Archive for April, 2013
Basically, the sentence above means that Professionalism is an Attitude.
What you decide to do and what you portray, is a kind of attitude.
Some people are of bad attitude, some are of lazy attitude whereas some gives an attitude of warmth, some givse an attitude of confidence.
It is how you carry yourself.
Being a Professional means you are disciplined, humble, swift, witty and the list goes on.
But being Professional isnt a inborn thing. Not for me at least.
I used to have impulses to achieve this and achieve tha. But weeks later, i would stop my plannings and i slacked and i slide away from the initial dreams and goals.
After seeing alot of examples in my life, be it my Pastor (Kong Hee), my Cell group leader Eng Han, some other church leaders and members, or even the artiste that i fancy (Leslie Cheung) and the late Mr Huang Wen Yong (local actor that passed away last week) i realise that being professional really goes a long way.
You have to do more than just being yourself, and doing all the routine duties. You have to go beyond yourself and do beyond routine.
Not only do you gain a name for yourself, you gain people’s respect, you gain the trust of people and you build a legacy for yourself.
Most importantly, you can be a role model for someone.
Whenever i feel like slacking and stop exercising, stop ministering to people in need, stop working and feign illness, i will think of all these Professionals.
They are the people that faces tremendous stress from various trials and tribulations. Yet, they are able to carry on their daily duties with a smile.
Who am i to complain????
When i reflect, there were times when i feel down, things that affect me like breakups (in e past), fights (with friends, with family, with whoever la)
I would be affected greatly and would take a day off from work, telling myself is ok to take a rest since i am feeling so down.
I am not efficient in doing anything when i am sad – I used to say.
I guess that excuse is pretty good because we want to be efficient in the things we do. errr Right?
But a real Professional continue with his or her duties despite situations.
The real professionals are people that can do, and not only do, they do well in what they are supposed to do- despite situations.
I guess i have alot to learn. I guess i need to understand how to put my mind above emotions.
I am very guilty for not being professional for a long while, and i get emotional so easily that i will even turn nasty if someone is hinting that he/she is against my plan or not support my thinking.
Thats really not very professional isnt it?
I would also like to emphasize that, Professionalism applies in all kind of work.
My Mum is not holding a job that is of very high post. She part time at a Auto Mobil place. But she is by far, the most professional person that is close to me. She will never be on MC unless she is really very sick and bed ridden. She is really 1 of the very rare professional women that i know of.
Today, i thank God that i make it to work despite feeling EXTREMELY tired after being giddy and nausea yesterday night.
Well, i am not that sick to miss work in the first place but i am having Fever now, sadly.. feeling very groggy and ok, fatigue?
But, I thank God that i have tried my best to sound approachable and friendly despite being snubbed by those colleagues again- whats new.
However, i know i still have a long way to go because i am not a very consistent person. To keep this going, i have to remember that
Being Professional is an Attitude that i have to build inside me and i have to make it into a Habit
It is humility and all about being disciplined.
I guess that is what God expects of us too. Afterall, HE is the real professional when it comes to everything he does isnt it?
Just a random thought and i feel like sharing. I did not intend to write about this but i was doing some work when i happened to know about someone (dont ask me who) messaging his ‘mistress’. Needless to say, i am disgusted.
Actually, in any r/s, the most important factor is Trust – they say.
I think the most important factor has to be Honesty and Transparency.
Trust comes from Honesty isnt it?
It is really sad to know that many people are having affair with someone else other than their boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives.
Whats worse is, they actually think it is ‘Okay’ or ‘Alright’ to do so.
I am not gona blog a whole chunk of logics and theories today. Thus i will save on the big reasons of how and why 1 shouldnt betray.
When 2 became 1 ( i am talking about married couples), it is actually expected that 2 separate individuals come together and joined themselves in spirit and soul as one. So if 1 is hurting or betraying another person, it is as well as hurting own-self. If you love your partner as much as you love yourself, why would you hurt him/her? You wouldnt because you guys are 1.
Maybe some people don’t understand what i am talking about. Is fine. To make it simpler, i actually think it is pointless to cheat…If you intend to b with someone. Why cheat? If you havent had enough of fun, then stay single? Simple?
