Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Archive for the ‘General’ Category

First and foremost, let me  take this chance to wish my Mother, the greatest Mum on earth, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May Mum be blessed with longevity. Although she can be very irritating and a pain sometimes, well most mothers are anyway so i am lucky i have a really good one. HAHA!IMG_20140802_8 She is the strongest woman ever, bringing me and my Sister up and loving us unconditionally. 🙂 I have lost my patience towards her many times and although i have been trying to be better, i still fail time to time.
However, she has never for once hated me for that, I am very blessed to have a Mum that loves me so much, and i am also blessed that when problem arises, sister and John are there to help calm me down.
Gonna rush home after some unhappy event (i will update on that soon) for cake cutting and mini celebration.
We celebrated last weekend at Rendevous Hotel with the relatives already, tonight is the actual day of my Mum’s Birthie and thus Sis and i would want to have cake with her. (her fav Mao Shan Wang flavor!)

Ok, anyway, i guess it is kinda overdue for my review for Bio-essence Tanaka White. I better get it done before i am so packed again.
Sponsored IMG_20140806_2 So, i received 2 items the other day and although i am taking longer than usual to submit this review, i believe it is for a better cause too. I do not want to start using something for a few days and give my verdict after just that few days. The longer period of time i use the product, the more i can experience and understand what the product can do. Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset As you can see from the packaging, on your left, it is the Bio-essence Tanaka White Double Whitening Day Cream SPF20 ($29.80 / 50g ) and on the right, it is the  Bio-essence Tanaka White 4x Intensive White Serum ($45.80 / 30ml). I can’t wait to  try out the products the moment i got them as i am a Bio-essence user too (Bio-essence V  face cream). After cleansing, i apply the Bio-essence Tanaka White 4x Intensive White Serum and as instructed on the packaging, i apply another layer over areas with dark spots & freckles.

Oh man, those freaking spots and freckles, they are my biggest enemies. My skin is generally good and will be better without those spots. Tsk.

Well, i do not usually care much about the ingredients but it is good to know from time to time.

So these are what is inside the Serum: Tanaka Extract™, Tranexamic Acid, Alpha-Arbutin (9X more Alpha-Arbutin (9X more effective than Beta-Arbutin in skin whitening) , Kojic Acid, Bio Energy Fluid

For this 4X Instensive White Serum, it promises to fight Darkness on Outside, Work Fairness from Within and it claims the following benefits: Effectively lighten existing pigments and spots Block tyrosinase and inhibits the production of melanin to prevent dark spots and reduce darkening after UV exposure Even out skin tone, whiten & brighten complexion Moisturizes and cools skin Result: Skin exudes radiance, for a smooth, fair & healthy looking complexion. Skin’s fairness intensifies for flawless fair skin which glows from within.

My Conclusion? Firstly, this is how it looks like (right): Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetI might be clumsy but honestly, i feel this packaging isnt much of my liking because it turned into some fix and match thingy after a min or 2 after i was trying to see how the dispenser actually work. Not very user friendly in my opinion. Processed with VSCOcam with a4 preset Processed with VSCOcam with a4 presetWell the picture says it all, it works in a way which you have to press the top part of the rubber and let the serum flow out when release pressing. Eh…really not very nice for face serum i reckon. Ear drops maybe? IMG_20140806_5 So this is taken after i applied the serum, pictures is not edited not filtered. I like the texture of the serum though. It is not too sticky, but it gives a very refreshing watery and dewy feeling to the skin. After which, i proceed with my usual toner and moisturizer. Overall, i am quite satisfied with the serum and the result it brings, although it is not instant result i am talking about. I like how the dewy serum feels on the skin, it makes my face feel very moisturized and i have to admit that the glow that comes from within, is definitely there. I also tried the Bio-essence Tanaka White Double Whitening Day Cream SPF20 in the mornings before i head to work. I gotta admit i love the product very much because it really keeps my skin very very hydrated while protecting it from UV rays. I have another SPF cream that i am using which i also fancy too but i find it a little (just a littler) drier than this. However, some might find this product oily or sticky. As i put on make up only around noon, wheareas the SPF20 cream is on for hours, it does not really fade away, instead, it makes putting on make up easier for me. (in my opinion) The product promises to visibly reduces dark spots and evens out skin tone and this is what it contains: Tanaka Extract™, Hyaluronic Acid, Tranexamic Acid, Pomelo extract, minerals The benefits it brings as according to product:SPF20 to protect against harmful UV rays

  1. Tanaka Extract™ shields skin from external pollutants, keeps skin cool and moisturized under hot weather
  2. Contains Tranexamic Acid that helps to significantly brighten and even out skin tone
  3. Provides skin with trace mineral elements and precious herbal extracts such as ginseng, angelica and gingko
  4. Lightens and prevents freckles, dark spots and pigmentation

For these 2 products, i am generally very satisfied because i honestly love products  that feels light and dewy on my face. However, it might be a little pricey compared to the other products of the same range in the market. If there is anything i dislike about the product, it will be the packaging of the Serum. I would recommend my friends to try out though. 🙂 IMG_20140806_7

IMG_20140806_6The above 2 pictures ( me in black) are not edited nor filtered. I did not have any make up on besides drawing my brows, pictures was taken after using the Bio essence Tanaka White 4X Intensive white serum and SPF20 Cream. Pictures are taken under normal room light.

