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Archive for January, 2013

This is not Independence

honestly, i am really pissed off.

Look, i dont think you can read this and i dont think u would read this even if i text you to.

But i hope you read this.

I do not think this spell independence. Not at all.

It is your 30th birthday celebration, you yourself wanted this mega crazy expensive extravagant party. YET you complain non stop to me about how expensive it is.

I mean…hello… i have been tolerating your whines, i know it is a 1 in a lifetime thing. I know it is not cheap, i know right?
 But since you already decided to do it, why do you whine so much? Is either you DO IT OR DONT DO IT.

I spend a few K on myself, i def felt the pinch. But i dont bitch all day long about it cos i know i wanted it. I needed to spend that amount on myself. It is exp but i am prepared to spend it. So i did and i never whine about it.

Since no matter what i said-about saving the $, doesnt really help, then i assume you really Need to do this lah, so why are you whinning about how expensive it is?

Then, i told you also, if you have to spend the $ to come back from all the way from France to Sg (after spending a bomb for that impressive bday party), i rather you save the $ and come back other time.

You said that it is a present for yourself.

Ok fine, then u complaint non stop about the cost. I am like…-_-. WTH?

I am not a Saint, as much as i want to have grace for you, really, i cant take it anymore.

Multiple times of arguing with me, with all your female friends. Whether we are wrong or NOT (usually not), you have to win the fight. You need to make sure you win.

If you like someone and someone doesnt like you back, you flare like how you did towards me.

If you make your point and someone doesnt go along with ur idea, you show me you nasty shitty gangster side of you.

Please. There are countless eg. and i have advised you to be a Gentleman and apologise to that female fren you had a fight with.

You refused and you bitched to me about her. CONSTANTLY.

I mean, cmon, you are a MAN. Dont be a Man by birth only (if you get what i mean).

Whenever you needed or wanted help, i try my best to help, each n everytime. With NO expectations, i dont need you to thank me, really. i dont.

Now, after the various quarrels and God knows hw many times…we always manage to patch things up. But i am very sick of your childish crapz.

I mean, whats the point of celebrating 30 yr old bday when you dont behave you are 30?

The Ultimatum.

You texted me non stop for help for your songlist to be played during your bday party. you wanted 4 titles i gave you 12. 3 TIMES of what you asked.

You whine about how people are not helping you AGAIN.

So fine, is just song titles, fine, i help, is really just titles.

But for God sake, y are you so dependent on friends, on people?

If you wanted this party, you wanted this party. Not your frens, they didnt ASK YOU to celebrate your bday this way i am very sure.

I am very sure they find your idea of clubbing in a bus entertaining, but i dont believe they insist of partying in the bus like you do. Besides, it is YOUR bday party, i dont think they insist on celebrating that way.

In fact, you were the one Insisting on Spending That Much, Yet you complain it is expensive, you were the one Insisting of doing this, Yet you complain nobody is helping you.

I have to say, your friends suck, like what you agreed. They suck. True frens wud jump to lend their hands to help. I myself have sucky friends that do not help out with events but just show up to enjoy.

But if none of your friend bother, i really think your friends suck, sorry friends of Glenn.

However, you DONT EXPECT people to help you because NOBODY is obligated to. cmon, you are supposed to be 30. Dont you know that NO1 is obligated to help you?

Jsut like my previous post, i was bitter that i help people tt needs my help but was sad that the same people i helped, refused to help me when i needed help.

Yes i feel sad, i blogged about it. I let it go.

You mention and complain non stop omg.

As if thats not enough, the way you DEMAND, yes you DEMANDED me to help. As if i owe you.

The way you DEMANDED is a total turn off. When i say i am busy, you asked me if i will b bz till next week? I mean, cmon? I am really bz and thats not an excuse, however, i was about to reply you that i will help till i see how u demand me to do it.

I am not your slave hello? Even if all your other frens suck, you cant expect me to make up for their mistakes ok?

Then, i tot, nvm, i shld stop being angry and have grace. So i thought, yes i will help you, but is better to teach you how to dl those songs you need, so in future, you do not need to rely on any1.

I am not lazy to help u, i just tot it will be good if you can do it urself since it is so simple, so you do not nd to wait for anyone to do it for you.

You cut me off and kp asking me if i can do it, if i can do it and it repeated..

I was totally disgusted. Cmon, are you a man or what? Why are you always behaving like that?

