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Archive for April, 2013

愛你

Professionalism

专业是一种态度

Basically, the sentence above means that Professionalism is an Attitude.
What you decide to do and what you portray, is a kind of attitude.

Some people are of bad attitude, some are of lazy attitude whereas some gives an attitude of warmth, some givse an attitude of confidence.

It is how you carry yourself.

Being a Professional means you are disciplined, humble, swift, witty and the list goes on.

But being Professional isnt a inborn thing. Not for me at least.

I used to have impulses to achieve this and achieve tha. But weeks later, i would stop my plannings and i slacked and i slide away from the initial dreams and goals.

After seeing alot of examples in my life, be it my Pastor (Kong Hee), my Cell group leader Eng Han, some other church leaders and members, or even the artiste that i fancy (Leslie Cheung) and the late Mr Huang Wen Yong (local actor that passed away last week) i realise that being professional really goes a long way.

You have to do more than just being yourself, and doing all the routine duties. You have to go beyond yourself and do beyond routine.

Not only do you gain a name for yourself, you gain people’s respect, you gain the trust of people and you build a legacy for yourself.

Most importantly, you can be a role model for someone.

Whenever i feel like slacking and stop exercising, stop ministering to people in need, stop working and feign illness, i will think of all these Professionals.

They are the people that faces tremendous stress from various trials and tribulations. Yet, they are able to carry on their daily duties with a smile.

Who am i to complain????

When i reflect, there were times when i feel down, things that affect me like breakups (in e past), fights (with friends, with family, with whoever la)

I would be affected greatly and would take a day off  from work, telling myself is ok to take a rest since i am feeling so down.
I am not efficient in doing anything when i am sad – I used to say.

I guess that excuse is pretty good because we want to be efficient in the things we do. errr Right?

But a real Professional continue with his or her duties despite situations.

The real professionals are people that can do, and not only do, they do well in what they are supposed to do- despite situations.

I guess i have alot to learn. I guess i need to understand how to put my mind above emotions.

I am very guilty for not being professional for a long while, and i get emotional so easily that i will even turn nasty  if someone is hinting that he/she is against my plan or not support my thinking.

Thats really not very professional isnt it?
Childish too.

#foodforthought

professionalism

I would also like to emphasize that, Professionalism applies in all kind of work.

My Mum is not holding a job that is of very high post. She part time at a Auto Mobil place. But she is by far, the most professional person that is close to me. She will never be on MC unless she is really very sick and bed ridden. She is really 1 of the very rare professional women that i know of.

Today, i thank God that i make it to work despite feeling EXTREMELY tired after being giddy and nausea yesterday night.
Well, i am not that sick to miss work in the first place but i am having Fever now, sadly.. feeling very groggy and ok, fatigue?

But, I thank God that i have tried my best to sound approachable and friendly despite being snubbed by those colleagues again- whats new.

However, i know i still have a long way to go because i am not a very consistent person. To keep this going, i have to remember that

Being Professional is an Attitude that i have to build inside me and i have to make it into a Habit

It is humility and all about being disciplined.

I guess that is what God expects of us too. Afterall, HE is the real professional when it comes to everything he does isnt it?

Thank you Jesus

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Credits: Jesus Daily

Loyalty in a Relationship

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Just a random thought and i feel like sharing. I did not intend to write about this but i was doing some work when i happened to know about someone (dont ask me who) messaging his ‘mistress’. Needless to say, i am disgusted.

Actually, in any r/s, the most important factor is Trust – they say.

I think the most important factor has to be Honesty and Transparency.

Trust comes from Honesty isnt it?

It is really sad to know that many people are having affair with someone else other than their boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives.
Whats worse is, they actually think it is ‘Okay’ or ‘Alright’ to do so.

I am not gona blog a whole chunk of logics and theories today. Thus i will save on the big reasons of how and why 1 shouldnt betray.

When 2 became 1 ( i am talking about married couples), it is actually expected that 2 separate individuals come together and joined themselves in spirit and soul as one. So if 1 is hurting or betraying another person, it is as well as hurting own-self. If you love your partner as much as you love yourself, why would you hurt him/her? You wouldnt because you guys are 1.

Maybe some people don’t understand what i am talking about. Is fine. To make it simpler, i actually think it is pointless to cheat…If you intend to b with someone. Why cheat? If you havent had enough of fun, then stay single? Simple?