So, anyway, there are so much to update and i have to go and do some work right now, pictures shall do the work yes? 🙂

IMG_20140725_1 IMG_20140726_1 IMG_20140805_1Like super alot of selfies. Yah i know, age is catching up and selfies technically should be left for the younger ones but really, i like selfies. LOL!

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This 1 is worse, it looks like some kind of ad. HAHA, actually this was taken specially for the Review for Bio-essence Tanaka white range.  Like i said, the product is really not bad.

IMG_20140728_1Random #carparkootd shot. The BF is getting better at taking pics (only when he has the patience to, tsk)

IMG_20140728_2The Sis chopped off her hair. I think it suits her though.

IMG_20140801_10Some random shot during 1 of the weekend dinner night out. I am gonna blog about the dinner place very soon because they serve really good Pork and is quite affordable (no GST nor service charge) in my opinion. (coming from some1 that does not fancy Pork)

Oh,  that is my bare face, eyebrows not drawn, hair clipped up like an auntie. Wana say thanks to Aunt for the cute VS pouch. 🙂

Processed with VSCOcam with p5 presetI major love this Kyrra white knit top (Currently the top seller) by LOVEIGE. It is from the new launch – The POISE Collection

 

IMG_20140803_12 For Mum’s Bday celebration!

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Food was really not bad, i would rate it 7.5/10. The spread is quite ok but it will be better if there is more variety. However, the pricing is totally justifiable.

#Rendenvoushotel #buffet

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More pictures on my FB.

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Tried this DVD rental machine the other night with Johnnie. Not too bad, just lack of variety of shows. Also, 1 of the discs can’t work – bummer. Wasted my $1.40 but if you are a new user, the first disc on the  first night is FOC. I know people download shows nowadays and thus it is quite fun to try the oldschool way of renting shows. Actually, it was just my problem with the internet connection and thus i can’t really use internet at home now. LOL. Bummer. IMG_20140806_9

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20140723_200258I must really give credit to OLD TOWN at East Coast Park. Look at the above, the pictures are taken before we touch a single piece of food on the plate. Overwhelmed with hunger, we have no choice but to gobble these crap down. Quantity, i have nothing to say as you can already see  that the bread is twice as big as the chicken chop and the cheese is ard 1/8 of the saucer.

We already waited 1/2 hr for the above and really do not want to wait for another 30mins for nother plate of crap. If i were not that hungry, bitchpls, i would def make a request to change the plate of…

I am not a spoilt brat but i paid and get shit service n this insulting plate of  ???? Sighzzz

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Anyway, on a happier note. LOVEIGE has launched the latest collection, you might want to dropby and  take a look. The collection this time is really versatile and prettayyyyy. I included some pics for you, but you may head to http://www.loveige.com to look at the measurements and etc!

Oh, did i forget to include that the clothing are retailing at really affordable pocket friendly prices. Totally justifiable, quality is amazingly thick and good compared to some other shops out there.

IMG_20140801_8 IMG_20140801_5 porUpcoming, this Porcelaine shift dress fits UK4 – UK12. I am a UK8 – UK10 (for H&M) and thus it looks fitting on me. It will be looser on a smaller girl and fitting on  the curvy ones (UK 10 – 12). Both looks awesome in my opinion. Very Pretty prints and made of quality neoprene material that is rather cooling.

IMG_20140801_1Gorgeous Waterpaint Dress for work.

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This Midi is so lovely and sweet that i reckon no lady will resist. IMG_9004

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Ok, i will just post these, for more, you have to head  to…

LOVEIGE FACEBOOK PAGE LOVEIGE INSTAGRAM

or the e-tailer shop itself! Have Fun!

http://www.loveige.com

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Vdates – October Fantastic Baby Edition

IMG_20131001_2Hi!

Happy Monday! I am dozing off after the crazy amount of workout ytd and 1/2 of the atarax.
Actually, i have been deprived of sleep since Friday. FML!

YAWNS!!!!
Ok, before anything, i would like to share my very first Korean POP song.

LOL!

I didnt even know they are called the Big Bang until my little sis told me ytd (we were dancing to this song for Zumba).
At first, i was like “WTF? Y KPOP AH?”

My sis screamed with excitement. I stared at her. She was so excited for K-POP. Goodness.
I dont fancy and i wont be keen in KPOP at all.
Sorry KPOP fans, i dont mean to offend, but i really do not know how to appreciate lah, sorry. I old liao, so i am very “evergreen-ish” LOL

But i must admit that i am addicted to this song, prolly due to the dance. HAHA.
Sometime back, i was asking my sister “eh who is G dragon ar? which band is that ar? y got so many de, y gt Big Bang, gt G dragon, gt don’t know what Tarsha or wadever “(sorry, i really do not know how to spell the right name, if i spell any name wrongly, my bad!)

Sister: G Dragon is 1 of the members in Big Bang.

I: FML. U mean it isnt a band?

Sister: Nope, he is in Big Bang.