I mean, i am not saying you are a lousy person, i am not saying you should die or rot or wadever. But why are you always lidat?

I told you to be more independent because it is really very rude to cut ppl up when people is teaching you how to do it? Instead of learning, you shut me up?

That is not independence to me Glenn, sorry. Not even after you emphasize that you stay alone and started your own business.

If you cant even learn to stop blaming others, and if you cant handle the fact that you cant learn downloading songs urself  (because u dont listen to me teach), you are not independent.

I am really shocked at how petty you can get, towards my comment of you being dependent. But sorry, i cant say otherwise because you really are not independent in my eyes.

If you want to unfriend me due to what you made me feel, i cant do anyting AT ALL.

I have ntg against you, afterall, we are frens for over a decade but i cant stand it, really.

You can choose to NOT be a Gentleman, Fine.

but please dont behave like a spoilt brat to me. I wont and i cant take it.

Give Thanks to …

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is D-day.

My brand new day.

I pray and pray i will be safe truout, before and after.

I pray that it will be obvious and visible.

🙂

I CANT BELIEVE IT. IT IS SO NEAR?!?!?! I MUST HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR VERY VERY LONG.

During  those mths and mths of  tiny tinges of sadness and impatience…the day is finally here.

By the way, i was very honoured. My wedding workshop event was a blast and everyone enjoyed it (well, couples who came to me and feedback all the positive stuff, saying you enjoy the workshop, you love tis n you love that…i can feel your love for me. haha. but if you were lying, i wudnt know right, so i assume you did not lie. hahaha)

Maybe, just maybe..being a Marketing person, we tend to be forgotten by the bosses, afterall, it is sales that matters right?
So what if you create or have created major super good event, at the end of the day, it is the sales that counts.
Thus, the credit usually goes to the other side and i am not surprised.
I am just surprised how quickly i MIGHT BE forgotten. Like, how i search for the right people to work with, from scratch, from meetings and meetings, from price negotiations, from tis to tt.
How my colleagues were so against having this event, saying that my event suck and all..how hard i fight for this event to happen…

Imagine this. u and another lead actor were nominated for the Best Actor award for the same mega film.
It is obvious that you ought to win the title but somehow, the other one won it.

I am not saying that others deserve no credit, i applaud the ability in that area because i obviously hate it but enjoy doing the shit job behind the scene n create an avenue for sales but mostly on awareness building.

But….i just do not enjoy being unappreciated i guess. Oh, colleagues that are reading (if you are), i honestly have ntg much to talk to you guys anymore. I mean, since it is clear what you want or do not want from me, all the nasty words you gave me during work.
But do you remember how you despise me when i wanted to do this event?

Anyway, it is who i know and not what i know that make this event a success and i am SO GRATEFUL to the people below. Honestly, the credit belong to them!!

thankful34

1) Steve Thio – the Chief Editor of Female Brides
He has to be  the most wonderful person in the media industry i met. Superb attitude, helpful and i dont know what to say. honestly, he is really a very STEADY person. I know i know, i might chew off more than i can bite, off him…so i am so apologetic too! But Thank you Steve. Love u so much!

2) Veronica – salesperson of Female Brides
Always patient towards my ridiculous requests, despite being preggy. You now hw preggy woman can feel sometimes, but i feel i am the preggy one when i work with her. Goodness. She has no temper! Very sweet lady.

3) Acoustic Tavern
They have to be the most dedicated musicians ever. Always working hard to improve in terms of performance. Meet my needs as a partner and very very hardworking. I love them so much. If you ever need wedding or performing bands, please please search them on FB – Acoustic Tavern.
Many of my guests enjoyed their singing and i am sure you would too!

4) LaiChan
Needless to say, he is branded. His Cheongsam designs are more than just gorgeous. Remember Wong Kar Wai’s ‘In the mood for love’? If you feel like swaying in a tight body hugging sexy cheongsam like Maggie Cheung, please please, you gotta look for LaiChan.
I have never seen a more humble, sincere and nice TOP designer. He is just so nice! Dont be intimidated by his big name though, he is really VERY nice. Soft spoken and warm, i am so blessed to know great peeps like him.

5) The Prelude Bridal
Tann Ling, the owner of The Prelude is a stunning lady. Soft spoken (i dont know why all these designers/owners all very soft spoken n super humble 1, i am really blessed) and very gentle. Talented woman and she is someone you would want to talk to, with regards to your wedding gown requests.