But we can never stop people from being selfish isnt it? Many of those that cheat are just greedy people that are never satisfied with whatever they already have or owned. They do not want to let go of their comfort zone but they couldnt stay disciplined to that comfort zone.

In short, they are just self centered. There is nothing one can do about such people or Betrayals.

So, when Betrayals occur, what do you do? What would you do?

There are only 2 ways – Give up and move on OR Forgive and stay on.

Actually, there is another way which is rarely mentioned – Forgive and Move on.

Betrayal-4edde75f206fe

To give up and move on –  sounds like it is the easiest but it is also the hardest. To give up on a r/s that you cherished so much, a r/s that you spent time and effort for, isnt that simple as it sounds. Moreover, it is written in your Marriage Vow –  “Till Death do us part” 
If betrayal isnt anywhere near Death, does that mean a couple should not part?
Afterall, it is written in the Vow, and a Vow is a Vow because it isnt a promise.
Promises can be broken but not a vow.
Do we honor the Vow and hang on to the r/s and forget about parting then?

Now, Forgiving and staying in the r/s tt is already stained, is a huge responsibility and when i say Forgive, it means you are ready to start afresh and not think about the betrayal that once happened. No matter how tough the situation might arise in future, you can never mention about the past. You forgive with your whole heart and you bear no jealousy, no doubt, no hatred, no anger, no hurt ever…You are not to be reminded of what happened before, you are not to become paranoid because of what that happened before. You basically start everything anew.
So, is it that easy to forgive and stay on? Not for me.

The last choice that is left is to Forgive and move on..We all know that Forgiveness is the hardest. But perhaps by moving on, you will hate lesser?
Besides, have you heard that even if you forgive, you do not have to stay with that person? You simply forgive for your own sake, but you leave the person for the best of both persons.
I am not sure about you. For me, i left my ex boyfriend not because i chose to but I thank him and i thank God for the breakup because God knows how long more i might stay on. The betrayals and abuse he gave is horrendous, really not very easy for me to forgive.
To be honest, i dont even know if i still hate him, he is like a stranger to me now. But if given the chance to meet again, i rather not. LOL.
But by leaving each other, i realise that it is really easier to forgive, perhaps this is why some breakups is really meant for the best for 2 parties.
Of course, thank God we werent married, if not, i will really be in dilemma.

Because i am a Christian and Marriage is Sacred to me, i really honor what thats written and what Jesus said. Although yes, i might not be perfect and i might not have honored everything that was written, but i really try my best to. And for a Marriage, if there is no transparency and loyalty, then why bother to get married?

So, honestly, after seeing that someone msging his ‘mistress‘ just now, i do not know what to say. It seems like the whole world is doing such thing and thinking it is alright to do so.

GF told me her friend cheated on her bf with another man. That ‘another man’ is married and anticipating his 2nd child. Isnt that heartbreaking?

A friend of mine forgave his wife after his wife cheated on him and decided to accept the wife again.

More examples which i really cant be bothered to list.

The world is so warped that i cant resist asking myself  “which man (or woman) is really loyal to their partner nowadays?”

It is so sad to even think of human beings in that way right…but thats how the world is now. Sadly.

Some women i talked to, told me that they knew what was going on with their straying husbands but they chose to ‘close one eye’ – they chose  to pretend that they do not know as long as their husbands come back to them, come back  home after each scandal that happened outside.

I feel it is ridiculous but well, some people can just do that.

Some men i spoke to, told me that there will be no excuse to betrayals and thus they will chose to divorce or break up with their partner no matter what. They added “i am a man, i have my pride”
Now, thats how fuck up most men are, their pride and ego is everything. I am not condemning all the men here ok, i am just saying most or some of the men that i knew of. Do you dare to tell me you have never hear that from a man before?

Why should a man be expected to fool around and be looked up to and why is it when a woman do the same thing, they are being labelled as sluts?

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I dont know about you but i guess i wouldnt pretend that i dont know anything because that isnt me. But if i ever break up with someone over betrayal issue, it wouldnt be because of my pride. It would most prolly means i cant go on anymore and going on will be painful and once Trust is gone, everything will just go downhill. I cant say i will definitely forgive but i will try, but to stay on in the r/s, it is impossible.

