Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Archive for November, 2013

28/11/13 112am

So, i guess FB is the most accurate medium to announce official stuffs nowadays. You guys probably knew it since last night.
To be honest, i am still not very used to not being alone, still not  very used to calling someone baby, still not used to mention the word “BF”.
But someone crept silently into my life recently and ….


Who would have imagined, after 2 years of AWESOME lonesome, i am back in the trap again. Like what i told him, IT IS A TRAP!
If you know me, you would have known how much i am against the idea of committing to someone/ a relationship (ever since my last abusive r/s)
But of course, i werent like that all along, i was a hopeless believer of fairytales. Then, those fairytales turn out to be nightmares, ofml.

Anyway, long story short, as much as i am still VERY skeptical (about r/s matters), Mr John Lim managed to make me (want to) explore the possibility of getting happiness out of our new status.

Of cos, everyone wants happy ending. Who wouldnt. But i cant guarantee anything nor confirm anything about him, about me or about us for now.
Quoting him- even though he isnt sure if im the one for him, he hopes that i am.
That’s mutual, that’s what i hope for too, thus we do hope something good will work out for us.

And if that happens, i will blog about the story of how we met and blahblahblah (if you are kaypo enough to wait)
If no magic happens, forget it lah! HAHA


Really do not know what the future holds, really really am afraid and skeptical, but till date, i still wana thank you John, for being my early Xmas pressie, thank you for being nice, thank you for being super duper smart so i can learn alot from you (but sorry, i am still not agreeing with your political views) thank  you for making me lol with  your arrogance though i seriously duno hw to reply u at times, thank you for loving me for who i am (errr hopefully you do becos i added this in myself) and thank you for your love (till date u r still doing ok )

To all the friends that messaged me privately, thank you. Especially Regine. Thank you  for talking to me,  i appreciate your encouragements and kind words very very much.
Thank you gf, you are still my pillar and will always be.
Thank you sincere friends who wished me (or us) well, lets chill and see what happens.
Thank you, ex bfs and haters who gave weird and negative opinions, at least you bothered to.

This post is for you John, u better dont say i never blog about u because u matter to me and it is not playplay k.

p/s God, Your Will to be done. Always.

What is inside me?


I haven’t been blogging seriously for some time. There are no excuses but i was just not in the mood to do it.

I would love to say that there are some new happenings in my life. But really, i duno if there are stuffs happening too.
Forget it, i dont know how to make this clear too.

So, work is really in a mediocre state till i have nothing much to say. It is really JUST about the money money money. Kaching!

Recently, i realize that i am sicker. Sick of pretending, sick of wanting this and that to happen, sick of being sucha perfectionist, sick of working out (which i usually love), sick of sleeping and sick of not being able to sleep, sick of eating (fml please. food leh), sick of heading out, sick of staying home, sick of this sick of that.

Why am i like that?

Whenever i feel this way, it is time for me to take up more challenging stuffs, like serving a new ministry, start a new hobby, learn something new. Perhaps i have been really lazy and nuar for the longest time of my life and thus for now, i really cant stay in a stagnant state.
Many ask me to find a new job since i am suffering here everyday, but easier said than done. We all know it.
A new job means interacting with new people, adapting new working environment, learning new stuff, handling new office politics and etc.
Plus, how would i know if i will be paid better and all? (fml for wanting this comfort zone)

But, isnt that what i want? New challenges?!

Many say maybe it is time for me to start dating again. Actually i didn’t really stay home as a nun. I mean, i still talk to new people now and then but am too jaded to start trusting, start loving and in short, i am sick of having a r/s.  I am sure my reasons are justifiable, who would be keen to start risking the heart being hurt and cheated again after all the shit i went through 2 years ago? (oh and that excludes shits i went tru before 2years ago)

But, isnt that what i want? New challenges?

Many say i should start doing something more, maybe head out, know new people or learn a new language. But frankly, i am too tired for all that.
I guess i just need a break. Like a long hiatus, like a getaway. But where is the time, the energy, the money and the companion?

I have no more leave to take because i have used them up due to my health issues, i have not enough money for a long Europe trip (please, i dun wan a 3days 2nights getaway), i have almost no friends to go with. I sounded so pathetic. FML.

But it is true. As i aged, the friends who were once very close to me are al married and busy with making babies, the money is put to other good use and a large part of it went to my personal plan, the time i have is left for work and exercises, the little amount of time i have left is also used to make myself sleepy so i can sleep.