LOL! Is this generation gap? I was like…shit, i am really sounding OLD now.  But why does people actually like these Korean boy bands ar?
I was looking at the MV for the 13832820 time and i still do not find them cute AT ALL leh?
Ok, there is this blue hair dude with green eyebrows, he looks ok.
Sis say his name is TOP, and is her fav guy in the group. Right.
But the rest are like….cute meh?
I even asked her to please point out G dragon to me, as i was asking over Line, (an app on iphones and android) all she can tell me was “he is the most skinny dude”

I: The long hair on one side guy ar?
Sister: yea.

OMG, why would anyone think this is cute ar?!

Ok, i better stop here. I am sorry Kpop fans, i am really old already, cant blame ah, i am just not appreciative but i really  think the music is very addictive. Haha, and very nice to dance along too!

I also admire the fact that they are so creative in their appearances and make up, so yah.
Hope that make up the fact that “i do not know how to find them cool/cute.”  -_-

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Eh, who is G Dragon again??? Which one???? There is no one with long hair in this pic leh!

Ok, so much for Big  Bang and Kpop. Haha, as i was saying, i had my first Zumba lesson ytd with Sis and GF. It was mad fun. But Gf didnt like it much. Both sis and i were enjoying so much n i am yearning for  more. 1 hr passed by so quickly. It was really fun, we danced to different genres of songs, and of course, 1 of which was the 1 above, that was my first true ‘interaction’ with Kpop HAHAH!
Actually not exactly, just that i danced to it for the 1st time, Sis plays Kpop all the time at home and i just roll my eyes everytime.
We also tried street jazz, hip hop, reggae, disco, and many others. I was sweating like a pig and it was really fun, cant wait for the next lesson! 😛

Because the GF wasnt really enjoying, so we accompanied her for her fav Body Combat lesson, and you know what, i was so damn sure i cant even complete the class because it was already mad  tiring after 1 hr of non stop dancing.
But i did! All of us survived the Body combat lesson and i am extremely proud of myself.
Looks like my stamina is catching up and i am getting fitter! HAHA.

Before that, i was telling GF that i will never complete the Body Combat lesson because of 2 reasons:
1) It killed me last week and i sprained every part of my legs
2) After 1 hr of Zumba, i think i will prolly die  there if i continue with Body Combat. It was a back to back lesson, immediately after the Zumba, Body Combat continues.

But we did it! Pats on my own shoulder. 🙂  Did it.

You see, i mentioned before that Exercising really makes 1 very motivated and makes 1 understand that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Alot of times, we give up when we are nearly there, but if we endure that bit more, we will reach there!

Anyway, i have been pushing myself to work out recently as i was getting complacent. But thank  God i found new classes like Zumba and etc to keep me going! It is no longer just cycling and stepping machines, they are rather boring to me now.
Also, i have been lifting weights to tone those flabby arms and working on the various machines to tone the fat thighs. They are not skinny but they are not that flabby 😡 But….

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Please ah, this picture is definitely edited. If not my skin wudnt be that smooth looking.
It is filtered like crazy. But with phone app, not photoshop. i STILL do not know how to use PS. -_-
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Still a long way to go and i really enjoy sweating, and will continue exercising! I am also on a program that helps to build up my metabolism, aids reducing Visceral fats, (please take some time to click on the link of Visceral fats as it is apparently more dangerous than the normal fats that you can see with your naked eyes). I have been on this program for approximately 20days?
I can already see the small difference of my body shape but i shall sum in up at the end of my program and show some before and after pictures.
I do not think i wana show it now as there will definitely be more differences in the next 2 months, i will show my progress along the way though and reveal the program to you at the end of the program.  You be the judge and see if it is effective ok?

Will talk more about that program. Those that are keen to know can pm me at valenciafaithz.z@gmail.com.

Of course, i feel better of myself now because a good  change (to the body) is always a pleasant sight to the eyes of many, but most importantly, my eyes love what they see in the mirror. 🙂

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Random photo #OOTD

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IMG_20131002_6Pardon this super random weird pic, i just love it whenever i flex those hard muscles while fixing the hair.
I used to have really flabby arms, so i am darn proud of myself now 😛

Anw, my past week was busy planning for …Project L, and i managed to catch up with Alan and Zen (my fav maid. haha) over the Friday. It was also Felyncia’s Birthday, though we were never close, but i wish her a very good birthday and may she find her own happiness soon! 🙂

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We were chilling at some pub and  then went over to 1 of the thai joints. Not a fan of the place, but the company was good, my ex colls were there, catch up with them abit, and guess who i met? Shihui! 🙂

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It’s been so long, am i glad to see her again and she still look so beautiful. Thank God she still treat me as a friend as there was some misunderstandings in the past between us. Though we can never go back to those days but thank God we are still well. 🙂

I haven been hanging out for so long and i totally let loose that night and went home feeling a tad drunk. Went to bed at 5ish and woke up at 9 the next day. Made breakfast for myself and felt lik crap. Hangover is bad, but Hangover after so many years, is worse. I was like a walking zombie.

But thank goodness i had enough training back in those days when i was marketing for Lifebrandz, i managed to reach home safely. 😛 Ok, i have to include the fact  that i was marketing in that ex co because alot of crazy people actually think i was working as some hostess if i say my prev job needs to drink like a fish. Just a tiny clarification, thanks!