Thus i think i can never be married right now because i still cant honor “till Death do us Part”, because in my world, i honor “till Betrayals do us Part”. I do not expect my partner to be flawless, i expect my r/s to be flawless.

And when i say “Flawless”, it doesnt mean that the r/s is full of roses, choc and sweet moments without argument or whatnot. Flawless to me, simply means – ZERO betrayal.

Sounds easy but it is really not easy in the society now. Being in a world full of temptations, having advance technology that help speed up the process of getting in touch with your temptations, one can really stray easily without even realising.
(In the past, you need a phone to page your fling and your fling has to call you back and all. Now, you just need to wechat or whatsapp FOR FREE somemore, and thats all! Hassle Free and easy to manage, just delete the message history. Or if you like, you can even find some potential whorish looking women that looks like they are out for fun, or some desperate dudes that are hunger for sex while the wife is expecting over FB. All you need to do is ‘POKE’, FB poke i mean. But it doesnt take long for that FB poke to turn into a real ‘poke’)

Actually…I do not know why people still believe in True Love.  (opps, did alot of you just roll your eyes at this sentence? lol)

Okok, i do believe that True Love might still exist in some corners of this earth, but i cant help being skeptical.

But anyway. Tts not the point. lol.

So…what do you think you would do if your partner cheats on you?

Trust and Honesty, do you expect these as basic of the r/s or are they bonuses in a r/s?

And lastly, to all Adulterers and Betrayers, this verse is for you.
Dont worry, it isnt hard to understand and you need not be a Christian to understand.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Matthew 7:12

Feel free to email me to share if you have anything to share! my mailbox is valenciafaithz.z@gmail.com 🙂

Vdates 3rd week April 2013

IMG_20130420_8Hi^

Its another week and i am seriously dreading the coming month. I have no mood to celebrate my Bday and i dont even like the idea of my Bday approaching that fast.

Totally hated it and am still dreading it. I know i shouldnt but i cant help it. My Bday seems to be shitty every year.

Anw, first and foremost, i feel so sorry for the loss of  one of the local actors. He passed away last Sat due to lymphoma cancer.
I am not a big fan of local entertainment/ mediacorp shows or ‘celebs’. Well i just watch wadever is on the tv since the tv is already on most of the time when i return home from work, daily.

But this actor can really act, and he does not possess that arrogant aura that most of the local celebs do. In other words, he is rather humble as he appears.

It is the loss of Singapore’s media scene.

hwy

Rip Mr Huang. You will be missed. 

Anyway, there are too many sad news recently. I guess the world is turning sadder day by day. Nobody want to read or hear about the news nowadays because it is filled with too much sadness and negative stuffs. What makes it worse is the ignorant comments coming from the netizens.

There are bombings, serious rape cases, stupid adultery scandals, natural disasters, wars and whatnot.

It is really depressing to read about the news now.

I have not much to update too.

I am not really happy but i aint that depressed now… it is getting better for me, i guess.

While i am still not very motivated for the plan i had but i know i have to face it someday unless i quit.

I am giving myself a break till May. Will officially get really busy when May comes. Time really flies isnt it. Before we knw it, it is already almost half a year of 2013.

😦

Anw, just to touch on the sermon of Mary Magdalene (i mentioned in my previous blogpost)..

I rem i was still in a very depressed state and i just suddenly decided to read some biblical material/ books. I do not usually like to read, i rather listen to sermons most of the time.
Thus i dont usually pick up those stack of books on my desk.

That particular night…i picked up 1 booklet sent by RBC Ministries .
Previously, Christina (my CG mate) registered for me and got them to send me materials regularly.
I was really guilty of not reading them because i am lazy… 😦

So anw, that night before i read the booklet, i actually said a short prayer and i mentioned “Jesus, i do not know if you are around. I know you are real, but i do doubt your existence whenever i am so depressed…i am guilty of that but if U are around, will you please give me a sign?”

Then i went to my bed, still tearing, holding a booklet by RBC – it is about Mary Magdalene.

I was reading by myself and my Mum came in.

She on her daily podcast (i seriously think God is very good to my Mum. She was playing with her radio on her hp previously and she just randomly chance upon this FM channel that gives sermons daily in mandarin) and she began to listen.
I do not usually listen to her podcast as it is in Mandarin, i am more used to listen to English ones but i do listen with her sometimes.
She might not understand what she is listening but she enjoys listening and sometimes she would ask me. I am so happy for her.

