Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Archive for January, 2013

RIP Donovan and Nigel

I was deeply saddened by this news.

I pray that the kids are happy at another place now.
I pray that God, You help little Donovan and Nigel’s family, especially their Mummy.
Please give them peace and strength during this difficult time.

RIP Donovan & Nigel.

Aplenty Updates – (Besides loving others, one has to appreciate herself)

Hi!

I am writing about random stuff today.  (Warning: it is actually VERY wordy)

First and foremost, i would like to talk about the dress i am selling.

Information and pictures as below:

Brand: Love Bonito, CNY Collection Erving Dress – Sold out on Love Bonito Website

Size: M measures 16″ PTP, 12″ to 18″ waist, 23″ hips, 33.5″ down.

Color: Yellow/ Lemon

Price: $30 Brand New, Never worn before. (Original retail price on Love bonito is $32)

 

SOLD
Additional description:

Highlight the number’s unique detail with sparkly embellishments, making your chic getup hard to miss! Fully lined; cotton polyester material. Slightly sheer; especially for White (comes with petticoat). Key hole opening at back with button fastening. Elastically banded at waist. Made of crepe chiffon.

sale2 sale

Photos and information courtesy of http://www.lovebonito.com/

The Yellow piece was a gorgeous one. I really like it  alot. But i reckon it was an impulse purchase because the moment i received the physical piece, i realise it is really NOT ME at all.
Chiffon and all, i dont really like it afterall but i still thought it is a very pretty dress, the color is so awww, it just makes anyone feel a tad lighter in this hot weather.

I honestly contemplated for very long, (2days? is long enough for me) before making the decision to sell it.
It is so new and never been worn before.

But anyway,  i have other clothes for CNY and they are mostly working attires (sadness) and honestly, i didnt buy much clothes this year, because CNY has been boring though it is 1 of my fav festivals. I do not have much relatives to visit, friends are mostly bz visiting, so i doubt i m hanging out much, thus CNY is just an excuse for me to shop, n i intend to stop using this excuse to shop so much this time.

As i mentioned above, the original price Love Bonito is selling @ $32 and i am letting it go at $30, it is brand new, no defects, never even tried on before.

If you are interested, leave a comment or email me @ valenciafaithz.z@gmail.com

Next up:

I have been taking care of myself recently. Not that i have been torturing myself in the past (come to think of it, i kinda tortured myself in the past. LOL)

“Like How?” – you ask.

Well, i used to party non stop and my highest record was 6 days a week, sometimes 7 days straight, but i was really young back then, maybe 20 or younger.
I remember during that time, Romance, Fun, Parties, all activities that are not constructive appeal so much to me.
Drinking from the bottle itself is like heaven, smoking non stop is nothing unhealthy in my eyes, it is just for me to catch / absorb more air into the throat and feel damn shiok  (twisted logic and i feel like slapping myself now).
I DONT do drugs though. I was offered drugs since 14year old but i refused to touch it because i know i am quite weak in disciplining myself. Like smoking, some people can control themselves, and not get addicted but i got addicted heavily ever since i started smoking at 14yr old (i am 27 now and  thats 13 years of smoking). I refused to touch drugs because i do not want to get addicted to it, i know there are drugs that will not get you addicted but honestly, i think that ADDICTION DOESNT necessary mean that YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE PRODUCT ITSELF, ADDICTION CAN BE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE HABIT.

Anyway, more on ADDICTION later.

Back to the Unhealthy (old) me. Yea, i lost alot of weight back then and i wonder why, perhaps i was always emo after all the drinking, and the bad relationships i had with the wrong people. It was just Shit lah.
I smoked more than i eat, i think. I love the slim body back then but i seriously look tired and disgusting.
However, because my skin is still Okay as per se, thus i always conceal and hide through cosmetics, not really thick make ups but normal make up.

I forgot for how long have i been leading that kinda life and to be honest, it was tiring. Physically/ Mentally and Spiritually.
So this was around 2000 – 2006? I seriously cant rem!

Then, i got into much stable relationships and i party lesser or infact, i kinda got myself outta the party scene.

But, those r/s didnt last long, sad but true, although i was MORE serious (i am serious all the time but by 24, i am almost thinking of ‘settling dwn’ and marriage might be in consideration)  in the r/s when i was older ( i think i am around 24 then).
It was never 1 party’s fault, i was not suitable for the exes and neither are they worth loving and blahblah.
So you know, i heard this from some1 really successful – the most difficult thing on earth is finding the right person as a lifetime soulmate and partner. Thus, despite my (you may say many) failed relationships, i tried not to blame anyone or myself.
Year 2008??

After ending those r/s, you must be thinking “Valencia must be back to those crazy party days again”
Nope i didnt really return to those party days but i kinda worked with a nightlife company.
People who know me will know which company is it and i am always at Clarke Quay, that is.
Although i market (marketing)  the different F&B outlets and Entertainment Clubs, i am NOT ONLY required to work in the day but i am also required to hang around the clubs at night, sometimes, till wee hours. Needless to say, i have countless nights of spending time entertaining and Drinking is inevitable.
Sometimes my mum would even ask me “what are you wrking exactly, y r u drunk and all?” HAHAHA
And of course, Smoking is inevitable too, especially when you are a smoker and  the business associates smoke too.

That was when i was single, i spent all my time at work and my ex colleagues smoke alot too (most of them). So, what i did besides working hard was Smoking, Partying, Drinking and it repeated for approximately 1 year.
This was in 2009 (approx).