But we can never stop people from being selfish isnt it? Many of those that cheat are just greedy people that are never satisfied with whatever they already have or owned. They do not want to let go of their comfort zone but they couldnt stay disciplined to that comfort zone.
In short, they are just self centered. There is nothing one can do about such people or Betrayals.
So, when Betrayals occur, what do you do? What would you do?
There are only 2 ways – Give up and move on OR Forgive and stay on.
Actually, there is another way which is rarely mentioned – Forgive and Move on.
To give up and move on – sounds like it is the easiest but it is also the hardest. To give up on a r/s that you cherished so much, a r/s that you spent time and effort for, isnt that simple as it sounds. Moreover, it is written in your Marriage Vow – “Till Death do us part”
If betrayal isnt anywhere near Death, does that mean a couple should not part?
Afterall, it is written in the Vow, and a Vow is a Vow because it isnt a promise.
Promises can be broken but not a vow.
Do we honor the Vow and hang on to the r/s and forget about parting then?
Now, Forgiving and staying in the r/s tt is already stained, is a huge responsibility and when i say Forgive, it means you are ready to start afresh and not think about the betrayal that once happened. No matter how tough the situation might arise in future, you can never mention about the past. You forgive with your whole heart and you bear no jealousy, no doubt, no hatred, no anger, no hurt ever…You are not to be reminded of what happened before, you are not to become paranoid because of what that happened before. You basically start everything anew.
So, is it that easy to forgive and stay on? Not for me.
The last choice that is left is to Forgive and move on..We all know that Forgiveness is the hardest. But perhaps by moving on, you will hate lesser?
Besides, have you heard that even if you forgive, you do not have to stay with that person? You simply forgive for your own sake, but you leave the person for the best of both persons.
I am not sure about you. For me, i left my ex boyfriend not because i chose to but I thank him and i thank God for the breakup because God knows how long more i might stay on. The betrayals and abuse he gave is horrendous, really not very easy for me to forgive.
To be honest, i dont even know if i still hate him, he is like a stranger to me now. But if given the chance to meet again, i rather not. LOL.
But by leaving each other, i realise that it is really easier to forgive, perhaps this is why some breakups is really meant for the best for 2 parties.
Of course, thank God we werent married, if not, i will really be in dilemma.
Because i am a Christian and Marriage is Sacred to me, i really honor what thats written and what Jesus said. Although yes, i might not be perfect and i might not have honored everything that was written, but i really try my best to. And for a Marriage, if there is no transparency and loyalty, then why bother to get married?
So, honestly, after seeing that someone msging his ‘mistress‘ just now, i do not know what to say. It seems like the whole world is doing such thing and thinking it is alright to do so.
GF told me her friend cheated on her bf with another man. That ‘another man’ is married and anticipating his 2nd child. Isnt that heartbreaking?
A friend of mine forgave his wife after his wife cheated on him and decided to accept the wife again.
More examples which i really cant be bothered to list.
The world is so warped that i cant resist asking myself “which man (or woman) is really loyal to their partner nowadays?”
It is so sad to even think of human beings in that way right…but thats how the world is now. Sadly.
Some women i talked to, told me that they knew what was going on with their straying husbands but they chose to ‘close one eye’ – they chose to pretend that they do not know as long as their husbands come back to them, come back home after each scandal that happened outside.
I feel it is ridiculous but well, some people can just do that.
Some men i spoke to, told me that there will be no excuse to betrayals and thus they will chose to divorce or break up with their partner no matter what. They added “i am a man, i have my pride”
Now, thats how fuck up most men are, their pride and ego is everything. I am not condemning all the men here ok, i am just saying most or some of the men that i knew of. Do you dare to tell me you have never hear that from a man before?
Why should a man be expected to fool around and be looked up to and why is it when a woman do the same thing, they are being labelled as sluts?
I dont know about you but i guess i wouldnt pretend that i dont know anything because that isnt me. But if i ever break up with someone over betrayal issue, it wouldnt be because of my pride. It would most prolly means i cant go on anymore and going on will be painful and once Trust is gone, everything will just go downhill. I cant say i will definitely forgive but i will try, but to stay on in the r/s, it is impossible.