Yep, the health issue is not getting better although i have been trying and i found myself trembling and shaking just this morning. This is crazy.
Slept at 940pm, woke up at 2am, went back to sleep at 3am, woke up at 6am and went back to sleep at 7am. Finally woke up at 8am and feeling out of breath.
I light a cigarette and tried to smoke all these nonsensical worries away, but i cant even hold the stick properly. Terrible.

Then my good friend told me i am not determined and i do not have the willpower to overcome my own sickness. Thank you very much.
I seriously duno what else can i do to make myself recover from this crap.

If working my way to be better, to do healthy stuffs, to be a better person, isnt “helping myself”, what is?
If seeing the doc monthly, increasing dosages, spending useless $ hearing the doc say that i need time and each time i visit her, all i was told was i need more time and patience  to recover….

Time. I do not know how much time i have. No. i am not suffering from terminal illness, if i am blessed enough (i am in Christ name) i should be able to have lots more time on earth. But what i mean is, age is catching up, i still do not feel that i have achieved much in life.
Look, what have i achieve?
Probably i am earning more than the past, but i am unhappy everyday, dreading my feet to Tg Pagar at 8am.
Probably i am alot more healthier than the past, but i am still on medication.
Probably i am happier, but when can i finally feel that “yes, this is the time of my life. i am truly happy and stable”

Ok, this post might be alittle negative, forgive me. I wk up feeling like crap. I nida rant. Maybe this is what they call- mid life crisis (mid life????)
Ok, perhaps it is just the late twenties crisis. Maybe it is peer pressure and seeing my peers far ahead of me can be quite taxing sometimes.

I talk alot this time about how i really feel inside me for the longest time. I rarely do this yea. So this post isnt about some updates of what i did, where i went and who i met. It is more of a real update of how i feel.

But it is all talk lah. Back to reality, i still have to face all the shits, i still have a meeting on Friday for my plan (really, i have kinda lost the motivation to do what i planned, but i have already commited myself to it, giving it up now really just show how loserish i am) i still have to face TONS of backstabbers at work, i still have to face the problem i created myself, i still have to try to sleep, i still have to work out, i still have to try to eat properly (only because i promised John) i still have to ….ARGH, i have to live.

Yah, Life is simple, it is just not easy. And i should stop whining. Sometimes, dont you just wish that Life comes with instructions?
For example, a guide book. You flip to page 1 for Monday and 2 for Tuesday and etc, then follow what God wants us to do and where God wants us to go, meet people God wants us to meet and etc.

Ok i am sounding a little naive and unattractive already. Better stop here.

Shall upload pics and tts it, i am not writing anymore. Feel like resting the poor brain that hasnt been resting for almost a week.


Went to gf’s crib recently after doctor’s appointment. Had fun with Kinect and babies, of cos, with gf too! 😀


Met up with Alan and John recently.

IMG_20131116_2Some dude- Alan’s fren

IMG_20131116_3Ah Zai

IMG_20131116_4seriously, i really don’t know her. I dont even know if i can call her Alan’s fren.
Her name is Apple Gao, btw.

IMG_20131116_6I know i really bring joy, but need to be so happy not?




IMG_20131116_10i nida explain this. Look, i am not leaning on John ok, it was er….awkward.
Because errr Apple was lik….wanting to be closer to Alan and Alan doesnt seem lik he like it and so i kinda push her to him and aiya. 
Sua, i duno what to say.


IMG_20131116_13Yah, trophy for Singaporeans. 
Mandatory shot when u have it, Krispy Kreme.

IMG_20131118_1Everyday, my eyes are lidat, i can never open them.

IMG_20131122_1Random. Trying dresses for Christmas, got more later. HAHA

IMG_20131123_1Gf day. Thanks to her and Chris, we went to….






AMEI Special Showcase for the MBS Vips.
Pardon the blurry pictures, samsung S3 know la.




IMG_20131123_233048And this is my dinner with my gf after the concert, i was zombiefied. 

IMG_20131124_7 And this is me and XiaoHui at Jackson’s wedding. Congrats Bud! 
God will surely bless your wonderful new journey with Net!



IMG_20131124_201520#Ootd for Jackson’s big day. Not bad ah, the dress.
But it is too loose and i am  thinking of selling, any takers?

IMG_20131124_201640Went Jockey’s to meet John after the Wedding.
My dinner at Jockey’s.