Then, i got attached to the philandering ex bf Adrian and i guess you know what happened after that. I got abused and all for another 1 year.
I was already looking like a zombie by then (according to my mum LOL) I didnt sleep well, didnt eat well, i smoked alot and i have bruises all over me and i really dont recognise myself.
If i were to see Me now – the Valencia 1 year ago , I really will cry for myself.
Year 2010- First half of 2012

So…the above account for the  unhealthy me for the pass…wait, i have to count because it was the longest time and it felt like forever….
Ok, the Unhealthy me for the pass 13 years (i reckon i should start counting from 14 because i started smoking back then).

Let me do a short summary of my health and well being after the 13 years of crazy torture to myself.

Hair – Dry and frankly, i do not know how my lifestyle can affect the hair but i reckon my hair was forever stained with smoke and smelling bad back then.

Face – Worst part of the body. WORST. DRY LIKE CORNFLAKES (dont ask me y cornflakes. i just feel so) The Skin peels like mad, dry to the max and nothing more than just being Dry. SIGH. Now you know what they say about smokers’ skin condition? IT IS SO TRUE. YELLOWISH AND JUST DAMN DRY.

Body – Weight infatuated. Fat, lost weight and then Fat again. Tired of all these.

Mental – Totally Depressed. Severe Depression, because of the stress from work, the miscom in family, the hurtful relationships. I was referred to Shrinks (my family were very very very protective of me, they know that i am not unsound, they know that i was just too stress at that moment)

I am 27 but i already felt like 37 after going through all that  physical and mental torment.

So what now? Yeap, i have been taking care of myself, at least, for the past few mths and esp the recent 1 mth of 2013. haha.
I am not writing about some 2013 resolutions because i mentioned i do not believe in resolutions. If a person wana b better, it can be anytime and not relying on making some resolutions that most cant keep.

After 1 decade of crazy torture to myself, i finally started to Love myself aplenty and be more careful with the way i live.
I know it is kinda late as i am already over mid twenties.
The smart and disciplined ones started maintaining a healthy body since 21 or even teenage.
But BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
I said that because i still see or know people who party non stop, drinking non stop, smoking and doing whatever that harm the body non stop at late 20s to even 60s. OMG PLS.

But anyway, i got this message nagging me during the end of 2012. Infact, i have this naggy voice telling me to quit smoking since 2011. But i brushed it aside because it was impossible to me back then. I was so heavily addicted, without cigarettes- i cant sleep, i cant do anything and i will feel frustrated.
Previously, I even threw my stuff around, flaring up because i couldnt find a lighter to light the cig.
That was how extreme i was and that was  how much i would do for a cig.
I remember that i was very broke at one point of my life, i only have $ enough for 4 packets of rice (which can last me for 2 days!) OR 1 packet of cigs.
I bought the cigs without thinking at all.  Back then, i can do without food but i cant do without cigs.
Again, thats how much i would do for cigs, and thats how deeply addicted i am.

38570_1_341
So anyway, back to the naggy voice…It was very soft and honestly, the normal Valencia you know – WILL NEVER SAY YES TO QUIT (smoking).
I have discouraged i-cant-rem how many friends from quitting (i was a crap, i noe)
Thus, i do not know who spoke that idea of ‘quitting’ into my heart and brain and it turned into a burden. TOTAL BURDEN.

The voice was getting louder and louder till i cant take it and i just told myself in Dec 2012 that i will STOP COMMITTING MYSLF TO SMOKING. Yeap, Stop smoking lah.

Do you think i can do it? I tell you the truth, it was DIFFICULT AS I DONT KNOW WHAT, for the 1st week. During the first 3 days, i almost wanted to …i didnt know how to not smoke. Really, i do not know how to not smoke, just like you asking a non smoker to smoke, he/she wun know how to smoke or how to light the cig and how to inhale and exhale right?
I really do not know what to do without smoking. The worst parts were after meals, the morning sticks and the sticks before sleep. TERRIBLE.

I can assure you, it is not easy, those that say it is easy are just bullsh*tting because they are proud.
HAHA. Ok lah, my Personal experience was really bad and it was not easy at all.

Those Preachy talks about “if you have determination to do something, you can and will do it”…
But, as cliché as it sound, it really work that way.
NOTHING, and i mean it. NOTHING help if you do not really WANT TO DO IT.

I dont know how i did it, but i can be very frank with you, even up till now, i still have that urge, now and then. ESPECIALLY when i am feeling upset.

Maybe, just maybe, God really knows how to help me. Even if it means, using my weak point.
Why i say that? Because i am super LAZY. I am really super LAZY, i shall not explain but trust me that i am super lazy. (rem i said something about self-discipline?) Ok, 1 eg. I dont like to walk down to the shop to buy food for lunch, so most of the time, i just dont eat or during weekends,  i find food at home to feed myself.  I am lazy to even walk that few steps to the Hawker.

Thus, the moment i finished smoking the last stick i had, i never buy another box of Ciggies.  Because i am lazy. I am lazy to walk to any Mama shop or 7-11 to buy. Not only that, it helps too when i see myself less broke, and i can buy more dresses since i stopped buying ciggies.
I HONESTLY FEEL PROUD OF MYSELF AND NTG ELSE. HAHA

I can’t list the whole list of Pros (of quitting) but you already know the Cons of smoking yea. Everyone will eventually die 1 day, thus many people smoke and enjoy ‘the-moment’ now. These people (i am not being judgemental because i truly understand what a smoker feels and think) have the YOU-ONLY-LiVE-ONCE mentality and smoking seriously is like a “frustration-quencher” (watermelon juice- a thirst- quencher analogy because usually you feel better after smoking if you are upset) I really understand all that from a Smoker’s point of view. But there are def more pros than cons, you knew it.

Health: I dont know about you (if you smoke), but for me, i do not want to risk dying younger than i should because i really really treasure my life now more than b4, i treasure my family alot to die young.