Thus i think i can never be married right now because i still cant honor “till Death do us Part”, because in my world, i honor “till Betrayals do us Part”. I do not expect my partner to be flawless, i expect my r/s to be flawless.
And when i say “Flawless”, it doesnt mean that the r/s is full of roses, choc and sweet moments without argument or whatnot. Flawless to me, simply means – ZERO betrayal.
Sounds easy but it is really not easy in the society now. Being in a world full of temptations, having advance technology that help speed up the process of getting in touch with your temptations, one can really stray easily without even realising.
(In the past, you need a phone to page your fling and your fling has to call you back and all. Now, you just need to wechat or whatsapp FOR FREE somemore, and thats all! Hassle Free and easy to manage, just delete the message history. Or if you like, you can even find some potential whorish looking women that looks like they are out for fun, or some desperate dudes that are hunger for sex while the wife is expecting over FB. All you need to do is ‘POKE’, FB poke i mean. But it doesnt take long for that FB poke to turn into a real ‘poke’)
Actually…I do not know why people still believe in True Love. (opps, did alot of you just roll your eyes at this sentence? lol)
Okok, i do believe that True Love might still exist in some corners of this earth, but i cant help being skeptical.
But anyway. Tts not the point. lol.
So…what do you think you would do if your partner cheats on you?
Trust and Honesty, do you expect these as basic of the r/s or are they bonuses in a r/s?
And lastly, to all Adulterers and Betrayers, this verse is for you.
Dont worry, it isnt hard to understand and you need not be a Christian to understand.
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Matthew 7:12
Feel free to email me to share if you have anything to share! my mailbox is firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂
Its another week and i am seriously dreading the coming month. I have no mood to celebrate my Bday and i dont even like the idea of my Bday approaching that fast.
Totally hated it and am still dreading it. I know i shouldnt but i cant help it. My Bday seems to be shitty every year.
Anw, first and foremost, i feel so sorry for the loss of one of the local actors. He passed away last Sat due to lymphoma cancer.
I am not a big fan of local entertainment/ mediacorp shows or ‘celebs’. Well i just watch wadever is on the tv since the tv is already on most of the time when i return home from work, daily.
But this actor can really act, and he does not possess that arrogant aura that most of the local celebs do. In other words, he is rather humble as he appears.
It is the loss of Singapore’s media scene.
Rip Mr Huang. You will be missed.
Anyway, there are too many sad news recently. I guess the world is turning sadder day by day. Nobody want to read or hear about the news nowadays because it is filled with too much sadness and negative stuffs. What makes it worse is the ignorant comments coming from the netizens.
There are bombings, serious rape cases, stupid adultery scandals, natural disasters, wars and whatnot.
It is really depressing to read about the news now.
I have not much to update too.
I am not really happy but i aint that depressed now… it is getting better for me, i guess.
While i am still not very motivated for the plan i had but i know i have to face it someday unless i quit.
I am giving myself a break till May. Will officially get really busy when May comes. Time really flies isnt it. Before we knw it, it is already almost half a year of 2013.
Anw, just to touch on the sermon of Mary Magdalene (i mentioned in my previous blogpost)..
I rem i was still in a very depressed state and i just suddenly decided to read some biblical material/ books. I do not usually like to read, i rather listen to sermons most of the time.
Thus i dont usually pick up those stack of books on my desk.
That particular night…i picked up 1 booklet sent by RBC Ministries .
Previously, Christina (my CG mate) registered for me and got them to send me materials regularly.
I was really guilty of not reading them because i am lazy… 😦
So anw, that night before i read the booklet, i actually said a short prayer and i mentioned “Jesus, i do not know if you are around. I know you are real, but i do doubt your existence whenever i am so depressed…i am guilty of that but if U are around, will you please give me a sign?”
Then i went to my bed, still tearing, holding a booklet by RBC – it is about Mary Magdalene.
I was reading by myself and my Mum came in.
She on her daily podcast (i seriously think God is very good to my Mum. She was playing with her radio on her hp previously and she just randomly chance upon this FM channel that gives sermons daily in mandarin) and she began to listen.
