Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Archive for May, 2013

I trust U

It is with heavy heart that i write this. The 2 weeks since last week was really hectic.

My leader going for the trial and before the 2 weeks of trial ends, my Mum fell and got admitted to Hospital.

I am worried but i know Jesus is with her.

Despite being worried and really weary from all the happenings and stress, i have peace in my heart because i know Jesus is here with us.

Please keep my Mum in prayers.

I am praying for Mummy and also my Church and my leaders.

Dear Lord, U are still on the throne.

We trust you.

Worse things might have happened but because You are with us, we are still safe and breathing.



City Harvest Church Trial: Auditor’s Knowledge And Approval Central To Case – updated as of 18 May ’13

 Lai confirmed that Sim’s concerns stemmed not from his doubts about the genuineness of the Xtron bond investments, but from possible conflict of interests, given the relationship between Xtron and CHC; it appeared that Baker Tilly did not have an issue with whether the bonds were bona fide.

The use of the building fund for investments, including into Xtron and Firna bonds, was disclosed to the auditor, the board and to executive members, and no concern in relation to this had been raised.

Read More HERE

Credit of source:

God is with you, Eng Han.

The trial of City Harvest case will continue on Monday.

The court is closed today due to internal event.

Meanwhile, the discerning Christians from all over the world is praying earnestly for our dear leaders.

Had a fruitful meeting with my leader Eng Han last night.

I really salute him.

Having going through tremendous stress in the day, he can still preach to us in the night. (nothing much about the case, focus  is on biblical knowledge and biblical preaching, if you ask)

Such an amazing professional.

He told me to have constant faith, looks like he knows my weakness before i even say anything.

Yes, i have fears in me (towards my own personal/career matters) and he gave me a rhema word yesterday.

Except that, this time, he specifically speak to me, calling my name.

I feel very very touched.

Thank you Eng Han, God is with you, i am sure.


City Harvest Trial Day 2 Session 1 updates

Would you be aware if building funds of the church were used to purchase Xtron and Firna bonds?

And you had no difficulties with the investment?

And, that to your understanding, the church’s auditor, was also not troubled about the genuineness of such investments?

Yes, yes and yes.

Read More Here.



Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John8:32

Credit of Source:

Happy Mothers Day 2013

Hi` Happy Mothers Day to all Mothers. Especially all the Single Mums! All Mums are awesome but you ladies are double the awesome portion!

IMG_20130512_3 My Mummy is a very strong woman and she might not be the perfect Mum but she is really the best mum and a  woman that i truly respect.

Dont get me wrong, she isnt some bad Mum when i say she isnt perfect but my Mum is just a very simple traditional lady that might not be really good at expressing herself.

But despite that, she is really a very very good Mother that will reserve nothing, and give her all to me and my sister.
She will not hesitate to lay dwn her life for us if need be.
Thats how much she loves us and i know it.

I really really regretted wasted 10 years of my life not cherishing her.
Even since i turned 14, i dont remember communicating with her, or really pay much attention to her.
It was all about boyfriends and fun for me back then.

After i am older, about 25, i paid more attention to my Mother. Prior to that, i dont even remember her surgeries, her woes, her happiness and unhappiness, her problems she face at work and etc..

Sometimes, i would cry whenever i think of all these.
I was sucha terrible daughter.

I thank God that even though i am SO LATE in loving her and paying attention on her…i am able to do it now, at the very least.
Better late than never.
I pray  that God gives me more  time to spend with my Mum on earth, let her experience the love she never feel before, experience the food she never eat before, visiting places she never been to before.

Right now, i just feel so attached  to my MUM, like as if i am back to 7yr old.
I remember i was a piece of sticky post it when i was 7, sticking to Mum wherever i go and cant do anything without her.
I  m  glad that the feeling is back, i hope she is happy that i am sticky too (haha)

If i were to write about my Mum, i guess it will be so long that i might even need days.
Ever since Dad left the shit behind,  Mum was the only 1 that struggled till today, bringing me and my Sister up ALL BY HERSELF.

She told us that she can choose to give up, give us up and give herself up but she did not, she did not shed a tear and she bite on till we grew up. During the  growing up part (of me), it was extremely hard for her.

Especially when i was so rebellious, especially when i keep getting into trouble, hurting her, screaming and swearing at her, saying things that hurt her so much… She has to bear all those pain and continue providing for the Family despite the hurts left by my Dad and i.

I am so deeply sorry for all that. But i really hope she is relieved now that the devil in me has left me and her baby girl is back now, better than ever. There are alot of things i wish i can say to her, but she will never see this blog.

Ok perhaps  i can show her but she wudnt understand much either. But i just want to say, i can do anything for her, even laying my own life. I love my Mummy and i pray to God to protect her and bless her with good health and longevity 🙂

Happy Mums Day, my Mummy!



Anyway, we went to celebrate Mums day with Aunt and Mum yesterday at York Hotel. Included Aunt because she is alone and has no kids, i dont want her to feel left out so i decided to give her a treat too! She is happy that she is involved and she is really very appreciative. I am just happy that they are happy. 🙂 IMG_20130513_1 Would like to also do a shoutout for White Rose Cafe at York Hotel. Their service is amazing.