Image: I do not want to die ugly.
Smoking causes stains here and there, teeth and nails and it makes a person smell so bad in and out. Thats enough to cause inferiority.
I also tend to hide in a corner to smoke most of the time because i really hate the smoking image. No matter how pretty a woman can be, the moment she holds a cig, it changes everything. (Tell me it doesnt? Tell me any guy that will feel proud bringing u back to their parents? Tell me you smoke infront of your friends’ parents and expect the parents to like you? )

Mental: I do not want to feel ugly.
Most of the times, i dont even dare to admit to people that i smoke but people usually smell it. I am so embarrassed and ashamed (dont ask me why am i ashamed, i just dont feel proud)

Financial: I want to be richer and i am getting more and more cautious as i am older because my savings now aint the amount i desire to have.
Again, not sure about you but i spend ard hundreds per mth and honestly, with these $, i see myself doing more constructive things. Like- dolling myself up because at my age, i want to maintain looking youthful and i do not want to resort to botox, thus i rather spend on skincare and more clothes.

Yep. I didnt break this news earlier on because i am always a person who speaks after action. I will only announce it after i have succeeded doing it. It holds more weight though i am not trying to convince anyone Nor impress anyone but i just like to do it before saying it.

However, as i confessed, i still have the urge to smoke sometimes, though not often.
I did accepted 2 sticks from a friend who offered (and yea, i gave in to temptation then) after not smoking for a month.
But i am still trying right? So please dont judge! But you can pray for me though. 🙂

I managed to be free from the addiction not only due to my own determination but also, i owe this to God. I prayed to Jesus, so many times during those tough times, i prayed for Him to take away my urge and honestly, i really do not remember having much urges.
Of course, there are people tt commented tt i always use the name of Jesus too often and too much. Well, thats my belief, and i do believe He did help me along because whenever i spend time praying the urge away, i feel i do not need a stick at all. Call it psychological effects but i believe in my heart, it is God that helps me along 🙂 Thank God!

Remember what i said about Addiction? I had very bad flu and all for the 1st 2 to 3 days, i felt sick during that few days of withdrawal symptoms.
But trust me, after  all the so-called after-effects, it is no longer the nicotine nor cig itself that holds u back.
It is your Habit, It is Yourself.

I always believe it is easy to break addiction to a product (Unless you are talking about Heroin) but it is NOT Easy to break a Habit.
Alot of people said that they are addicted but i personally feel that they do not know what they are addicted to. Are they addicted to Cigarettes or are they addicted to Smoking?
Cigarette is a product while Smoking is an action, a habit.
Thus, when you say you are addicted, you must be aware that you are addicted to a Habit and Not the product.
I mean, you seldom hear people say “i am addicted to cigarettes”. All of the time, it is “i am addicted to smoking” Right?
And since it is a habit that you are addicted to, you must be prepared to be strong and much stronger mindset is needed to cut this nasty habit away!

I did not eat those sweets, i did not use any nicotine pad, i never chew on any gums. I just bought a Vicks Inhaler (as below) and inhale if i feel the urge. But i did not want to start another addiction thus i try not to use it so often and yea, i kinda stopped using it. I just used it during the initial difficult stage.
vicks-vapo-vapor-inhaler_1_

In conclusion, i make use of everything to break a habit. Vicks inhaler, prayers, etc. Oh, i also try to chat with Mum to distract myself, initially, it was kinda deliberate and whenever u are doing anything deliberately, it is gona remind you of what you are trying to stay distracted from.
But, as time passes, it turned into a new habit and before you know it, your old habit is being replaced, gradually. Sounds easy? But i struggled for around a month. 30days.

It is never easy to quit, but Quoting what Gary told me
never tell yourself you are quitting because it is human nature  that quitting is hard, quitting anything is hard.
Just tell yourself that you are no longer a smoker, you dont smoke.”

Some might think we are playing with words here but the difference is really huge because the word ‘Quitting’ is indeed intimidating.

If you are thinking of cutting this habit, I hope i help abit by penning down my personal experience of cutting cigarettes.

All i can say is, i have stop buying Ciggies (and nope, i dont go around asking for ciggies even though my current colleague smokes too) and
I AM NOT COMMITTED TO SMOKING
(i used to have this commitment, this committed r/s with ciggies, which also means that i will look for it, like how a gf will look for her bf. i will never abandon it and i will smoke wenever i am sad or happy. similar to how a good friend will share her good and bad times with her best friend).
Yep, i am no longer tied to,controlled by or bonded to the Cigarrettes Nor the action – Smoking.
I never never experience such freedom for 13 years, which is estimated 4745 days.
I wont say i am very healthy now but at least i am healthier than before, i get to make the choice of whether to accept an offer from a friend OR NOT accepting. You see, cigarettes CANOT control me anymore, i am so strong that i do not need something deadly to control me anymore. I control my own mind and thinking.
I do not need to be committed to Malborooooo Nor Nex Chill (cigs brands)

Btw, i went Cold Turkey because i personally dont believe in cutting down and etc. I tried cutting down and thats just crap to me, i will never stop smoking if i do not cut it off completely.
You cant say you will not have sex after foreplay right?
You cant say you will not eat the fried chicken after frying the chicken instead of steaming it right?
Point is: You run away from Temptation and Not resisting and coming near contact to it.

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
2 Timothy 2:22 New International Version (NIV)

So, btw, smoking isnt very cool nor in the trend nwadays ar? Dont know why but i realise the trend now has changed. Smoking used to be cool (to some) but not anymore – seriously.

I did not write about what harm will be done to each organ in the body – hearts, lungs, throats, noses and etc… because honestly, as a smoker previously, i dont care about all that, i only know it is bad for myself but i still do it. It is a chore to read abt all those. But i will include this helpline for you although i saved the number but i did not call them because i manged to come out of it before i even call.