I do not usually listen to her podcast as it is in Mandarin, i am more used to listen to English ones but i do listen with her sometimes.
She might not understand what she is listening but she enjoys listening and sometimes she would ask me. I am so happy for her.
So that night, she came in with her podcast and i read my material…I never talk to anyone in the family after the fight with my sis, thus i just do my own stuff while she does hers.
As i was reading this in my mind in English “Jesus chased 7 demons out of Mary Magdalene and the name of this lady was mentioned in the bible for more than 12 times…”
Mum’s podcast was speaking the EXACT WORDS IN MANDARIN!!! OMG.
I was so shocked, i mean..what are the chances!??!
I dont usually listen to her podcast and i dont usually read the books sent by RBC…
But on that particular depressing night, after i made that tiny prayer… I actually experienced this very rare and weird, yet peaceful encounter!
I do not know how to describe but it is very amazing. Some might tell me it is just coincidence but i really do not think it is so coincidental…Somehow, something in me tells me that Jesus gave me this sign that HE is there.
I feel peaceful and i fell asleep with Peace in me, for the 1st time after the fight broke out between Sis and me in the family.
As i type this now, i can still feel the goosebumps… Just imagine! Reading and listening the same thing altogether, in 2 different languages and coming from 2 different sources, in the same room.
It is very creepy haha but it is really very miraculous.
Praise my Lord for the little surprise 🙂
Anw, just fyi, after reading, i actually realise that alot of people including myself, mistaken Mary Magdalene as the prostitute, or the woman that committed adultery in the bible. She is actually NOT and there is no concrete evidence that she worked as a prostitute.
But i have to say, the devil isnt some1 that gives up easily too. I was disturbed in the morning, when i was praying, there is this constant voice (not literally in my ear but more like it is speaking in my head. I cant tell if it is psychological on my part but i noe the uneasy feeling in me) that ask me why am i praying and speaking to me telling me that it is of no use even if i pray.
The feeling was very uneasy and i rem feeling very tired and angry…
I never stop praying though and i even play the worship Songs sang by Sun and i tried to keep myself calm while listening and praying at the same time.
The uneasy feeling only went away after a while…
For non believers, you might be skeptical because i would be too. Even the believers might find it hard to believe but all that i share here is true.
I just thought of sharing and hopefully this encourages you that God is always with you, no matter what you are going through.
It is hard for me because i realise that everytime i minister to people in need, or even when i am just assuring friends and readers in my blog that God is around us, something not so nice wud happen to me, and i know perfectly well that it is from the evil and NOT from God.
I know that my assurance will bite back at me each time but i believe my God is larger than the world’s problem, He will not leave me nor shortchange me.
As i am typing now, situation at home still did not change and it is as bad as it can be and thus i m not looking forward to my Bday. I always thought it will be nice to celebrate with my family, with fun and joy… but looking at it now, it most probably wont happen already.
But by Faith, i am still hoping for the best, even if it doesnt happen on my Bday this year, hopefully things will turn out better soon.
I still believe that God will turn every situation around that is meant to break me.
I still believe that HE will use every situation to bring out the best of me, for me.
I still believe whatever HE allows is for the Best final end result and the process is not important.
Besides, they say that before a great blessing come pass, there will be trials..isnt it?
Frankly, my Christian journey is full of ups and downs. There are also a huge number of skeptics in my life, be it close friends or just friends…
I have people questioning my Faith, i have myself questioning my own Faith, i have people questioning my character and my thinking…
Sometimes it is tiring for me. I am a Christian and that doesnt mean i am perfect, it just means that i am so well aware that i am imperfect and thats why i humble myself and i allow God to work in me. I might fail now and then but i shouldnt be judged as if i am Jesus Christ Himself… Instead, i hope you can see what makes me better and who actually help me along the way. I am trying my best to be good but sometimes i fail, and i fail really hard. Do you know that my best is nothing compared to God’s? Thus i am trying to let God take over, it is easier said than done actually.
I always say i should stay happy no matter who say or does what to me. In this world, too many people are teaching you what to do and what not to do.