So Saturday, Aunt treated us to dinner and yah, the dinner was really good. In fact, if you ask me to choose spending $ at some restaurant or this place, i will not hesitate to recommend this eating place. It is located at Aljunied, in fact, it is very near to Aljunied MRT station, just beside it.
Every item from the menu is good and it only cost us $160+ for 6 pax. We ordered alot of food that day.
1) Marmite chicken
2) Braised Fish Steamboat
3) Kang Kong (Veg)
4) Xiao Bai Cai (Veg)
5) Salted Egg Prawns
6) Yam Ring

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The affordable prices of the food does not compromise with the quality and it is definitely worth it. However, the downside of the place would be the waiting time. It takes a longer time as it is always crowded, and the waiting time for food is rather long too. But that is small problem, i rather wait for good food than eating crappy food at some expensive restaurants.

Yeap. Address of the place is : 76 Lorong 25A Geylang

Anw, like i was saying, i was working out like a mad woman yesterday and i slept like a baby last night. Wanted to continue as a baby but of course, i cant, and i am here, dozing off.

Alright, i am really zonking out and i gtg, till the next post people! God Bless

Vdates – it’s been a while

IMG_20130904_2Hi everyone! Thank you for STILL visiting this space even though the updates are lesser and shorter.

Anyway, i am not really well, as mentioned previously and i am really busy planning some stuff. Thus i really feel sorry for not updating.
But initially when i started this blog, i wanted to write as and when i want to and not feeling obliged to.

I hate restrictions and i like to do things at my pace. Not a good thing because it reflects ill discipline, i noe. But honestly, blogging is not really part of the important aspects of my life as of now.

Alot happened and emotionally and physically, i am not able to handle my life for the past month. But all is good, nothing is too dramatic unless i allow it (which regrettably, i did in a few events)

So, i went to see the doc with Mum on 16th. Got my meds but not feeling much difference though. But i am glad i took the first step to improve things. Hopefully my condition can be more stable so that i wont hurt myself and most importantly, the people around me.

It was a fruitful day that day because we managed to do what we wanted and needed to on the  ToDoList.

I am really excited to introduce some new events in my life that are happening soon and i hope you will be as excited as i am too. Hurhur.

Of course, when 1 gains, 1 loses. I ‘lost’ 2 friends whom i was once closed with in the past month. I used to write a whole chunk of reasons why, just to defend myself in the past. Not anymore.

All i can say is, my conscience is clear, i do not need to pacify friends with kids behavior, i do not need to be interrogated, I do not need to please a Malebitch who is interested in my personal thoughts and wana gossip out of it.
I would also wana add that, i am indeed upset initially but after seeing the picture clearly, i dont give a shit to why would the wife of this friend arrange for friends gathering just the next day after we argue. The gathering excludes me, of course. you wana be scheming? Beware of Karma, thats Buddha’s teaching.

Another friend who seem so kind and full of Gospel preaching is now no longer someone i can trust nor believe. All i can say is, i understand that boyfriends are important, i have my moments of neglecting friends for boyfriends. But this time round, i see how a ‘preacher’ fails in actions, and she is supposed to be my spiritual buddy, my good friend and my insurance agent. But in short, during the time i need her the most, whether if it is during my sickness or whether it is related to the insurance issues, SHE WAS NEVER THERE.

So fuck off with hypocrisy and the fake whatsapp concern msges. Just Get out totally from my life.

I wana quit drama so pardon the french, FO. And to those that think i am the problem, perhaps i am really the problem. So it makes it better for them to lose me and vice versa. Hope that makes u happy.

Ok anyway, thank God my gf is still with me. we had our first fight during the time i went crazy a mth ago. But really, we are still as close or closer. Love her.

As i mentioned, alot has happened and i really do not think i wana pen them down 1 by 1. So generally, i am trying my best to summarize.

Sister has moved out to try out being independent and to take a break. Initially, we were very reluctant to let her do that but i guess everyone has to go through certain phases in life. I just pray that she is safe out there.

This Mid Autumn Festival, we will still meet to eat mooncakes for no1 can resist durian snowskin from Peony Jade, not forgetting the Dark Choc Cognac snowskin from Raffles Hotel. LOL. Yes, i bought them all without hesitation, i am a sucker for snowskins. 😛

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IMG_20130909_1Best Meal at the Most affordable price ever during the recent short trip.

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IMG_20130905_2I feel so sorry for being sucha brat to my aunt recently. I guess i really have alot to improve on. My temper especially. 😦

IMG_20130907_7Love this picture of my sis and i, discovered it in my Aunt’s Hp. Grabbed it! 😛

So anw, recently the family gathered to celebrate Aunt’s Bday and it was a happy celebration. The bill for the dinner was like $400+ for 6 of us. FOL. haha. It was really worth it because the food was really decent compared to the last place we went (i cant emphasize enough how bad it was, please read HERE)

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We went to Rama Thai Restaurant, it is a small restuarant that is seated along the street of wedding shops at Tanjong Pagar. Previously,i ate at this place with my colleagues and boss and we thought they serve pretty good Thai- Teochew food.
Thus i went back the second time with my family to try out more dishes. Do not be alarmed by the amount i mentioned previously, it was $400+ because i was greedy. I added alot more dishes on top of our set meals.
If you have a lesser budget but intend to have really good food, you may opt for the $28++/pax or $38++/pax set meals. Honestly, the quantity is alot and the quality is definitely worth every cent.