Monday to Friday – 8.30am to 5.00pm
Saturday – 8.30am to 1.00pm

QuitLine
Call 1800 438 2000 (Toll-free)

Hmm,  thats 1 thing off my list, 1 burden off my mind.

Next up: The body.
The body needs abit of exercising now even though i managed to get the shape back recently but i am still not as slim as before (when i was way younger, i was so skinny)
I am not Fat now, i lost weight, but i can do better, will blog more on this next time. I ought to do some workout and as usual, i will not be revealing much till after i have done it. But hints: I will prolly sign up classes that allow me to moves around and kicks around or dance around like mad! HAHAAH
Also, it is for fitness purposes lah, besides being trim, i hope i can be fitter too.

Face: I dont do facial because it is expensive and i know it does help but honestly, my skin is really quite good, according to docs, skincare specialists and friends. Thank God for that, and i dont waste $ buying packages for Facials but perhaps is time to do so…
I never put products on my face, not for the past 27 years. I know it is A MUST to slap on toners and moisturizer nightly and daily and religiously.
BUT I HAVE NEVER DONE ALL THAT till recently. Because i realised that i am reaching 30.

I mean, in all honesty, i am not exactly old but i am not teenager nor m i in the early twenties. I want to maintain looking good and even though i might not look 30, i dont want to risk looking 30. Not for anyone this time, not for Men nor friends but i feel good when i look good.
IT IS FOR MYSELF.

Thus, recently i tried SK2, i have 2 bottles of their sample (tell me small sample bottles dont work and i will ask u to talk to my hand because if it doesnt, tell me why they invent sample bottles). Moreover, i used it for around a mth+. More than enough time to tell the effects if any.
It doesnt wrk for me though. I heard alot of good reviews from others but maybe is just not suitable for me.

I tried Bio Essence. It used to work but it doesnt really bring the glow to my face. My face is really dry to an extent. Sigh. Big Sigh.
Yes, although i have no pimples and i can count with 1 hand, hw many times i actually have pimples in my 27 yrs of life. My skin is extremely dry (thus no pimples) and it turns flaky most of the time. My skin peel off itself and i cant even apply make up, i already stopped using powder and choose BB cream instead but it just doesnt sit well on my face and my whole face just look terribly flaky usually.

It is very sad whenever my skin peel off or feels tight and dry. I would try to slap on masks (sis  got them frm TW and i will use them) and usually it works but i guess as time passes, it kinda lost it effects.

Desperate and din know what to do, Sis pass me a bottle of HaDa LaBo. She used it but have stopped since i dont know when. A bottle so big and she only used 1/3 of it. “i shall just give it a try, no harm” i thought. Afterall, they say in their ad that it will : 锁住一个海洋 (lock an ocean) HAHA

hadalabo

I must say i am amazed by it because my sis told me it is not expensive but the moment i slapped it on, i feel it hydrates my skin instantly.
I have been using it since Sunday, it is the 3rd day today and my skin is so bouncy, so hydrated, so firm (although i dont know why it feels firm because it is supposed to hydrate). I feel so good applying make up or even when i dont apply make up, i feel very good because there is a glow on my face.
Applying make up seems easier and faster, and the skin is so silky smooth. Now that i am typing this, i am feeling & touching my face (sounds psycho again but i am really doing it). It is VERY SMOOTH. If it is not baby skin, it at least has to be a toddler’s skin. Or you can describe as egg shell. glowy and smooth.
– No Flaky Skins
– No weird bumps and ugly pores problem
JUST WHITE SNOW SKIN. Looks so much healthier too!

In Just 3 Days.

I am NOT PAID to do any ad nor reviews for Hada Labo but i sincerely want to share here with readers about my personal experience because i am SO HAPPY that my face is so silky smooth now. I always have good skin as mentioned, but i have never experience the glow nor the flawless smooth skin texture before, never before (please exclude baby and toddler’s times).

Now i am happy that i finally found the right product for me!
Having said that, it works for me but it might not work for you as my Sis didnt like it cos she has oily skin and she feels uncomfy applying this.
So, result varies for individual. I shall browse their website for more products after finishing this post…

S_ ** users, time to ditch that expensive bottle of saliva (smells like it) and you know what is a better alternative! Really!

Above image and information, courtesy of http://www.hadalabo.com.sg

Well, i kinda spent 2 hours on this post. Terrible, i initially wanted to just upload my new picture and do some simple updates… never knew it wud be so long and naggy! If you are still reading, well thanks! Haha. Because i am lazy, i never wana do any review or beauty posts but since i am at this topic of well-being….might as well?

As for the Hair, picture below will do the talking. I personally like it alot, 10 outta 10 people commented tt i look younger than before. I feel  i lost 5 years of age aft the haircut and well, i love it. However, it is pissing me off gradually as i have to blow straight the hairends every morning if not i will look like an Octopus (it curls outwards and it is not right)

WD5CAOQGYINCAI4W7ADCAAP8F14CACN7YFVCAIXWD8YCALXVROFCATUGTF5CATTM49YCAHICUR0CACC293HCA7I2OJCCAM1449NCAXMABOBCA9EQY4OCAWXNU82CA8ED44SCADW4NXYCAR8OYKACA5BIDAQ
Thus, i am heading over to Bbra’s to get it permed. Yes, i am gona perm it. I am praying that i wont look old because you know how curls can make a person look older.
But i trust Bbra will do a good job for me, fingers crossed!
So before it is permed, take a look at it while it is straight! 4 mre days to perm!

