So terribly sorry. I am gone for the longest time ever. I know. I am swamped as usual and i hardly have time to breathe.
This post is gonna be rather fast as i am trying my best to squeeze out some time to update abit.
Firstly, i shall update about myself. A quick one. I am still stucked here in This place and nothing really changes but i have also been keeping myself busy on another and am working my ass off to watch it grow.
Recently, i have made peace with some friends… very ironic. Recently, I lost some people whom i always hold close at heart but i am glad, and for the first time, GENUINELY, i aint sore when i say i am really glad to get rid of such negative people in my life though it hurts initially but after days of cooling down, really, i cant be anymore thankful x100000
Oh, i met the friends whom disappeared some time back too!
Aaron and his wife are expecting a new life to their life (which i am very happy for them), he waved to me when he saw me and i cant describe the feeling. It wass like, whatever nonsense unhappiness we had previously quickly disappeared, it was also at that moment that i realised that wadever he and his wife did back then might be just another act of childish impulse while i reacted too strongly abt it. Ultimately, we did not aim at harming ech other and we are still friends. Maybe we can never return to the best friends stage but the thing that makes both of us really thankful is that, we are ultimately friends that will NEVER HARM each other no matter what.
Seven and Gary are expecting their little one too. How time flies…Even they are parents to be now!
Although there are stuff she did back then that pissed me off, like being irresponsible as an insurance agent and non transparent as a friend…i realised that these are really minor faults which human beings will have. Human beings err. I wasnt perfect too but i was too angry at that point to think over. I just thought of how she kept my Mum waiting and that blinded me with anger.
I was indeed too harsh to her… For that, i considered myself making the greatest mistake of crossing her out of my life.
She didnt deserve such harsh treatment no matter what.
But i thank God for her grace, we were close, not exactly Best friends before, we are not close now either. But we are cool. Another thing is, at the end of the day, we did not want to harm each other and we will never do that to each other.
So i gained back friends that i thought were really mean, i gained back friends whom i let down / that i thought let me down… And i treasure them more than ever because out of my 29 years of life, i finally saw and know what is crazy harmful friends just months ago.
Sadly, i actually kept these people in my life so closely… i did not even entertain the thought that these people might be the one that stab me hard on my back just because of their own selfishness.
Really, i was maligned like a fuck by this woman whom i tot is my bestest friend of all gfs. Just because i didnt say Thank You for her gifts and gifts she willingly gave, i am deemed as unappreciative. Who was the one that told me to not be formal in the friendship?
I do remember saying Thank yous in alot of other instances though, but i guess those times were neglected and that is the case when one is blinded (speaking with experience because i was the blinded one towards other friends then)
I helped to move dirty stuff from her mum’s old house despite hating to do house chores even in my own house, i was there when she was having prob with her partner, i was the one speaking to her when her partner cant even be bothered with her, i was the one rushing to the hosp when she was ill and her partner was snoring on bed, i was there not in terms of monetary but physically and mentally. At times when i was tired and i cudnt make it to meet up, i was being blamed for being tired.
Look, if i know that not turning up despite saying i will, will cause so much misery from a friend that cant even understand, i would never even mention about meeting up. It was my fault to suggest about meeting up and not turning up. But i feel any friend would be understanding enough to let it go. I shouldnt expect much from her since she doesnt even move her ass to work, how can i expect her to understand what is tiredness?
To cut the story short, taking the shortcut way out is her way of ending my friendship with her because her ungrateful BF who claimed to be my good friend, fell out with me because of their own relationship problems. Yea, u read it right. Their own relationship argument actually became my fault when i was being approached constantly (to help solve their relationship problems).
Out of desperation during his heated argument with my so called best friend (then), this guy not only bitched to my bf about whatever i have said when i was unhappy(which best friend does that btw) and went all out to harm me just because he cant handle his own relationship with his own gf. Fact is, if he is gona break up with the gal because of wadever reason, he wants to pull another couple down too. That is my 13 yrs of friend for you, Good game Alan Ho, u aint a man by doing that.
And for the records, yes, i did owe him some $ in the past which i am so glad that i cleared off. I was even wondering if he will offer to transfer back the amount of God-knows-how-much back to me – the multiple Cab fares for years which i ‘tobang’ him to and fro, the money which i paid more for the alcohol which i drank 1/4 while he gobbled 3/4 of them, the cigs money, the teh peng money, the chicken rice money and etc.
And towards the false accusation of not returning the cab fares to the woman, i bought dinner as a form of payment so i am guilt free. The dinner they had are not cheap, 3 sets of western for 2 persons. And even though the world ask me not to pay her back the $70 ang pow money she diedie wanted to give back then, i made up my mind to do just that – giving the $70 back. Not only i did not ask for it, i feel keeping money lidat really will bring me down further too.
People who cant realise their own mistakes, who harm others at the expense of everything just to make themselves feel better, are people that do not even deserve to be on this earth. Yet, turning around and blame others to convince themselves that they are faultless.
Look, i was hurt and i wanted to salvage and resolve everything but all i got was ungrateful vulgarities. To me, i just want peace, but to them, they need drama and i can no longer be part of the drama they want. One is not working and has all the time, one is ..wadever la. Really.
I am not denying whatever we have shared as friends in the past, there were happy times, there were times which i felt very touched because of their ‘love’, but the moment i found out that there is intention to harm, that is it. I see no point in continuing in that wadever frenship you want to call it.
I am no longer affected by this ungrateful couple. They can hug together believing that i did them wrong, convincing themselves that they are faultless, or they can rot together without goals in life. I am just glad they left and i pray that i will never see them again. Not that i hate them, but i really want nothing to do with people that goes all out to harm others when they are too free in life.
Frankly, i lost my trust towards any human after this incident. Even the Bestest friend can forsake you, even the best Girlfriend can leave you because of a guy she just dated for mths, even the people you trust can use your past or everything u do or say to harm you. But really, that was wad we were told since young, i was just naive to not be prepared for it.
Anw, that is that and as for my relationship, oh, it is like a roller coaster ride. We have been tru really high and low periods. Alot of my friends think that my rs with Johnnie is really perfect n rosy but what others do not know, is that we really try very hard to work out our differences and there were hard times as well. Well, relationships is at the most challenging stage at the 6th to 7th month because that is when the honeymoon period is over, and that is when couples start to get over all the obstacles and decide if they shld stay on.
However, i am thankful to God that He is giving us the chance to learn, to stay together with His Words and teachings. God also allow the both of us to learn from each other and hug / appreciate each other after each argument and dispute. We are praying for more tolerance as the time gets tougher, of course, we are thankful for the happy times we had and will have 🙂
Basically, I am now very close to my family, esp my sister and i really am grateful to have her. I know i may be very out of control sometimes but she is very tolerant towards me and we can talk about everything under the sun now. It is a blessing. 🙂
As a family, we now have a common goal and we are praying towards it.
Ok, basically, alot happened after i went away that long but the above kinda summarized my life as of now. I will include more pictures and reviews the next time i am back!
I will be posting about my really bad experience with one of the Eyelash parlors next. Stay tuned! 😛