So that night, she came in with her podcast and i read my material…I never talk to anyone in the family after the fight with my sis, thus i just do my own stuff while she does hers.

As i was reading this in my mind in English “Jesus chased 7 demons out of Mary Magdalene and the name of this lady was mentioned in the bible for more than 12 times…”
Mum’s podcast was speaking the EXACT WORDS IN MANDARIN!!! OMG.

I was so shocked, i mean..what are the chances!??!

I dont usually listen to her podcast and i dont usually read the books sent by RBC…
But on that particular depressing night, after i made that tiny prayer… I actually experienced this very rare and weird, yet peaceful encounter!

 I do not know how to describe but it is very amazing. Some might tell me it is just coincidence but i really do not think it is so coincidental…Somehow, something in me tells me that Jesus gave me this sign that HE is there.

I feel peaceful and i fell asleep with Peace in me, for the 1st time after the fight broke out between Sis and me in the family.

As i type this now, i can still feel the goosebumps… Just imagine! Reading and listening the same thing altogether, in 2 different languages and coming from 2 different sources, in the same room.

It is very creepy haha but it is really very miraculous.

Praise my Lord for the little surprise 🙂

Anw, just fyi, after reading, i actually realise that alot of people including myself, mistaken Mary Magdalene as the prostitute, or the woman that committed adultery in the bible. She is actually NOT and there is no concrete evidence that she worked as a prostitute. 

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But i have to say, the devil isnt some1 that gives up easily too. I was disturbed in the morning, when i was praying, there is this constant voice (not literally in my ear but more like it is speaking in my head. I cant tell if it is psychological on my part but i noe the uneasy feeling in me) that ask me why am i praying and speaking to me telling me  that it is of no use even if i pray.

The feeling was very uneasy and i rem feeling very tired and angry…

I never stop praying though and i even play the worship Songs sang by Sun and i tried to keep myself calm while listening and praying at the same time.

The uneasy feeling only went away after a while…

For non believers, you might be skeptical because i would be too. Even the believers might find it hard to believe but all that i share here is true.
I just thought of sharing and hopefully this encourages you that God is always with you, no matter what you are going through.

It is hard for me because i realise that everytime i minister to people in need, or even when i am just assuring friends and readers in my blog that God is around us, something not so nice wud happen to me, and i know perfectly well that it is from the evil and NOT from God.

I know that my assurance will bite back at me each time but i believe my God is larger than the world’s problem, He will not leave me nor shortchange me.

As i am typing now, situation at home still did not change and it is as bad as it can be and thus i m not looking forward to my Bday. I always thought it will be nice to celebrate with my family, with fun and joy… but looking at it now, it most probably wont happen already.

But by Faith, i am still hoping for the best, even if it doesnt happen on my Bday this year, hopefully things will turn out better soon.

I still believe that God will turn every situation around that is meant to break me.
I still believe that HE will use every situation to bring out the best of me, for me.
I still believe whatever HE allows is for the Best final end result and the process is not important.

Besides, they say that before a great blessing come pass, there will be trials..isnt it?

Frankly, my Christian journey is full of ups and downs. There are also a huge number of skeptics in my life, be it close friends or just friends…
I have people questioning my Faith, i have myself questioning my own Faith, i have people questioning my character and my thinking…

Sometimes it is tiring for me. I am a Christian and that doesnt mean i am perfect, it just means that i am so well aware that i am imperfect and thats why i humble myself and i allow God to work in me. I might fail now and then but i shouldnt be judged as if i am Jesus Christ Himself… Instead, i hope you can see what makes me better and who actually help me along the way. I am trying my best to be good but sometimes i fail, and i fail really hard. Do you know that my best is nothing compared to God’s? Thus i am trying to let God take over, it is easier said than done actually.

I always say i should stay happy no matter who say or does what to me. In this world, too many people are teaching you what to do and what not to do.

I have people telling me “hey you should do this and you shouldnt do that”, i have people saying that “how come u like urself so much that u have to post pictures of urself all the time?”, “how cme u look better in pictures?” , “how come you are not as rich as compared to others in your church?” “how come you still lose your temper, you are a Christian and you shouldnt be angry”, “how come u r not dating? u stay at home everyday, how to get a bf like that? you should go out more!”….. SERIOUSLY.