John’s fav place -_-


IMG_20131123_154136 Cute not? Cute right? Haha. 
My talented Sis made this. So love hor.

IMG_20131124_19Went to H&M and tried on different attires.
My favs are the red and the bottom right.
Tts almost what all the others chose too.
My dear John chose the 3rd frm the top and the 1st on the bottom left.

IMG_20131125_17And i am supposed to be touched when he tk pics of his food for me cos he says that he dun do that usually.
And becos of that, i took pic of my dinner and sent him and i was made to promise him that i have to eat proper meals for dinner.
How sian.

IMG_20131125_1At Jockey’s.

Shine bright like a diamond

25.50-carat Brilliant-cut Flawless Type IIa Diamond

“But it is the woman who grow out of that silly darkness that shines like a diamond.” – valliezLesley

Be the one that is in control, regardless.

Passenger – Let Her Go

“is that familiarity that heals and kills” – valliezLesley

Just another day, but another new day

And after all that has been said and done.
And Moving on…



And i believe that nothing is too huge for me to bear. I have been through the worst, and every crap that comes my way is just polishing me for the bright future.

But for now, i cant take the sleepiness  OH LORD! SLEEEEPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

On a serious note, i am so so so anxious and nervous for the coming year because it will be very challenging and tiring and mentally stressful for me. I really really do not want to worry so much and just do it but you know how one cant help it when it comes to fear.

Well, i will do my best, God do the rest!

Shifting my focus back to the very important task that is coming ahead. #anticipates


I guess i do not have to elaborate much on the below. Because it disgusts me to the max to even start talking about these jerks.

Pedophilia is sick, it is Terribly SICK.

I am not here to judge anyone, but if you realise that you might be pedophilia, please  consult a doctor. There will always be help.
I did not bother to do a research on what is the exact cause of it but i reckon it is not as important (in my opinion) at this point.
Those selfish pervertic old men  that stays behind the cam, paying kids to perform such obscene actions, omg i cant even imagine.

Because there is something worth more attention and urgent and i urge you guys to watch this clip, and participate in the petition. I did my part and my heart really goes out to these poor children, it is just a few clicks. Would you help the poor kids?

Please sign the petition here :




PTP: 12.5-16.5″
WAIST: 12.14.5″
HIPS: 15-18″
Made of thick quality lace and polyester blend mix, non sheer.
Features padded bust, side zip. Material stretchable.


Original Price including postage is $31. I am selling at $29 (inclusive of normal postage).

Letting go because it is too small. 
Brand New, Never worn before (except for trying), Never wash before

PM me at or leave a comment.

pictures credits:


For you, JJ

It is with much regrets that we are where we are now. But i am glad we are who we are now. I cant say i am really successful but i am sure i am better than those times when i was with you. Likewise, you are living so much better than those  times when you were with me.

hey  我真的好想你
眼睛乾乾的 有想哭的心情

hey 我真的好想你
太多的情緒 沒適當的表情

如果沒有你 沒有過去 我不會有傷心
如果沒有你 我在哪裡 又有甚麼可惜
反正一切來不及 反正沒有了自己

hey 我真的好想你

hey 我真的好想你
眼睛乾乾的 有想哭的心情

hey 我真的好想你
太多的情緒 沒適當的表情

如果沒有你 沒有過去 我不會有傷心
如果沒有你 我在哪裡 又有甚麼可惜
反正一切來不及 反正沒有了自己

hey  我真的好想你

I do think of you now and then, thanks for being my kin and best friend back in those years. Hope you are well, glad we crossed paths.

All the best.

這一刻 突然覺得好熟悉 像昨天 今天同時在放映
我這句語氣 原來好像你 不就是我們愛過的證據

差一點 騙了自己騙了你 愛與被愛不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一種運氣 但我無法完全交出自己

努力為你改變 卻變不了 預留的伏線
以為在你身邊 那也算永遠 彷彿還是昨天
可是昨天 已非常遙遠 但閉上我雙眼 我還看得見

可惜不是你 陪我到最後 曾一起走卻走失那路

感謝那是你 牽過我的手 還能感受那溫柔

那一段 我們曾心貼著心 (我想我更有權力關心你)
可能你 已走進別人風景 多希望 也有 星光的投影

努力為你改變 卻變不了 預留的伏線
以為在你身邊 那也算永遠 彷彿還是昨天
可是昨天 已非常遙遠 但閉上我雙眼 我還看得見

可惜不是你 陪我到最後 曾一起走卻走失那路
感謝那是你 牽過我的手 還能感受那溫柔
感謝那是你 牽過我的手 還能溫暖我胸

Vshares sOmang Midnight Regenerating Hydro Intense Sleeping Cream

then and nowYou know, how they usually compare when they put your old pictures and current pictures side by side for a comparison during a skincare product Advertisement?