 IMG_20130128_1
IMG_20130128_2

You may check out the skin’s condition. Both pictures- no make up. Zero make up. However 1st pic was filtered. 2nd pic is Raw.

p/s: i do not have before and after photos for my skin. My hp was faulty for the past 1 week. and i couldnt take any decent photos, moreover, the skin conditions cant be seen on pictures. It is just not obvious because i do not have acnes nor holes to start with, it is just the texture of the skin that has improved tremendously. I also do not have a picture of me before the haircut but i guess you can imagine lah, since i always post long hair pics previously. The phone is looking good, not faulty anymore but not as perfect as before. Sigh, hope it will not disappoint me again.

Managed to retrieve a picture of me having long hair over Insta for comparison (uploaded6.30pm 29/1/13):

Beforerad

AfterIMG_20130129_4

p/s p/s: gonna celebrate Sis’s bday this Sunday and bringing Mum to town to shop this Sat. can’t wait and then it will be CNY already. Happy CNY in advance!

p/s p/s p/s: “Besides loving others, one has to appreciate herself”
this was quoted from Leslie Cheung (my fav artiste and the late HK superstar).
This sentence also sums up the reason for this lengthy post. If you love yourself, you will find yourself being loved by many. If you love yourself, you will feel happy everyday. I have to remind myself that i Love myself, and because i love myself, i do not want to be inferior and i do not need people to label me. I can do things i want to do, i can make myself happier and healthier and i can show myself i can be happy despite situations.
I do not need to rely on anyone.

人除了要懂得怎去爱人,最重要是要懂得怎样去欣赏自己。- Leslie Cheung

Just a Commoner

This is my Only Blog/ Site.

I DO NOT HAVE ANY FACEBOOK at the moment.

I DO NOT HAVE ANY BLOGSPOT.

I DO NOT WRITE OR POST ANY PICTURES OF ANY SORTS IN ANY OTHER AVENUES.

Reason why i am making this clear is beacuse it is irritating to see people using my pictures (as if i am Angelina Jolie) as theirs and started some FB.

Reason why i am making this clear is beacuse i have other blogs that uses my name (whether it is Valencia Faith, Valencia Faith Z, or Valencia Lesley) & using weird blog links that indicate ‘ME’ .

Terribly annoyed.

I mean, i aint those so called celebrity bloggers/ modelfoodlifestyleIT bloggers (they are al the same to me)
or those ‘Nuffnang-whatever-u-call-them’.

So, why do these?

Sometimes, i see it as haters, but i dont know where these haters come from.

Sometimes, is just pure imposters.

Whatever it is, i am just a simple commoner that shares my thinkings, values, life, and even good stuff/services i encountered without taking a cent from anyone.

Thus, please let me off and dont do all that to me, it is extremely frustrating….but honestly, if you (whoever u r la) still insist of creating fake accounts of me and all, i cant stop it right?
I hope you feel good at night when you sleep because it is kinda psychopathic and pathetic to do so lah.

v1

v2

Spell wrong even. Stalk also duno hw to stalk.
1) My surname not even Tan ( i hope tt person was really searching for his/her valencia TAN)
2) did i mention i hate people spelling my name as valenTia?

I din know so many people are interested in my life till i see all these searches, it makes me wonder who these people are.
Haha.

I mean, weird right.

If they are friends that have lost contact with me for a long time but were too embarrassed to contact me, hmmm. why not ?

If they are close friends, they would have visited my site frequently, so i reckon they do not need to search me over Google right? O_O

If they are haters, SPEECHLESS. (besides, i aint famous for your hatred)

If they are admirers, i would love to think so. hahaha. but i am still Speechless for this category.

If they are people who enjoy reading my blog, well, Thanks!

Not only that, even my friend is being googled, and thus, led to my blog.

Stalkers y u stalk my friend also???

But anw, wadever it is, i never believe that a blog is a private site, unless it is locked up. If it is open to public, anyone can do anyting and we cant do anyting abt it right?
You can watermark your photos and all but so? you cant sue as and when beacuse you are not some top blogger that has millions of views per day, you dont have the energy to be bothered much about all those ‘online mishaps’

HOWEVER, i still wish to say, this is the only place i write and rant.

If you are even interested. HAHA

Gona blog more the next entry, alot of new changes in my life! 🙂

Awesome Start for 2013 Hallejulah~

Still no pictures to update. My HP is still away in the Service Centre. Sadness 😦

Still no access to Whatsapp, i have friends complaining to me that i am not replying whatsapp, 😦 i still cant access Whatsapp !

Anyway, i have made some minor changes to my life, in and out. I am happy 🙂

I have decided on something with y sis on a certain issue, this is a major decision and i am glad that the sermon yesterday by Ps Kong and Ps Paul have enlightened me and confirmed my decision.

The next step will be motion, i have to act on my decision.

Thank God for Courage, and Blessings.

I met up with Kai7 and Gary ytd for dinner and chillax session, was definitely a good catch up, been TOO LONG!

Finally, i feel we are back to the Happy 3 days, honestly. I am very happy.

I know the both of them have been tolerating my nonsense and giving in to me. I am very grateful for the both of them.

Ever since Kai7 and Gary fell in love, Happy 3 did not feel as ‘happy’ as b4? Maybe it was only me, i did not feel the same because previously we were not bonded romantically, between the 3 of us, and suddenly, ther is a  couple in the 3 frens and i tend to feel awkward because i feel like an extra when we hang out.

Also, i tend to judge Kai7’s choice in being with Gary and alot of shits happened…

But i am thankful for having these 2 friends because ultimately, they did nt giv up loving me and i wonder what kinda  frens are they.

I mean, why do they bother so much abt me?! haha. If they are not angels sent, if this is not Love, what is?

Anw, Gary told me something which sorta motivated me abit more, and it is my 2nd confirmation for the day. (my decision with Sis).

Oh! did i forget to mention that my sis is very very nice to me now, like, suddenly, she learnt to be appreciative, not selfish, better than b4 and is starting to share (mentally and physically) with me (her thinkings, her material stuffs).I am very thankful. Thank God, You answered my prayers and i have ntg to ask  for. Really.