Worse, a hairstylist who is apparently my church friend even say that i shouldnt cut my hair short because i am not skinny.
Yes, i am not skinny, i am not super slim. I am voluptuous but i am Not fat. But in ignorant Asians’ eyes, a UK8 or 10 is already Darn fat.

So, why do these people care so much? Do they really care or do they just wana talk bad about you?

Look, why cant i upload pics of myself? I like to!

Look, why cant my pics look better than my real? I dont look that bad in real please, my pics are not photo shopped and i am not admitting that i use photoshop because i do not know how.
They are filtered like everyone else’s, i did make use of apps to make them look better by adjusting lightings & colors and i admit that i use a new software now  (on my android)  to make the skin look smoother, the chin sharper.
So? Every gal does  that too, so why are u faulting me?
I like what i see and i do not change the entire picture to be another person. You can still recognize me from the pictures isnt it? NO?

Look, why cant i have short hair just because i am not model-thin? So curvy gals should always have long hair to cover the face? I dont get it.

Look, why cant i be angry? It doesnt mean i am a robot with no feelings just because i am a Christian!?

The world is madness. People are not looking at themselves but they are looking at others and criticizing others.

It is easy to say “Ignore others, just do everything with conscience and with integrity and feel happy” but how many can actually do that and not feel affected?

It is really not easy to live with critical people and the world will really be better if people stop teaching others what to do.
But it wont happen so we have to always adjust ourselves. Sadly.

Well, i thought of dying so many times before. (of course my problems are more than what i typed up there lah. Obviously i wont want to die just because people’s critisize me of not being skinny right?!)
But honestly, if Dying is the solution, the whole world should be Dead long ago.

We are all waiting and anticipating that ray of light each and every day isnt it?

So, thats the life i am living. Everyday. I am not any better than any of you here. Just in case people think that i am living very well and happy and  thus i can post all the positive and happy posts. I did not reveal my sadness previously, but that doesnt mean i am not sad ok. I am sad.

But i guess i am learning to be happier, everyday.

🙂

I believe God will not shortchange me, maybe there is still hope in me. Haha.

Even if is 1% of hope. I hang on to it…I hope that you are hanging on to Hope too. For you will not know what tomorrow brings.

Ok, i dont know why it turns a little emotional now.. haha, so i better stop!

On a side note, i am loving my skin now. Havent been so perfect for quite sometime! Thanks to Hada LaBo!

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Ok, this is Confirmed non edited/ non filtered – bare skin under normal lightings.
Get that bottle of Hada Labo and try out now!

IMG_20130421_1This is obviously filtered.

Gf is complaining to me now over wechat, haha. I am blessed to have cute and awesome friends. Though not alot but i am thankful for real friends and a few of them is enough 🙂 And i miss the 4 babies of Gf!

I cant wait to go back to church, head out with gf, 7 and Gary soon, hurhur.

Today is Monday, arghh. 4 more days to weekend and i seriously cant wait. What makes the wait even more miserable and unbearable is my injured leg. Guess i overstretched it and i am kinda crippling now. I hope it gets better so that i can go jog soon 😦

IMG_20130420_1 IMG_20130418_1I am loving my new exercise gear in neon colors! 😀

IMG_20130420_18Mum and me eating infamous Tao Huey at Granny’s.

As i said, i have nothing much to update now so i shall stop here. Till e next post! God Bless.

Some Pictures (ok, is ALOT) of my Hair now, i love the Purple streaks (and some of them turned pink now)

I might get rid of them soon? Still deciding if i should do another color, so i better showcase them now. haha.

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Loves
ValliezLesley

500 days of New Life

500 Days.

& lesser.

 approx 500 days for me to be completely bleached. 

a complete cleansed heart.

no memories at all

only realise it till i see it

i am very relieved and very very thankful 

extremely happy for myself

🙂


From e bottom of my heart, Thank you God. Jesus. CHC. Pastor Kong, Sun Ho, Eng Han & Janet, Mum & Sis, BBG211, Seven, Mel, Gary.

Thank you, Valencia.

Thats right, i thank you for being so strong despite the really bad shits you went through and standing stronger than ever.

I love you.

Happy Friday

imagespf
Because it is Friday, i do not want to end my last blogpost in an ugly way. so….