And yes, the set meals promotional price is available on weekends too, you might have to check if they open on Sunday though. I did not ask and even if i did, i prolly forgot. Here is  their Website: http://www.ramathai.com.sg/

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Was really happy that all are present this time round, for a birthday gathering. All of us were very happy, especially aunt 🙂 Well, it felt like CNY reunion and frankly, this has never really happen ever since God knows how many decades.

Even Uncle went! He paid the full sum and i felt bad because i was the 1 that wanted to celebrate for my Aunt, thus i sneakily hide half of the total amount in his room. LOL

We went back to Granny’s to cut cake and went home to crush after that, everyone was exhausted.

Btw, Happy Birthday Aunt, You are precious!

So, yah, i kinda jumbled up all the activities and stuff in this post. But yah. I am sorry. Haha. Rushing for time as i have other stuff to take care of.
Hope you dont mind the tiny bits of me being frank and loud, i cant and i dont want to contain inside me.

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But still, may God bless all! Till next update!

Acceptance.

Approximately 15 minutes ago, i was very depressed.

I was asking for a favour from my sister and although it is not unexpected that she turned me down, i still feel pricked because probably i still have hope in me (that perhaps she will show some care by saying Yes)

However,  she turned me down flatly and even say things like “you said you can do it alone”

Sure, of course i can do it alone.

I am doing it alone, arent i doing it alone from day 1?

I know that nobody is obliged to help me out. It is a dream that both of us wanted and since the day she backed out, i am still in this dream.
It is fine, i wanted it.

But despite the fact that she isnt in this with me, i still think alot of how to share this dream with her, should this dream harvest into something fruitful.

But i guess, that is just one sided.

I guess what i do not understand is not about why she reject my plead for help.

I do not understand why as blood tied kins, how can someone so close (that came out from the same tummy) is able to feel indifferent when it comes to rejecting a favour asked. She feels nothing, AT ALL.

She just threw me a sentence “i dont feel like”

Now, that is very hurting.

I would offer my help with all i can even if she says that she is able to do it alone. Is that very stupid or Kay-Poh of me? Should i mind my own business in future?
If i do, i will feel uneasy and selfish, perhaps that is my character. I cannot bring myself to say things like “well u wanted to do it alone, so you do it alone, why are u complaining?”

Because i will feel for the other party, i will know how stressful she is, i will try my best to help even if she does not ask anything from me. I cant bear to see her feeling stressed all alone….

So why cant she do the same for me???

20minutes later, which is now…

I feel much better.

I guess i have only Jesus to thank.

I thought of Him. 

If you have to know, i can share with you.

Look, my belief and faith towards Jesus is strong but my love for Him isnt strong enough……Why would i say that?

Well, I am sure HE is there for me every second and is waiting for me to turn to him and give HIM some attention. But honestly, i didnt.
Most of the time, if i am not busy working and planning out my dream, i am watching some TV drama series.
I only talk briefly to HIM for 5minutes before i sleep and less than a minute when i wake up.
I am sure HE feels as sad as how i feel now….

But if HE were to feel hurt and expect me to be as patient as HIM, HE would have given up on me long ago because i can never be as faithful, i can never give HIM my constant attention.

But HE loves me still. That is unconditional love.  That is Acceptance.

Thus, as i am typing this, i can feel my heart lighten up, feeling much better. This is the 1st time i try thinking of Jesus when i m very depressed and helpless, i am ashamed to even say that this is the 1st time but indeed it is.
In the past, i just allow myself to be sad and wallow in self pity and sadness but this time round, i have too much on my plate to handle, i cant afford to waste time in sadness and insecurity.

I cant be anymore thankful, thank you Jesus, thank you for making me understand that every1 has her flaws, and i have my flaws too.
Most importantly, i cannot and should not expect anyone to be as “helpful” as me, there are things that i cant do too and if anyone expects that i do the same thing and behave the same way as them, i would be unhappy too.

Maybe this lesson is for me to learn – everyone has different character and personality, she might be less helpful but perhaps she is more calm when it comes to arguments. I shouldnt expect of her to be the same as me like how she wouldnt expect me to be the same of her. Maybe i should let go and stop expecting. Somethings can’t be forced but some relationships are destined, we cant change that. Thus we should really learn to Accept.

Thank you God.

Now, you might find that this is silly, but i really did manage to feel better and now i am off to do more constructive things, to plan for my project.

I am not trying to help anyone here but i just need an avenue to pen down my thoughts. I haven been opening up ever since i was told  that i am ill and that i need a shrink…

I might find strength in my Faith, but if you are not a believer and you think that Jesus is like Santa Claus, perhaps you can also see things in another perspective…
There will always be someone that is nicer to you than you know, he or she will accept you unconditionally, it might be your Mum/Dad, your Spouse or Partner? I wouldnt know, but you know, because he/she is the 1st person that came to your mind when i mention this.

However, this person has never once expect the same from you, he/she forgives and loves you even though you are not as nice as them. This world is never fair, quoting my sister “if the world is fair, all fingers will be of the same length”.
While you are upset with others failing your expectations of them, there are people who are equally upset with you but still accepting you… Maybe you would like to do the same, by accepting another person who sin differently as you?

I am just saying. Like i say, i am not even sure if i can help myself because of my illness, i am not so noble to help the world. I just wish to pen down my thoughts and share if i can.