6) Flavour Favour & Thinkads
Faye from FF and Sam from Thinkads. They are around my age, and naturally we talk and bitch while we work. Super nice ladies and VERY CREATIVE. Please look for them if you have any ideas for your wedding cards, ang pows, Guo-Da-Li stuffs. They will def make your ideas into 2382-389-032 ideas. Yes! they are that creative!

7) UOB Merchant side
thanks Joanne, you are the nicest and non-bitchy partner i ever have, especially when i am so full of requests! Thanks for being patient!

Ok, i hope i didnt miss anyone here. I doubt any of them gets to read this, BUT if , just if, if any of them reads this, i hope it warms their hearts!

Opps, i forgot to thank my lovely Boss, though she is sometimes anal about stuffs but ok la,  thank you for the chance.

And And And! The Guests, you guys are damn awesome la, so supportive, lucky me. If not i would tremble on stage with my nervous breakdown on stage la.

Ohohoh! The make up artist- Grego. Thank you my dear. I love you, you are just so ridiculously nice, i cant thank you more!

So happy that i have made very good friends along the way. 🙂

Ok, 1 big big stone off my chest now. 1 mission completed, i am so gona complete mission by mission before… haha.

Alrighty, a personal big mission for me tomorrow. If you love me, please pray for me, for my safety, for my success (you dont need to know what success la, just wish me well? ahha. i love u!)

Thank you Mummy, this lady supports me very silently 1. i love her to bits.

Thanks Gary and 7. I know you guys rem my stuff, very touching.

haha. i machiam really nominated for best actor. But i just feel the need to thank la. You know, no human is obliged to treat you nice, so if there is/are, you should express and thank them! they deserve all attention and glory!

All in all, i would love to Thank God.

People always ask me why am i thanking God for my own hardwork.

Here is why.

Whenever i sit down to think of plans to do, i have ZERO idea in my head.

I pray to God and ask for wisdom.

The idea didnt come immediately but it eventually pop up in my head.

Then, i will set my foot to go forward and do the 1st step. In fact, i will go tru many steps. But each and everytime i feel a voice in me telling me “no dont use him, dont go that way, dont use that publication and etc”…i will feel alittle shocked and uneasy..

Then..thats when i ‘make a u-turn’ and choose the other way.
It always turn out to be a better way to go! Just like this time, i choose to work with Steve even before i met him…guess the spirit of discernment is strong in me, by God’s grace.

Many instances, i am not saying Jesus is a lamp genie but it is like..weird… i prayed for a certain figure and it get that figure??? OMG. haha.

Of cos, HE doesnt do magic all the time. When i started to doubt, i  can always hear this voice in me saying: I did not give you 100, i did not and will not give you the perfect score because dont you realise that you did not do a perfect job that worth a 100%? Didnt i send people to comment on your work, your design, your marketing skills? Listen to them and do better next time. I will not give you a 100%  this time because i want you to learn”

This is scary isnt it? I mean, i do not usually imagine this kinda conversations in me, i mean, REALLY I DONT.
I daydream yes, i daydream abt Leslie Cheung, i daydream abt nice dresses and i daydream abt nice and new hairstyles but not such conversations la!

So it isnt self imagination to me. ok la, haters gona hate, non believers gona judge, i am fine, so used to it infact. But i just have to get this off my chest because i really feel the 1 working for me…Jesus. Thank you Jesus. I really know it is you. Thank you for sending angels and opening doors, thank you for everything!

Alrighty i gtg. There is a lack in pictures in my blog nwadays and i am sorry. haha. I have not many images to upload but i will take more when i am back yea!?

Meanwhile, take care, God Bless!

p/s: to that atheist that wrote crap, please do not insult yourself by writing such thing. the bible is NOT bullshit. But i feel your blog is, because it is so rude to read about your insensitivity. If you have not experience God nor what was written, dont claim it as bullshit. You Just Havent Experience It. Yes, you were in church for vry long and you claim to be a Christian even. So what? Some people live all their life realising they havent been clear about what they have been living, they merely exist. Some people took a lifetime to figure out who they really love. So it doesnt matter how long you have been a Christian, if you havent have the chance to encounter God, prolly you are not very near to Him or whatever, then you havent encounter Him. It doesnt matter the length of you being a Christian. Calling the bible bullshit reflects badly on yourself and sorry but you sound like a bullshit yourself. Please show some respect.