 

To You, You and You!

i honestly do not understand why some people can lie through their teeth.

i really do not know why r some guys so thick skin to keep messaging and expecting a reply.

i frankly feel disgusted when these kinda guys message a dozens of gals and trying their luck with each and everyone at the same time.

i sincerely wish you and you and you can back off and STOP messaging me like i am “1 of those fruits you choose in the market”

i therefore hope you can …..get lost?

Please i beg.

p/s i am so tempted to list the names here. horrible. lol. btw, if you see me not replying you, please is not hard to understand y. so dont ask already. eww

Right or Wrong?

Hi.

Actually, i never want to touch on such topic as it is really sensitive. Ok, perhaps not sensitive but it is not really worth debating over- because it will take ages and there will not be any conclusion anyway.
It is the usual thing – different perspectives from different individuals.

We should respect each other,i agree with that. We should respect each other’s choices and thinkings.
So instead of arguing our own perspective through, perhaps we should let it go and stop teaching others what to do and what not to do.

Take for example, Xiaxue and her pregnancy and her baby. I see so many people teaching her what to do and what not to do during her pregnancy.
I was not offended because i do not even know her personally. I was not really angry but i was disturbed when these people started to wana take control of her pregnancy and life. I was questioning how Genuine were these people, do they truly care for her or were they just being 1 of those that want to get involved in everything, even with the person they do not fancy, even with the blogger they detest?

Yea, human should not tell each other what they should or shouldnt do. But sometimes, genuine advises don’t hurt at all.

SO ENOUGH OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL TALKS and back to what i really want to say!

Anyway, why i am writing about this is because i was pissed this morning.
Yes, i get irritated rather easily. Thus i went to take a breather and calm myself down before i write this. LOL

Ok, relax, it isnt something so serious anyway. Hurhur.

Let just say, i have a friend name B.

I shall call him B because his gf is some lunatic stalker freak -i think. (sorry for that name because you will find out later)

I do not want to be called a r/s wrecker again you see. (just in case)

Ok, B sent me flowers out of friendship and to cut the long story short, his crazy gf found out from i dont know where and he questioned me about it.

I was lik WTF?

Pardon my French.

But it was really WTF to me… i mean, i do not appreciate being questioned about if i went to tell the gf about the flowers.
This is plain ridiculous.

Why?

BECAUSE

1) if you are game enough to send flowers to other women other than your gf, then u r prepared for any questionings from the gf right?

AND THAT SHOULDNT BE MY PROBLEM???

2) why would i go and tell the gf because i didnt even have the intention to break or wreck up any r/s.
Especially Not yours for sure. I am not that desperate for a r/s, a man, or YOU? (not a question, it is a statement)

In Fact, i have never thought of us in that way.

Ok, i admit the things i said and did might have misleading effects, shrugs.

But whatever.

Oh ok, Sorry.

I was just pissed the other time, for being questioned if i went to tell the gf. Even if i really like you and went to tell your gf, you dont freaking question me like that. Because i shouldnt be the one carrying the burden of this ‘problem’ and you should be the one.
Yes, sorry to say that. I know it is a bit unfair to Men but this is how it works what. If a Man cant even account and stand up for what he did, what kinda Guniang is that?
Is like, you heard of ‘Gentleman’ and not ‘Gentlewoman’ right?

But thank God i did not do such despicable act if not i wouldnt respect myself either.  But I wouldnt even do that even if you are Brad Pitt lah.

#Justsaying
Hope i am understood.

Then, we are cool with things again because he apologized. I am ok to let matter rest.

We chatted and randomly, although not surprisingly, i saw how many sleazy FB pages and Weibo pages he followed or liked.
I dont mean to stalk  but it shows up lah. Look, it is Internet, you can see who you befriend and what pages you like right?

(I have alot of guy friends who did that and i am used to seeing such but  honestly, i am not trying to say i am free of lust or anything but i just dont go around liking pictures of Penises. :/ )

Yes, i mentioned that alot of my guy friends go around liking those sleazy FB pages and websites that shows boobs, almost naked or naked photos of all kinds – thais, chinese, japs, wadever nationality.

Like what kind? You ask me.

Here it is- an example:

disgustingsorry that i kinda covered up some parts.
It isnt gross on bed if you are doing it with your gf lah, but it is gross to put it here because i am not hosting a Porn site lah. -_-

I wouldnt judge and say they are bad guys but for sure, i definitely wouldnt have a good impression on someone lidat or consider dating someone lidat.