Till the next post, may Love take over all. God Bless`

You are Perfect

Heys`

I am currently busy, super lack of sleep and kinda sick. Too much to handle currently and thus i wont be blogging anytime soon. Really feel so sorry to my blog and the tiny pool of readers. I will try my best to come back soon.

Meanwhile, the song above for myself and you!

🙂

Ephesians 2:10 ESV

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Vdates Aug (1)

IMG_20130807_1Heylo!

I recently went to get my fringe trimmed. Boring me has officially return to having “bangs” again. Yeap. Boring.

I wanted so much to persist on having long and flowy fringe like my GF but i couldnt take it no more. The fringe is getting on my nerves by getting into my eye all the time.

It was kinda random because i just walked into a Shunji Matsuo after my workout at the Gym and requested for Bangs. I hope i look better now. GF said that i look like a kid but really, i wish i do. But ney, i dont  think so.

HAHAAH.

All along, fringe always has the higher votes, but who cares right, i gotta like what i see in the mirror and not accommodating to what others like. I used to keep my fringe long just because my ex bfs prefer that to “bangs”. All the while in the past, i was pleasing others. But honestly, if a person is gona love me any lesser just because of my hair, then he can go love others. I dont need such love. But of  course, i dont mean anyone must love my dirty hair if i never wash for weeks la.

HAHA!

Ok anyway, i love this bangs now. No matter who say what.

🙂

IMG_20130804_5the before and after!

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Nothing much over the past 2 weeks. The usual, i hit the gym, stay home for movie marathon (alone and with Mummy), hang out with gf, played with babies, went church.

Frankly, i still go to church despite whatever is happening and despite the uneasiness in me. Thus i was hoping that the msg i receive can be pure. Last week’s msg was good and i did alot of reflection on myself as well. But honestly, it will be better if there wasnt so much hidden implications. I mean, it is a personal feeling, sorry if i wronged anyone but i love Dr Robi. I just wish that at certain point of time, there wasnt so much awkward hints of personal attacks without mentioning of names. I wish there wasnt so much clapping and cheering for the wrong reason.

Watched so much movies that i really cant remember how many. Haha! But i think the 1 that left a deep impression on me was Unfaithful.

I used to avoid watching some shows and betrayals/ adultery-related is def 1 of them. I guess it was due to an old scar in me. But well, everyone has to recover somehow or rather and so i did. The show was a long one, by Richard Gere and the beautiful Diane Lane. It is so rich with emotions and very realistic. But somehow, i can relate to how the characters feel in the show. Still, i was cursing the wife because she hurt the husband so deeply while indulging in her sexual desires.

Oh well…

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Anyway, i took some pictures while trying some clothes. Guess which 1s did i buy?

I love them all though.

Like usual, i did not edit nor photoshop the pictures. I did filtered them though. I would also want to keep a record of how the body looks as time passes while i continue with my exercises.

The fact is that nothing much is shed, i am still not a Size 0. Oh please, i am not even a size 4. I am a size 8 to 10 and very occasionally 6 for certain brands.
But really, i am feeling better of myself now than 6mths ago because although not solid fit as in FIT, i am not as flabby as before. Especially my arms, and i believe my legs are slowly but surely becoming tougher.
It feels better no matter what i am decking on my body now, at least i know it is not on a pile of soft flabs. HAHA!

Some commented the clothes i wore above look disastrous on me, while my collgeaue just told me 1 min ago that she feels i have been exercising wrongly because she feels i still look ‘fat’ wor.

Ok, to say i am not offended by either is  gona be so  fake, i am affected but trust me, it is only to a certain extent.
In the past, i would be so affected till i feel inferior of myself, till i doubt myself, till i feel so scared whenever i head out. I would feel terrible and i would ask myself why are people looking at me.

Not anymore.

Really, i dont want to swear but trust me. Things are different now.

Look, my colleague is alot bigger than me and sometimes i really doubt her agenda of saying mean things to me. Of course, i am giving her the benefit of doubt too. She might really want the best for me but i dont think i should listen to someone that eats and eats and goes on diet pills. She doesnt exercise at all, and thus why should i be listening to her?

It doesnt help when i caught her staring at my new clothes. my body and my hair. It is super creepy because i caught her doing that while my back was facing her. Why would i know – you asked. I have a mirror infront of me and her expressions was reflected – crystal clear. Scary much.

Honestly, i am not a confident person which many thought i am. I have been through alot of things and along the experiences i have, i build myself up slowly and i am still not 100% as confident as you might think i am. But i am thankful i started somewhere, since i dont know where.

If you are a inferior person, I hope you can too, Look, you gotta start somewhere and you gotta do something about it. I am tired of wallowing in self pity and self blame. Arent you?

I know it is tough but slowly, surely. Remember that nobody is confident from birth. Sometimes i confuse myself too. Sometimes i mix up humility with inferiority. It is tough for me as i always thought that being humble is good but sometimes i tend to be too humble for my own good and it turns into ugly inferiority. It is really hard, and i m still figuring which is which. Dont ask me why because i do not know how to explain, it is just me.

But really, trust me, not everyone views you as how badly you view yourself. If you know you are doing the right thing and you know the right thing you do can produce right result, What does it matter if who say what?