Especially so- for a not so well known Hotel. From what i know, York hotel is actually a a member of  Goodwood Park hotel.
I have been to various hotels due to work, services is good generally.
Havent really come across very rude service. However, The White Rose Cafe at York Hotel really hires good people i guess.
There is this service staff by the name of Jimmy, he is so bright and cheerful that he really brighten up the mood of all the guests.

He is always smiley and my family was very satisfied with his warmth service towards us.
He also did something really really out of the norm for us especially. (not gonna reveal here but it is really beyond expectation)

Thus i will never hesitate to go back again, good food and good service, very rare in Singapore! Oh, as for the food, the spread is ok, it is not WOW IT IS AWESOME for an international buffet but it is really satisfying and value for money. Food taste above than average but spread can be more than what it was. durian pud
dess\ cfon



Didnt take much pictures of the food because we were busy eating!

Mum loves the Durian Pancake and Durian pudding whereas sis and i thought it was ok. Overall experience is good, i will rate 4 over 5 stars. We went shopping after the lunch and though we wana have dinner b4 we head home , we decided that we were too full and thus we went home straight after shopping as we were all tired. IMG_20130513_2





















IMG_20130512_35 Sis baked brownies for Mummy and i had some brownies for dinner. brown

We went to sleep rather early as it is the irritating Monday today. Ok, before i go on thinking about Friday… i better load up some pics and stop whinning. Meanwhile, you guys have a great week ahead! God bless you~

CHC Trial in 2 Days

This is a ridiculous Google search by I-really-dont-know-who.

Anyway, the Trial is starting and i guess there will be people like that.


I just want to say, CHC Trial will not divide Christians,  we are all God’s people. Yes, i do agree that there will be discerning Christians and non discerning Christians.

There are far too many people who want to have a say in everything, they are not even from church, so i am very upset why are they critisizing so much when they are not well informed as we do.

Secondly, i doubt the characters of these people and i do not really want to feel that way towards people whom i call ‘Friends’.

So…. yah, i do not wish to see nonsense because such nonsense hurts the eyes and heart and is really not worth seeing.

It is 2 days away from the Trial, and i Pray that God can bring Wisdom and discernment to His people.

Vdates 2nd week of May 2013


I have nothing much to update actually, this week is a boring week. I have been feeling extremely tired this week because i am having insomnia.

Crap, thought it is gone forever, didnt expect it to be back so soon.

But i am not depressed, i am just insomniac. My body seems to be missing that one week of late nights and prolly that is why.

Old Picture taken before my face was swollen. Sigh i miss my good skin.

I didnt really want to start writing since i have nothing much to share but i reckon i might as well.

Speaking of “MIGHT AS WELL”.. I really wish to tell alot of my friends, or even people whom i do not know-but who are reading this space…that…. IT IS MIGHT AS WELL and NOT “MYSELF”!

Ok, i dont make sense above but check out the following sentences and you will know what i mean.

Gal A: If you are getting this, MYSELF you get that as well?

Guy C: hello Miss, if you want to go  that direction, you MYSELF turn the other way since it is nearer?

See anything wrong with the above sentences? They just dont make sense dont they?

Try pronouncing the words and reading the sentences.

Got it?

It is like… why are you SOFA KING stupid?

Ok, pardon the french, i dont mean it. It was meant to be an example. Duhzzz.

So, there were already so many friends that made the same mistake and i was too embarrassed to tell them.

I know my English isnt fantastic, but this mistake is abit OVERBOARD please, i dont even know what is going through their mind when they type that out! (YES! GF WAS SAYING THAT IF THEY PRONOUNCE IT THE WAY IT IS, IT IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH. TYPING THAT OUT IS UNFORGIVABLE PLEASE! I mean, who would type “myself” out of nowhere, in the middle of a sentence when it is not relevant to the sentence, and when it is not even linking another word or making sense in the sentence?????)


Ok, get it once and for all, it is MIGHT AS WELL.

It is very common sense and simple mah, isnt it? -_-

When i was young, i also pondered why isit call “myself”, i used my puny brain and thought about it, went to ask a teacher and got her to confirm my answer and all. I know it is like super weird or boliao (senseless and meaningless) lah but at least i use my brain right.
And i got the right spelling and i am using the right word since 8. If not… it would be embarrassing to commit sucha awkward mistake lah!

This is supposed to be very random, i was just talking about this with GF last night and thus i decided to blog about it. No offence to anyone!!!

IMG_20130428_2 IMG_20130428_4

missmissesmissesssss my goodoldskin! 😦

Anyway, another thing that i thought of mentioning but hesitated to do so is that…

Ok, how do i put it…..

It is awkward to call this person my Ex boyfriend but he indeed was my boyfriend. But it was like 10 years ago.

Puppy love you say, but we shared more than just puppy love. (quite personal, so i dont think i should pour all the details)

But whatever it is, we were tog and alot of shit happened then.