I know i know i know that it is guys or even human nature to look at sexy and intimidating sleazy pictures, i sometimes have that urge to take a 2nd look at pictures of long legs and cleavages too – well we cant deny a woman’s shape is 1 of the most amazing creations ever, Right?

But liking such pictures, websites, contents and FB pages – SO FREQUENTLY and it turn into an addiction and habit…is a little too much isnt it?

Not to mention, it is abit degrading.

I mean, why would one need to be so hooked on such pornographic stuff? It is ok to look, but to look at them on a regular basis like you are addicted to it? Not sure if that is Normal, yes it is def Common but Common doesnt means Normal. :/

Actually… Lust and Addiction doesnt necessary has to be linked to sex nor drugs.

Lust can be anything, like a gal can actually lust over Chanel.

You know what i mean? And Lust is actually very unhealthy.
Thus i wud say also, that any brand suckers are also very unhealthy.
In my opinion.

Ok anw, back to where i stopped off.  B actually told me that it is a virtue to be honest and open about such addiction.

I AM SPEECHLESS.

How can doing something so low, be a virtue??? Whats more is, you have a GF  for goodness sake?!

I was very pissed by such lame excuses for such cheap doings but is fine, i mean, i am disgusted because of the excuses and lameness.
But as i am nobody but a friend, i have no special/ romantic liking towards this friend, it is fine. Not like i am the wife or what right.

I feel sad for the gf though.

Then, today..we were talking about some silly gossip- Aaron Kwok splitting with his beau of 7 years.

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It is really silly because nobody wud bother much about these celebs break ups. I am just being the usual me, bored and wanted to just read about such gossips.

So i randomly told him that Aaron Kwok is quite a jerk for being irresponsible, errr i dont like that ex gf of his anyway but i just find him irresponsible lah – as a man.
But i do like Aaron’s face. LOL

He spoke up for Aaron Kwok  as usual, because apparently Aaron Kwok is his idol or something.

I expected it but i didnt really expect someone to be so oblivious  just because the person who committed the irresponsible act is a Man, and an idol.

Look, why did i say that Aaron Kwok is irresponsible is because i feel that any man who wana be serious with his gf would have married or proposed sometime after they have dated. Of course, time frame is not the most important issue in a r/s.
Some people get married after 2 mths of dating, some take 10 over years. But honestly, anything above 3 years is alittle too long to me.

I am not sure about you, but the really responsible men i met or know, cant wait to marry the gal once they are financially stable, and emotionally stable.
And that dont really take 7 long years.

Sure, i did said that time isnt the most important issue in a r/s but frankly, how many 7 years can a gal holds?
Even if she doesnt mind (which i doubt. yes, such gals exist but what are the chances- maybe 2 out of 10?)
7 years of youth, from a gal who is in her prime, in her twenties till now…i think the gal is in her 30s :/
All given to a man and this man has never given her any status by acknowledging her as his gf.

Thats worse than not proposing lah.

and thats the irresponsible part i am referring.

I seriously find that its a tad too much and yes he happens to be a celeb but we all know he is almost 50 and i dont think he needs to ‘maintain’ any image (if he has any except being a playboy)
I am sure the fans or whoever that are concern will be happy for him if he can settle down right?

So whats the problem? Why didnt he admit his r/s with this gal despite many photos taken.
So is she a fling or what?
Someone that he isnt proud to even acknowlege or what?

Ok, in case you think  that i am being too uptight about Celebs gossips…i nida emphasize, i am talking more of the r/s issue and not so much on Aaron Kwok and his Ex here.

My point is, despite any happenings (whether the gal is good or not, whether she wants marriage or not, whether she is a bitch or not), if you are still dating her after almost a decade (a decade is 10 years, so 7 years is…ok lah, almost a decade what) then you should at least admit her as your gf or have plans to marry her right?

If she is a bitch and she isnt worth marrying or if you are not sure if she is the 1, u shld just break off right? So you wouldnt be wasting her time and your own time right?

I feel it is a Man’s responsibility to be able to give sense of security to the woman he loves or wants.
Lets not look at this case as ‘Aaron Kwok’ the celeb.
If it is just a normal man, what other excuses would 1 have? (but as i mentioned before, it doesnt matter if he is a celeb or not because he is already outdated and nobody cares about his celeb status now because he isnt BigBang or Justin Bieber and i dun think it is wrong for me to say that people wud rather see or hear that he settle dwn than breaking another gal’s heart AGAIN)

So B was saying that i do not know what went wrong in the r/s and i shouldnt judge and all.