For eg. my colleague. She is always saying i am fat when she is so much bigger than me, when she just eats and does not exercise. I and probably the whole world knows  that, exercising will be a long term beneficial plan than diet pills and supplements. I and probably  the whole world knows that i will look more freshened up, my muscles will look so much nicer and i will look toner than before.
Does what she says actually matters?

IMG_20130811_005455You prolly seen this in my insta. I shall repost for those that havent.

It really doesnt matter what others say.
Because not everyone is gona like what u say what u do what u talk abt what u wear what u watch whatever.
Some might just be jealous, some are just opinionated and the others are jus genuinely not liking you.
What matters is, do u like yourself?
Do u like what u say/do/watch/wear or eat? If u do, that settles it.
If u trust ur own judgment and preference, that settles it.
Nobody feels gd abt u if u cant even feel good about urself.
Check that mirror and see wonderful image and let those critics go on, they cant see a bigger picture.
#confidence

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This is just an example i would want to share with you. Sorry if my example isnt great enough but really, because i go through criticism like you do, and this is so real and instant (happened about 1 min ago), i just have to quote this example.

Alot of others doubt me too, saying i am not spiritual enough. But really, i do not have to account to anyone about my spiritual being, i know it is enough as long as i account myself to God. Some others quote bible verses and some others preach alot but i really dont see them walk the talk anyways. So, what you see might not be what is real anyway.

What i am trying to say here is, as long as you have a clear conscience of what is right, and you are not guilty of doing the wrong thing, who cares abt what they say?

Beauty is subjective, you can be Jessica Alba and there will still be people saying you are ugly. Thus lets not even touch on that. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Confidence is Beauty but Arrogance is not, neither is Inferiority. I am very much aware of this thus i am reminding myself constantly.

I hope you too, keep that in mind.

It is definitely not easy for me to type these out because now and then i struggle with insecurity. It was just weeks ago that i cried out to Mel about my chest problem (i will leave it private and talk more about it next time)
It was just days ago i keep feeling bloated and fat.

But it is also God’s way of showing me that, hey, Jennifer Lawrence is so gorgeous and her body is so hot despite not being a size 0 or 6. She isnt your typical bombshell nor Kate Moss but boy, her body is so hot. (and she is weighing above 60kg fyi)
Yeap, i watched the Silver Linings Playbook over the long weekend. Haha.

Jennifer-Lawrence-e1355349012587Credits of images: healthyceleb.com

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It is also God’s way of showing me that alot of people only talk the talk and not walk the talk when situations arise. That certain person who preaches alot is now missing in action.
I shant judge but yeap, alot of times it is like that.

Not many might know about your struggles and your credits for doing well, but you know, God knows. Sometimes it is enough.

Before i end this post, here is wishing everyone that God show u (including me pls) how much potential you have, and how beautiful you are and for those tt are too arrogant, may God shows you defeat so you practice humility.

images

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images (2)In my opinion, Leslie Cheung has to be the most beautiful Man in Asia besides Takaeshi Kaneshiro.
Given the fact that Leslie Cheung is all natural, he wins Kaneshiro of course! (the latter had plastic)
But even Leslie himself was being insulted as ‘ugly Gay’. *Roll eyes- since when sexual preference has to do with looks right
Ryan Gosling, almost the next perfect thing in Hollywood, was just criticized by my friend this morning of being ugly. I mean, who the crap will say that?!

Now i really hope you see the picture, nobody will earn the liking of everyone. Not even Ryan Gosling nor Leslie Cheung.

I wish i can write more but i gotta go, i promise more for next time round! 🙂 Meanwhile be blessed and browse my random pictures. :p

IMG_20130809_233128Supposed to be a drinking session but it turned out to be durian + Red wine session over at Zen’s crib over the long weekend.

IMG_20130809_151701Pigeons around my house, lazy to even move when i am near.

IMG_20130808_215508Woo! Mum and my treats for the PH eve.
The Pink 1 was really very attractive, even more attractive after you open the packaging.
Taste good too! 

IMG_20130807_224924My 1 way ticket to failure of diet plan with my gf. 

IMG_20130809_014543The show i didnt manage to even start, gona watch it this coming weekend!
Gerard Butler~

IMG_20130810_225042Indeed and i am facing this dilemma non stop. 
I guess i will figure it out.

A song i long forgotten if not for the movie. My fav~

Stevie Wonder – Don’t you worry bout a thing

Happy Birthday Mummy Love

Hola!

It is finally the eve of 2 PH that is connected to the weekends! Wee!!! I really cant wait for 6pm to come, the start of my long weekend~ I want nothing but my bed. Thanks.

Anyway, this post is a little late. My Mum’s bday was yesterday and the celebrations we had was sometime back.

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Firstly, i really want to say i am sorry, for being so harsh on Mum on days she couldnt express herself properly, on days she refused to listen to me, on days which i feel lousy. I am so sorry  that she has to put up with me constantly. Frankly, she show me how unconditional her love is and in order to love unconditionally, 1 has to ACCEPT – accepting whatever lousy characteristic and habits of the loved one.
I always say i love her unconditionally, but Love is patient and i am not even patient towards her, whenever she do something that doesnt pleases me, i get pissed. I am terrible. I am terribly guilty. 😦

I have to remind myself daily that i will not scream nor shout at her  anymore (despite situations), and i will always give in to her because she is getting old and she might not be as alert as before and that i ought to (REALLY OUGHT TO) be very patient with her.