I used to put up with his nonsense of abuses (verbal and physical. but he is nowhere near my last ex Adrian) and of course, i wasnt perfect also.

But i never believe that a guy should verbally or physically abuse any woman and after my worst experience last 2011, i am never so sure that i will never never put up with an abusive r/s  or person ever.

So this Ex added me in FB and we kinda got back in contact and it was awkward at first because i cant imagine us talking again, it has been 10 years and i was really hurt by this person back then.
To make matter worse, he initiated break up every other day back then. Seriously, i was crazy to even stay for that 1 year with him.

I told him all these when we were talking days ago and he acknowledged. SO, I AM NOT BADMOUTHING HIM BEHIND HIS BACK.

I aint sure if he reads this space but at least i am not saying behind his back as whatever i said here, i meant it and i said in his face too.

Of cos, it kinda surprised me that he is talking to me as if nothing happened before when so much so much shits happened back then. Thus i brought the past up, not to blame, but to seek a closure. I cant pretend ntg happened before actually. Yah.

I apologized for the part of me being a very insensible and not good enough gf too, but more of me was thinking “why am i talking to such a jerk? didnt i wish him to die back then?”

There was a struggle inside me, that i admit. I was struggling if i should forgive, if i should even reply his messages.

Gf was saying that if it was me a few years ago, i would hv shouted vulgarities at him already.

But actually, i wudnt. I most likely will just ignore. (i did that to a few jerks so i am quite sure thats my reaction usually haha)

But something in me tell me to forgive and just let it go.

Honestly, the torments and hurts is still very fresh in my heart and mind. The scar he caused, is still on my left eye and it will never go because i had 4 (or was it 6) stitches for the deep wound.

But i dont know why i feel weak inside me to be angry with him.

Now, i dont and i never habour the hope of getting back together. It is just Impossible.

So i reckon i have really changed quite abit in terms of accepting someone who had let me down. I do not know if i should thank God for that, but all i know is that i am doing it for God – solely Jesus. I want to be like Him, i am trying.

Because i prayed and i asked “God, why do u make me so weak, why should i be talking to someone lidat? He hurt me badly and why should i talk to him or even think of helping him if he ever needs help?”

I didnt really hear from God but i know there is a peaceful feeling in me. (but i still question myself sometime if it is worth my time talking to someone that hurt me so much before)

So, yah, he apologized too and to be honest, i actually wish that he is well, despite the fact that he told me about the ‘Karma’ that happened to him.
And i actually do not want him to feel guilty towards me….

and then i wonder if i ever will talk to someone more terrible like my last ex bf. ever.

Honestly, i didnt and i WILL NEVER expect or imagine him saying sorry or even feeling sorry. I will NEVER.
But if ever people (like him) who hurt me, needs help from me or anything, would i be bothered (in future)?


Anw, then i hear this ex (who added me in fb recently) telling me his Mum and him think that i am not so bad a person afterall, i am still quite ok as a gf.
I wanted to say “why didnt you guys realise it sooner?”

But i didnt.

Because recalling the past, as much as i am not very bad a person, i am still not considered as a good gf. I wish i can be better.
Of  cos, i do not know if he really mean it. I mean, i am not trying to be skeptical towards him, i am trying my best not to judge him based on 10 years ago but it is not so easy huh?
We can forgive, but we can never forget. So i am also trying my best to be neutral and treat him like someone i just got to know.


Errr, this is so weird to end, but i just want to say, it is actually not that hard to forgive and maybe i am born so kind (LOL! OMG PLEASE) but i guess time really does washes the wounds clean.

For me, it is God who allow that compassion in me. Hmm..

Yah. Weird, i am ending it here.



A picture for you to ease the awkwardness. I forgot to post this the other time. A sweet greeting from RBC for my bday 😛


Ok anw, i am so tired because it is the ‘time of the month’ again and i chatted with GF till wee hours.
Gymming later with Se7en and i am so so dreading because of the heavy flow of…


But i am looking forward to Gymming since last week 😦 So prolly i will try my best to make it. I havent been exercising last week so i cant slack off this week right? 😦

Ok i gtg. I cant wait to celebrate Mothers Day with Mummy and Aunt and sis this Sunday. Yes, it did burnt a hole in my pocket but  i guess Mummy is worth aplenty. As for Aunt, i will treat her as my mum too since she has no kids and she has us 🙂
I pray Mummy will recover soon thou,  from her giddiness 😦



Last but not least, i really pray for God for alot of Grace and Wisdom. I need to really start on my plannings already and i am excited, yet i am fearful. Thus i pray for courage. Like what Pastor Kong says…never pray for fear to be gone. Instead, pray for courage to be as much or more than fear! 🙂


Speaking of which, i pray for Pastor Kong, Sun and Eng Han (and the others who were alleged) I believe God has a plan for them and the  church and the innocent will prevail in HIS WAY. Glory to Yaweh~


Ok. Have a good weekend you people, i will be right back!

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