Sure.

I shouldnt judge but i aint saying what the others are saying of Aaron, I aint saying that he is a jerk because he sleeps around or because he is known to be a flirt and all.

My point here is, no matter who, celeb or not, a Man should be responsible and should be able to acknowledge the gf (he has never do so even  after 7years) and thats the only right thing to do, as a Man (despite status) Isnt it?

Well, he argued with me and pulling all the other philandering Male celebs in and blaming them, digging their scandals and all.

I was lik What The Heck?

I aint arguing here as a Fan leh, i am stating the facts about Irresponsible Men!?

Ok, so i cant be bothered to go on anymore.

Check this out, this is ridiculous:

B: maybe he wanted to marry her already leh?

I was like… why am i wasting my time talking abt this shitty piece of news with someone like B?

Then i remembered : i aint talking abt Aaron Kwok, i am in fact talking abt the responsibiliy of a Man lah!

And i was kinda pissed because i was putting myself in the gal’s shoes. I think if i have a daughter and my daughter is dating some1 for 7 years but the guy has no intention of marrying her, i will ask her to wake up her idea.
But! But if she didnt want to get married, i will prolly ask why and feel upset inside me (LOL) and perhaps just let her be…

BUT IF THE GUY SHE IS DATING DID NOT WANT TO OPENLY ADMIT THAT SHE IS HIS GF FOR 7 YEARS….i think i might disown her because i cant believe i will have sucha silly daughter! Haha. Kidding but i will really be very upset for her.

So, honestly, i wonder how B will feel if this happen to his daughter…like dating a irresponsible guy who refuses to acknowledge her as gf.

But as expected, we cudnt come to an agreement on this ‘ A MAN’s Responsiblity” issue. So we kinda stop talking.

Frankly, it is not  B i am complaining. I know everyone has their own thinking and i cant make every1 tinks like me.
But if the guy friends around me, if my dates, if my co workers think and behaves like B, i am screwed, i will cry.

1stly, i cant appreciate Men lusting over sleazy stuff online OPENLY (you may lah, i mean, you are an adult so you def have the right to make choices ma) but i dont like such men lah.

(Oh, even worse for guys who are attached. I know there are plenty. But i think there is still a small group of Men in the world that doesnt do such stuff lah. )
It reflects alot on a Guy i would say.
Imagine seeing Obama’s fb being linked to various sleazy pages…Omg Gross. dont even want to think about it.

These overly lustful men can also say they wont like a petty pricky woman like me too, i am fine leh.

Yes, some do it in the dark, thats worse. Definitely.

Integrity is doing something right even in the dark. So it will be best if a guy do not lust over such stuff so much, YES EVERYONE IS LUSTFUL I KNOW but you do not have to make it an addiction or habit right!
(is like, everyone likes fried chicken but do you eat it daily just because you like it? No what, you wud think of your weight, your shape, and most importantly- your health what! No?)

So, if you really cant be healthy and you need to …you know…look at boobs and feel high behind that keyboard, FINE.
But at least be discreet lah. 
I am not teaching Men to be sneaky ok, but i really dont get it why some men can feel no shame and say it is a virtue to be open about it.
Need to be proud of being open about seeing naked women bodies daily meh???

I cant appreciate people (Men especially) making excuses for their wrongdoings. Sure, i do that too, sometimes.
Every human err and i agree that nobody should judge anyone about that.

But honestly, making excuses for being irresponsible is really not sexy lah. Especially when a Man does that, it is so so not appealing.
Not Macho at all.

Ok, i aint a perfect woman, and i know i shouldnt even judge or discriminate horny and irresponsible men…LOL…but i just cant help it but write what i feel here. Because i am triggered to.
I believe almost every woman would feel the same too.

Of course, i admit that there are irritating things that women do that will piss a man off too. I cant deny that at all.
Thus we are all not perfect.

But….. But… But….What i wrote above is really….cant explain it, just something from me that i wana pen my views on…

Can’t help it if you dont like what you read.

Conclusion is…there isnt Right nor Wrong but whatever a person does, determines his or her character value.

How much are you worth then?

Lana Del Rey – Serial Killer

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