I have people telling me “hey you should do this and you shouldnt do that”, i have people saying that “how come u like urself so much that u have to post pictures of urself all the time?”, “how cme u look better in pictures?” , “how come you are not as rich as compared to others in your church?” “how come you still lose your temper, you are a Christian and you shouldnt be angry”, “how come u r not dating? u stay at home everyday, how to get a bf like that? you should go out more!”….. SERIOUSLY.
Worse, a hairstylist who is apparently my church friend even say that i shouldnt cut my hair short because i am not skinny.
Yes, i am not skinny, i am not super slim. I am voluptuous but i am Not fat. But in ignorant Asians’ eyes, a UK8 or 10 is already Darn fat.
So, why do these people care so much? Do they really care or do they just wana talk bad about you?
Look, why cant i upload pics of myself? I like to!
Look, why cant my pics look better than my real? I dont look that bad in real please, my pics are not photo shopped and i am not admitting that i use photoshop because i do not know how.
They are filtered like everyone else’s, i did make use of apps to make them look better by adjusting lightings & colors and i admit that i use a new software now (on my android) to make the skin look smoother, the chin sharper.
So? Every gal does that too, so why are u faulting me?
I like what i see and i do not change the entire picture to be another person. You can still recognize me from the pictures isnt it? NO?
Look, why cant i have short hair just because i am not model-thin? So curvy gals should always have long hair to cover the face? I dont get it.
Look, why cant i be angry? It doesnt mean i am a robot with no feelings just because i am a Christian!?
The world is madness. People are not looking at themselves but they are looking at others and criticizing others.
It is easy to say “Ignore others, just do everything with conscience and with integrity and feel happy” but how many can actually do that and not feel affected?
It is really not easy to live with critical people and the world will really be better if people stop teaching others what to do.
But it wont happen so we have to always adjust ourselves. Sadly.
Well, i thought of dying so many times before. (of course my problems are more than what i typed up there lah. Obviously i wont want to die just because people’s critisize me of not being skinny right?!)
But honestly, if Dying is the solution, the whole world should be Dead long ago.
We are all waiting and anticipating that ray of light each and every day isnt it?
So, thats the life i am living. Everyday. I am not any better than any of you here. Just in case people think that i am living very well and happy and thus i can post all the positive and happy posts. I did not reveal my sadness previously, but that doesnt mean i am not sad ok. I am sad.
But i guess i am learning to be happier, everyday.
I believe God will not shortchange me, maybe there is still hope in me. Haha.
Even if is 1% of hope. I hang on to it…I hope that you are hanging on to Hope too. For you will not know what tomorrow brings.
Ok, i dont know why it turns a little emotional now.. haha, so i better stop!
On a side note, i am loving my skin now. Havent been so perfect for quite sometime! Thanks to Hada LaBo!
Ok, this is Confirmed non edited/ non filtered – bare skin under normal lightings.
Get that bottle of Hada Labo and try out now!
Gf is complaining to me now over wechat, haha. I am blessed to have cute and awesome friends. Though not alot but i am thankful for real friends and a few of them is enough 🙂 And i miss the 4 babies of Gf!
I cant wait to go back to church, head out with gf, 7 and Gary soon, hurhur.
Today is Monday, arghh. 4 more days to weekend and i seriously cant wait. What makes the wait even more miserable and unbearable is my injured leg. Guess i overstretched it and i am kinda crippling now. I hope it gets better so that i can go jog soon 😦
As i said, i have nothing much to update now so i shall stop here. Till e next post! God Bless.
Some Pictures (ok, is ALOT) of my Hair now, i love the Purple streaks (and some of them turned pink now)
I might get rid of them soon? Still deciding if i should do another color, so i better showcase them now. haha.
approx 500 days for me to be completely bleached.
a complete cleansed heart.
no memories at all
only realise it till i see it
i am very relieved and very very thankful
extremely happy for myself
From e bottom of my heart, Thank you God. Jesus. CHC. Pastor Kong, Sun Ho, Eng Han & Janet, Mum & Sis, BBG211, Seven, Mel, Gary.
Thank you, Valencia.
Thats right, i thank you for being so strong despite the really bad shits you went through and standing stronger than ever.
I love you.