Yah, here you go. Not only me, but also my lovely GF! 

Hope there isnt much changes though…  😡

Today i am sharing about a rather new Korean Skincare/ Beauty Brand in Singapore.
I am not sure if they are new, but frankly, they are to me because i only get to know about this brand not too long ago.

The Brand of the product is sOmang. You may either check them out at their FB or their Website. Perhaps they have been around for sometime but for those that have not heard about them like me, you may read them up ya.

This review is not sponsored and i am gona share my experience with their popular product – ONL by sOmang Midnight Regenerating Hydro Intense Sleeping Cream.

It was around Mid Autumn Festival that i came to know about sOmang. 1 of their staff came to my workplace and brought tons of samples for me. I do not know him prior to the meeting but it was really a nice gesture. Basically, he just wants to let me try out the products with no obligations nor agenda. I was kinda blessed that day.

So, there are alot of different products inside the bag but i gave some to my boss. I am sucha sharing person. Haha. So, i havent finish using all the other products but i have started on the sOmang Midnight Regenerating Hydro Intense Sleeping Cream and am finishing it.

It came as a sachet like this:


And i thought to myself: oh man, sucha small packet! It’s not even enough for 1 side of my face please!

But to my pleasant surprise, the small sachet of sOmang Midnight Regenerating Hydro Intense Sleeping Cream (almost half the size of your Samsung s3) can last me up to 2 times of usage. I still have leftover and i will prolly use it (the 3rd time) this weekend again.

So, either my face is not that big or the cream is really alot in the small sachet. Is not that i am so greedy that i have to split the pathetic small sachet into 3 times. But, there is really alot of cream and i have tried my best to spread my whole face but there is still so much left.

Uh huh, no choice, but to keep it for the next time.

The original packaging will look like this, above was just the sample sachet packaging:



Price: $59.90

Here is what the product contains:

• Natural herbs—lavender leaves, lemon balm leaves, rosemary leaves, and chamomile leaves
• Induces sleep, calms nerves and recovers skin from fatigue.
• Triple wild herbs
• Evening primrose, dandelion and mistletoe help to alleviate stress
• Seawater
• Rich in protein, lactose, lactic acid, vitamins and other inorganic substances that help skin regeneration. It also soothes and responds to skin damages caused by UV rays and other harmful elements.
• Carnosine
• An unique antioxidant for our skin
It was my first time using the product and to be honest, i was really impressed by its pretty packaging even though it was just a sachet. After i opened the sachet, the first thing that strikes me was the smell of the product.

It smells so good that i cant stop sniffing my fingers as i spread the cream all over the face. Now, i do not know how to describe the scent, it is neither fruity, floral or anything. But it is just so nice and really, i duno how. LOL.

Then, the next thing on my mind was “will this be sticky?”

The texture of the cream feels very “Matty” and “Waxy” , it is a light water-based cream that looks matt but according to  the researches i made online, it does not compromise in providing deep hydration with anti-wrinkle and whitening effect.
It does absorbs easily into the skin and is said to be suitable for all skin types.
It glides on easily on skin.
The brand also claims that It forms a layer of protection that increases skin moisture retention and elasticity.



It was kinda contradicting for me because upon spreading on my face, it feels very errmmm… i wouldnt say it is powdery, but is really waxy. Yet, it does make me feel a little sticky after finishing applying. Usually, i thought that Matt/Waxy and Sticky dont go together but shrugs.

IMG_20131104_1non filtered/edited

So, anyway, the stickiness is still not that bad and i am cool with it. Went to sleep with the cream on and woke up to smoother skin.

However, i wouldnt say it is really miraculous, it is just smoother, like “normal smoother”. Nothing spectacular. I wouldnt spend the amount on the tub because it works almost the same as any other moisturizer but if you are a sucker for great scent products, then perhaps you might give it a try?

Vshares on ONL by sOmang Midnight Regenerating Hydro Intense Sleeping Cream

Category: Skincare/ Beauty

Value for $: VV

Level of service: N.A

Likes: VV

Will i recommend to my friend: No

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