Approaching . . .

I have been waiting for all my life…ok, perhaps not.

Just 3 mths plus but it is enough to kill me.

Today, the date is 11th, i cant believe i am so near to 15th!

I really do not know how i make it through these few mths.

Actually i know, i do not dare to head out, i forced myself to head out feeling a little uncomfortable. ETC.

The wait seems faster during the few mths. Now that the day is nearer, the wait seems so loooooooooong.

As much as i am so anxious and looking forward to that day with anticipation….1% of me cant believe it is finally here and is a little resistent towards it.

I am just complicated yea?

Btw, it should be Day 9 but i kinda break it so it is Day 3 again.

But i am proud of myself, the cravings is getting lesser and i believe i can do it.

Thank you Jesus.

On a side note, the colleague at work is targeting all her hatred from God-knows-where, to me. All to me.

Honestly, i am very pissed off everyday at work, having to face such person. I have to write this out because i have no avenue to..

But at the same time, i am thankful that at least i have a job. No, i am not looking down on myself, yes  i believe i am capable to get a job elsewhere but you might not know. So.. i tolerate, i endure.

I am also learning to stand up for myself ever since i met such bullies.

I am rather sad that my sister at home is giving me attitude constantly. Is lik, she do not lik communicating properly with the family.

I never experience this from her when she was a teenager, but i gt all the shits when she is 24 this year.

She might not know or she might blame me for writing this. But honestly, she do not knw the hurts she bring to Mum and me for being so cold and harsh to us.

My life is not perfect, but i start to look at small little things that bring smiles to my face, i guess thats how we manage to survive each day.

If not, life is gona b very hard.

Isnt it?

我- Leslie Cheung

 

I am what I am
我永遠都愛這樣的我 (I love ME forever)

快樂是 快樂的方式不只一種 (there are many ways to be happy)
最榮幸是 誰都是造物者的光榮 (I am honoured, i am the Creator’s proud creation*)
不用閃躲 為我喜歡的生活而活 (i do not hide and i live the way i like)

#我就是我 是顏色不一樣的煙火 ( I am what i am, i am colourful)
天空開闊 要做最堅強的泡沫 (as wide as the sky can be, i want to be strong)
我喜歡我 讓薔薇開出一種結果 ( I like ME, like a flower, i am blooming)
孤獨的沙漠裡 一樣盛放的赤裸裸 (even if i am alone in a dry dessert, i can blossom like a flower in truth)

多麼高興 在琉璃屋中快樂生活 (I am very happy to live with transparency)
對世界說 甚麼是光明磊落 (i show the world that i am transparent and what righteous is)

If you understand mandarin, or at least, able to read Chinese, is likely that you will love this song.
For people who do not love yourselves, please learn to see the beauty in yourself despite the flaws.
we are Beautiful because we are Imperfect.

Perfection is not beautiful at all.
It is artificial.
At least to me.
Imperfection like SCAR, reminds you of your past, and behold, dont let the past hinder your present.
It just remind you to be wiser.
Imperfection like SCAR, push you further to your future, to pursue more for your future.
Isnt imperfection beautiful?

.

.

 

*造物者 means Creator. For me, i refer this Creator to my God.
And indeed, i was constantly reminded that, God is very proud of His creation.
This song actually talked about that!
When i am respecting myself, i am respecting God and His creation.

The song is so spiritual, i am wondering if a Believer penned it.
Living in transparency and with joy, is 1 of the core beliefs for us children of Christ!

And of course, i love the man who is singing this song.  (thinking aloud: all my frens knew it, i think. ha)

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:27

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”
Genesis 1:31

Lord, why?

I am known to be very helpful.

But i do not understand why do i feel bitter when the people i helped in the past, refused to help me when i ask for help now.

Honestly, God, can you tell me why am i so bitter and why am i feeling this way?

If i decide to help, it should be out of my own accord and not asking for any returns right?

So why do i feel so pissed off now that when i need help from these people i helped before, i am rejected?

In family, in cellgroup, in friendships.

And pardon me Lord, why r these people so ___  ( i cant even type a decent word without the mention of a vulgarity term, very sorry).

selfish

 

Chinois chic with Weddings at The China Club | herworldPLUS

Chinois chic with Weddings at The China Club | herworldPLUS.

Chinois chic with Weddings at The China Club | herworldPLUS

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