I am currently feeling good about everything and i believe it is a very GOOD start for 2013 and i believe more will come! Hallejulah!

 

Stalkers

You have no idea how many people are stalking you.

#truestory

Notification: I am out of reach

I am not sure how many people check out this space thou. Haha.

Since i cant broadcast in Fb because i have no Fb, and since i have done it in Twitter…

Hoping to reach maybe just a few more friends here? HAHA

But lemee just say, i am out of reach.

My Handset has failed me.

Please DO NOT whatsapp me.

You may still try calling  (after 3pm as i am bringing the damn phone to the service centre and in the meantime, i am gona get a shitty used Blackberry to use, not sure if it works thou) and sms but i will not know who r u, please indicate ur name when you sms (or call).

Cheers!

VallieLesley

Little Update

*waves*

It is the 4th day away from work.

Besides being SUPER BORED, everything else is good and i cant ask for more.

No stress, do not have to b afraid if i can slp at night, do not have to worry if i wake up in time for work in the mornings, do not have to face certain people, do whatever i want at home and just slack the day away.

I love days like these 4 days

But honestly, even though life shldnt be built on just work,  i feel rather aimless, and dead/useless these 4 days.

I feel i am not productive and am very lost in life.

I start to ponder if life, is all about work, or are Singaporeans too used to slog and relaxing seems taxing?

Weird right? If i feel lost in these 4 days, then what do the people do in Aussie and New Zealand? They are so slack! Arent they sick of their everyday?

Well, perhaps i will feel much better if my work is something i love. Not meaning that i hate my job now lah, just that, there are stuffs i love to do more.

Well, i am not exactly satisfied but i am ok with the result of the wait. I am praying for better results in time to come.

I wish that my days of away from work can be better if i am feeling all comfy and all, watching tons n tons of shows online.

But is ok la, at least i sleep alot.

I think i cant be a taitai at all la, because i dont have many rich friends so i cant high tea wih nobody in the boring afternoons.

Besides, high tea-ing daily can b a chore too.

I cant majong, because i think most eng eng people (people with lotsa free time) usually plant themselves at the table day and night.

Perhaps i am born to do some work (ok i am not born to slog please, i refuse to acknowledge that) and def not lazing around (though i wish i can).

Ok, just a small small update since i have been away for many days. There will be lotsa new plans, activities coming up, i promised (myself).

🙂

p/s i haven been taking many pictures ah. Lazy to upload too. Ntg special to take also. I guess i will upload more pictures when i have the ‘mood’ to.

 

This is not Independence

honestly, i am really pissed off.

Look, i dont think you can read this and i dont think u would read this even if i text you to.

But i hope you read this.

I do not think this spell independence. Not at all.

It is your 30th birthday celebration, you yourself wanted this mega crazy expensive extravagant party. YET you complain non stop to me about how expensive it is.

I mean…hello… i have been tolerating your whines, i know it is a 1 in a lifetime thing. I know it is not cheap, i know right?
 But since you already decided to do it, why do you whine so much? Is either you DO IT OR DONT DO IT.

I spend a few K on myself, i def felt the pinch. But i dont bitch all day long about it cos i know i wanted it. I needed to spend that amount on myself. It is exp but i am prepared to spend it. So i did and i never whine about it.

Since no matter what i said-about saving the $, doesnt really help, then i assume you really Need to do this lah, so why are you whinning about how expensive it is?

Then, i told you also, if you have to spend the $ to come back from all the way from France to Sg (after spending a bomb for that impressive bday party), i rather you save the $ and come back other time.

You said that it is a present for yourself.

Ok fine, then u complaint non stop about the cost. I am like…-_-. WTH?

I am not a Saint, as much as i want to have grace for you, really, i cant take it anymore.

Multiple times of arguing with me, with all your female friends. Whether we are wrong or NOT (usually not), you have to win the fight. You need to make sure you win.

If you like someone and someone doesnt like you back, you flare like how you did towards me.

If you make your point and someone doesnt go along with ur idea, you show me you nasty shitty gangster side of you.

Please. There are countless eg. and i have advised you to be a Gentleman and apologise to that female fren you had a fight with.

You refused and you bitched to me about her. CONSTANTLY.

I mean, cmon, you are a MAN. Dont be a Man by birth only (if you get what i mean).

Whenever you needed or wanted help, i try my best to help, each n everytime. With NO expectations, i dont need you to thank me, really. i dont.

Now, after the various quarrels and God knows hw many times…we always manage to patch things up. But i am very sick of your childish crapz.

I mean, whats the point of celebrating 30 yr old bday when you dont behave you are 30?

The Ultimatum.

You texted me non stop for help for your songlist to be played during your bday party. you wanted 4 titles i gave you 12. 3 TIMES of what you asked.

You whine about how people are not helping you AGAIN.

So fine, is just song titles, fine, i help, is really just titles.

But for God sake, y are you so dependent on friends, on people?

If you wanted this party, you wanted this party. Not your frens, they didnt ASK YOU to celebrate your bday this way i am very sure.

I am very sure they find your idea of clubbing in a bus entertaining, but i dont believe they insist of partying in the bus like you do. Besides, it is YOUR bday party, i dont think they insist on celebrating that way.

In fact, you were the one Insisting on Spending That Much, Yet you complain it is expensive, you were the one Insisting of doing this, Yet you complain nobody is helping you.

I have to say, your friends suck, like what you agreed. They suck. True frens wud jump to lend their hands to help. I myself have sucky friends that do not help out with events but just show up to enjoy.

But if none of your friend bother, i really think your friends suck, sorry friends of Glenn.

However, you DONT EXPECT people to help you because NOBODY is obligated to. cmon, you are supposed to be 30. Dont you know that NO1 is obligated to help you?