I know i cant do it, i seek for prayers and i am praying that i am able to love her unconditionally like how she loves me, thru Christ.

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So, even though Mummy might not be able to read this part, i still feel better writing it out because i do not want to portray  that perfect daughter image but in actual fact, i am actually far from being perfect.

Having said that, even though i might not like Mummy all the time, i Love her always.

Thank you God, for giving me sucha nice, strong and loving Mummy. I really thank You for her. I thank my Mum for being so strong, so loving, towards me and my sis. Thank u Mummy that you have never thought of leaving us nor giving us up ever since the day Dad let us down. Thank you for your love Mummy, your love is very strong.

Anyway, 6th of August is the day my Superwoman’s birthday. We celebrated the week before at MBS for a weekend staycation.

The hotel is really overcrowded and all weekends are fully booked till next year. I tried asking a few friends that are connected to the place but all of them told me that the hotel is fully booked for weekends. I was rather disappointed.


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However, thanks to my wonderful pretty lovely cutesy GF, i managed to get a room! HAHA. It was on a Sunday though, thus sis and i have to take leave on Monday. Doesnt matter because Mum secretly wishes to stay at MBS for sometime. But i do know that all she ask for is peace in the family and us to be safe. She is not someone that will desires or lusts for luxury.

So we checked in on Sun, GF and Chris bought a Birthday Fruit Tart (big enough for 6 pax) and we did the usual lah, singing and clapping along with the Birthday song.
After Chris and GF left, Aunt (yes we invited Aunt too!) Mum, sis and i went up to the Skypark and took some pictures, walked around the boring shopping mall and had dinner.

We were quite lethargic actually.

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IMG_20130729_6Please ignore the Likeaboss/modelwanabe pose of sis, it is unintentional, it is the Sun.

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I guess there is nothing to be unhappy about with the service of MBS. You guys ‘know’ i am quite a fussy person when it comes to Service (even though i do not admit to that, lol)
But really, we do not need to comment much on MBS’s services. I am saying this not because it is a huge name nor because it is ‘branded’.

Even the food of their ‘affordable and casual’ class of bistro possesses restaurants’ standards. A must try is the ‘Ayam Penyet’ at A Taste of Nanyang. It is affordable, costing less than $10 a plate. We did not try any fine dining because Mum is definitely not into that. Knowing her, she will reprimand us for spending a bomb for something so little and knowing her, she rather have local delights. :s
So anyway, if you are not intending to spend alot since the room alraedy costs quite a bit, try out A Taste of Nanyang  on level B1. If not, you may also try ordering the food from the room. I had Fish and Chips and it is okok, cant really remember the price for that but  price is approx $20 for Wanton Mee, Never get to try the raved about Fine dinings there, perhaps another time.

Mum watched her tv prog on channel 8 and Sis and i strolled around the mall to digest the food in us. We popped into 7-11 and ended up buying more snacks. LOL.

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Went back to the room with lotsa food and we spent the night chatting away with FOOD. Mum was feeling tired and she slept before we did. On the next day, Sis and i went pool dipping and camwhored like crazy. Then we checkout and brought Mum to lunch.

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I was feeling so CRAZILY TIRED pls. I always feel tired whenever i stay in hotels because i can never sleep well outside, i cant even slp well on my own beloved bed, not to say other beds. No expensive beds can make me crash immediately.  Sis then went to the hospital for her check up , Mum and i went home after lunch.

Mum was happy although she keep nagging at us for the surprise as she hates surprises because she will want to prepare this prepare that for event like that. I also do not know what is there to prepare. LOL.

On 3rd Aug, we went to House of Seafood for her 2nd celebration. This time round, we included Aunt as well as Granny. The place was raved like crazy by my colleague  and online but OH please, listen to me, DONT GO. DONT EVEN TRY. I will do a Vshare on House of Seafood in my next post so i wont spoil this Bday post.

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Yesterday was the actual day of Mum’s hatchy. I intended to bring her out for dinner again but sadly, i kinda lost my temper on her in e morning. I want to kill myself! :s

She was asking me for advices for some work related issues which i hope i wont get to write it here because if i do, it will be a bad and big thing then. But i was pissed when she refused to listen nor believes. I hate it whenever i am asked YET doubted at the same time. It is very frustrating.

Thus the morning was not very good for us. Things got better in the evening and we went for dinner downstairs my house. I bought durians for her as she was craving madly for durians. We finished 2 boxes of durians (that is a total of 3 med size durians and 4 small durians) on the night itself. Thankyouverymuch and FML.  I probably will cry when i see the weighing machine this Thurs.

So, her Bday ended with a prayer from me. My sis is still at Taiwan so she sent back her wishes and we are waiting for her to be back on Thurs.

Well, i do not know how to end this post so i shall end it with a simple prayer for my dearest Mummy, do pray for her as well ok?

May the Lord bless her with His presence for His presence is nothing but the best we  can ever ask for.
His presence heals and He brings joy and peace.
May He shower all His love and blessing on my Mummy, may Jesus bless her with Longevity and safety daily.

Amen! 🙂

 

 

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