Jsut like my previous post, i was bitter that i help people tt needs my help but was sad that the same people i helped, refused to help me when i needed help.

Yes i feel sad, i blogged about it. I let it go.

You mention and complain non stop omg.

As if thats not enough, the way you DEMAND, yes you DEMANDED me to help. As if i owe you.

The way you DEMANDED is a total turn off. When i say i am busy, you asked me if i will b bz till next week? I mean, cmon? I am really bz and thats not an excuse, however, i was about to reply you that i will help till i see how u demand me to do it.

I am not your slave hello? Even if all your other frens suck, you cant expect me to make up for their mistakes ok?

Then, i tot, nvm, i shld stop being angry and have grace. So i thought, yes i will help you, but is better to teach you how to dl those songs you need, so in future, you do not need to rely on any1.

I am not lazy to help u, i just tot it will be good if you can do it urself since it is so simple, so you do not nd to wait for anyone to do it for you.

You cut me off and kp asking me if i can do it, if i can do it and it repeated..

I was totally disgusted. Cmon, are you a man or what? Why are you always behaving like that?

I mean, i am not saying you are a lousy person, i am not saying you should die or rot or wadever. But why are you always lidat?

I told you to be more independent because it is really very rude to cut ppl up when people is teaching you how to do it? Instead of learning, you shut me up?

That is not independence to me Glenn, sorry. Not even after you emphasize that you stay alone and started your own business.

If you cant even learn to stop blaming others, and if you cant handle the fact that you cant learn downloading songs urself  (because u dont listen to me teach), you are not independent.

I am really shocked at how petty you can get, towards my comment of you being dependent. But sorry, i cant say otherwise because you really are not independent in my eyes.

If you want to unfriend me due to what you made me feel, i cant do anyting AT ALL.

I have ntg against you, afterall, we are frens for over a decade but i cant stand it, really.

You can choose to NOT be a Gentleman, Fine.

but please dont behave like a spoilt brat to me. I wont and i cant take it.

Give Thanks to …

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is D-day.

My brand new day.

I pray and pray i will be safe truout, before and after.

I pray that it will be obvious and visible.

🙂

I CANT BELIEVE IT. IT IS SO NEAR?!?!?! I MUST HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR VERY VERY LONG.

During  those mths and mths of  tiny tinges of sadness and impatience…the day is finally here.

By the way, i was very honoured. My wedding workshop event was a blast and everyone enjoyed it (well, couples who came to me and feedback all the positive stuff, saying you enjoy the workshop, you love tis n you love that…i can feel your love for me. haha. but if you were lying, i wudnt know right, so i assume you did not lie. hahaha)

Maybe, just maybe..being a Marketing person, we tend to be forgotten by the bosses, afterall, it is sales that matters right?
So what if you create or have created major super good event, at the end of the day, it is the sales that counts.
Thus, the credit usually goes to the other side and i am not surprised.
I am just surprised how quickly i MIGHT BE forgotten. Like, how i search for the right people to work with, from scratch, from meetings and meetings, from price negotiations, from tis to tt.
How my colleagues were so against having this event, saying that my event suck and all..how hard i fight for this event to happen…

Imagine this. u and another lead actor were nominated for the Best Actor award for the same mega film.
It is obvious that you ought to win the title but somehow, the other one won it.

I am not saying that others deserve no credit, i applaud the ability in that area because i obviously hate it but enjoy doing the shit job behind the scene n create an avenue for sales but mostly on awareness building.

But….i just do not enjoy being unappreciated i guess. Oh, colleagues that are reading (if you are), i honestly have ntg much to talk to you guys anymore. I mean, since it is clear what you want or do not want from me, all the nasty words you gave me during work.
But do you remember how you despise me when i wanted to do this event?

Anyway, it is who i know and not what i know that make this event a success and i am SO GRATEFUL to the people below. Honestly, the credit belong to them!!

thankful34

1) Steve Thio – the Chief Editor of Female Brides
He has to be  the most wonderful person in the media industry i met. Superb attitude, helpful and i dont know what to say. honestly, he is really a very STEADY person. I know i know, i might chew off more than i can bite, off him…so i am so apologetic too! But Thank you Steve. Love u so much!

2) Veronica – salesperson of Female Brides
Always patient towards my ridiculous requests, despite being preggy. You now hw preggy woman can feel sometimes, but i feel i am the preggy one when i work with her. Goodness. She has no temper! Very sweet lady.

3) Acoustic Tavern
They have to be the most dedicated musicians ever. Always working hard to improve in terms of performance. Meet my needs as a partner and very very hardworking. I love them so much. If you ever need wedding or performing bands, please please search them on FB – Acoustic Tavern.
Many of my guests enjoyed their singing and i am sure you would too!

4) LaiChan
Needless to say, he is branded. His Cheongsam designs are more than just gorgeous. Remember Wong Kar Wai’s ‘In the mood for love’? If you feel like swaying in a tight body hugging sexy cheongsam like Maggie Cheung, please please, you gotta look for LaiChan.
I have never seen a more humble, sincere and nice TOP designer. He is just so nice! Dont be intimidated by his big name though, he is really VERY nice. Soft spoken and warm, i am so blessed to know great peeps like him.

5) The Prelude Bridal
Tann Ling, the owner of The Prelude is a stunning lady. Soft spoken (i dont know why all these designers/owners all very soft spoken n super humble 1, i am really blessed) and very gentle. Talented woman and she is someone you would want to talk to, with regards to your wedding gown requests.

6) Flavour Favour & Thinkads
Faye from FF and Sam from Thinkads. They are around my age, and naturally we talk and bitch while we work. Super nice ladies and VERY CREATIVE. Please look for them if you have any ideas for your wedding cards, ang pows, Guo-Da-Li stuffs. They will def make your ideas into 2382-389-032 ideas. Yes! they are that creative!

7) UOB Merchant side
thanks Joanne, you are the nicest and non-bitchy partner i ever have, especially when i am so full of requests! Thanks for being patient!

Ok, i hope i didnt miss anyone here. I doubt any of them gets to read this, BUT if , just if, if any of them reads this, i hope it warms their hearts!

Opps, i forgot to thank my lovely Boss, though she is sometimes anal about stuffs but ok la,  thank you for the chance.

And And And! The Guests, you guys are damn awesome la, so supportive, lucky me. If not i would tremble on stage with my nervous breakdown on stage la.

Ohohoh! The make up artist- Grego. Thank you my dear. I love you, you are just so ridiculously nice, i cant thank you more!

So happy that i have made very good friends along the way. 🙂

Ok, 1 big big stone off my chest now. 1 mission completed, i am so gona complete mission by mission before… haha.

Alrighty, a personal big mission for me tomorrow. If you love me, please pray for me, for my safety, for my success (you dont need to know what success la, just wish me well? ahha. i love u!)

Thank you Mummy, this lady supports me very silently 1. i love her to bits.

Thanks Gary and 7. I know you guys rem my stuff, very touching.

haha. i machiam really nominated for best actor. But i just feel the need to thank la. You know, no human is obliged to treat you nice, so if there is/are, you should express and thank them! they deserve all attention and glory!

All in all, i would love to Thank God.

People always ask me why am i thanking God for my own hardwork.

Here is why.

Whenever i sit down to think of plans to do, i have ZERO idea in my head.

I pray to God and ask for wisdom.

The idea didnt come immediately but it eventually pop up in my head.

Then, i will set my foot to go forward and do the 1st step. In fact, i will go tru many steps. But each and everytime i feel a voice in me telling me “no dont use him, dont go that way, dont use that publication and etc”…i will feel alittle shocked and uneasy..

Then..thats when i ‘make a u-turn’ and choose the other way.
It always turn out to be a better way to go! Just like this time, i choose to work with Steve even before i met him…guess the spirit of discernment is strong in me, by God’s grace.

Many instances, i am not saying Jesus is a lamp genie but it is like..weird… i prayed for a certain figure and it get that figure??? OMG. haha.

Of cos, HE doesnt do magic all the time. When i started to doubt, i  can always hear this voice in me saying: I did not give you 100, i did not and will not give you the perfect score because dont you realise that you did not do a perfect job that worth a 100%? Didnt i send people to comment on your work, your design, your marketing skills? Listen to them and do better next time. I will not give you a 100%  this time because i want you to learn”

This is scary isnt it? I mean, i do not usually imagine this kinda conversations in me, i mean, REALLY I DONT.
I daydream yes, i daydream abt Leslie Cheung, i daydream abt nice dresses and i daydream abt nice and new hairstyles but not such conversations la!

So it isnt self imagination to me. ok la, haters gona hate, non believers gona judge, i am fine, so used to it infact. But i just have to get this off my chest because i really feel the 1 working for me…Jesus. Thank you Jesus. I really know it is you. Thank you for sending angels and opening doors, thank you for everything!

Alrighty i gtg. There is a lack in pictures in my blog nwadays and i am sorry. haha. I have not many images to upload but i will take more when i am back yea!?

Meanwhile, take care, God Bless!

p/s: to that atheist that wrote crap, please do not insult yourself by writing such thing. the bible is NOT bullshit. But i feel your blog is, because it is so rude to read about your insensitivity. If you have not experience God nor what was written, dont claim it as bullshit. You Just Havent Experience It. Yes, you were in church for vry long and you claim to be a Christian even. So what? Some people live all their life realising they havent been clear about what they have been living, they merely exist. Some people took a lifetime to figure out who they really love. So it doesnt matter how long you have been a Christian, if you havent have the chance to encounter God, prolly you are not very near to Him or whatever, then you havent encounter Him. It doesnt matter the length of you being a Christian. Calling the bible bullshit reflects badly on yourself and sorry but you sound like a bullshit yourself. Please show some respect.

Approaching . . .

I have been waiting for all my life…ok, perhaps not.

Just 3 mths plus but it is enough to kill me.

Today, the date is 11th, i cant believe i am so near to 15th!

I really do not know how i make it through these few mths.

Actually i know, i do not dare to head out, i forced myself to head out feeling a little uncomfortable. ETC.

The wait seems faster during the few mths. Now that the day is nearer, the wait seems so loooooooooong.

As much as i am so anxious and looking forward to that day with anticipation….1% of me cant believe it is finally here and is a little resistent towards it.

I am just complicated yea?

Btw, it should be Day 9 but i kinda break it so it is Day 3 again.

But i am proud of myself, the cravings is getting lesser and i believe i can do it.

Thank you Jesus.

On a side note, the colleague at work is targeting all her hatred from God-knows-where, to me. All to me.

Honestly, i am very pissed off everyday at work, having to face such person. I have to write this out because i have no avenue to..

But at the same time, i am thankful that at least i have a job. No, i am not looking down on myself, yes  i believe i am capable to get a job elsewhere but you might not know. So.. i tolerate, i endure.

I am also learning to stand up for myself ever since i met such bullies.

I am rather sad that my sister at home is giving me attitude constantly. Is lik, she do not lik communicating properly with the family.

I never experience this from her when she was a teenager, but i gt all the shits when she is 24 this year.

She might not know or she might blame me for writing this. But honestly, she do not knw the hurts she bring to Mum and me for being so cold and harsh to us.

My life is not perfect, but i start to look at small little things that bring smiles to my face, i guess thats how we manage to survive each day.

If not, life is gona b very hard.

Isnt it?

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