Actually, i never want to touch on such topic as it is really sensitive. Ok, perhaps not sensitive but it is not really worth debating over- because it will take ages and there will not be any conclusion anyway.
It is the usual thing – different perspectives from different individuals.
We should respect each other,i agree with that. We should respect each other’s choices and thinkings.
So instead of arguing our own perspective through, perhaps we should let it go and stop teaching others what to do and what not to do.
Take for example, Xiaxue and her pregnancy and her baby. I see so many people teaching her what to do and what not to do during her pregnancy.
I was not offended because i do not even know her personally. I was not really angry but i was disturbed when these people started to wana take control of her pregnancy and life. I was questioning how Genuine were these people, do they truly care for her or were they just being 1 of those that want to get involved in everything, even with the person they do not fancy, even with the blogger they detest?
Yea, human should not tell each other what they should or shouldnt do. But sometimes, genuine advises don’t hurt at all.
SO ENOUGH OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL TALKS and back to what i really want to say!
Anyway, why i am writing about this is because i was pissed this morning.
Yes, i get irritated rather easily. Thus i went to take a breather and calm myself down before i write this. LOL
Ok, relax, it isnt something so serious anyway. Hurhur.
Let just say, i have a friend name B.
I shall call him B because his gf is some lunatic stalker freak -i think. (sorry for that name because you will find out later)
I do not want to be called a r/s wrecker again you see. (just in case)
Ok, B sent me flowers out of friendship and to cut the long story short, his crazy gf found out from i dont know where and he questioned me about it.
I was lik WTF?
Pardon my French.
But it was really WTF to me… i mean, i do not appreciate being questioned about if i went to tell the gf about the flowers.
This is plain ridiculous.
1) if you are game enough to send flowers to other women other than your gf, then u r prepared for any questionings from the gf right?
AND THAT SHOULDNT BE MY PROBLEM???
2) why would i go and tell the gf because i didnt even have the intention to break or wreck up any r/s.
Especially Not yours for sure. I am not that desperate for a r/s, a man, or YOU? (not a question, it is a statement)
In Fact, i have never thought of us in that way.
Ok, i admit the things i said and did might have misleading effects, shrugs.
Oh ok, Sorry.
I was just pissed the other time, for being questioned if i went to tell the gf. Even if i really like you and went to tell your gf, you dont freaking question me like that. Because i shouldnt be the one carrying the burden of this ‘problem’ and you should be the one.
Yes, sorry to say that. I know it is a bit unfair to Men but this is how it works what. If a Man cant even account and stand up for what he did, what kinda Guniang is that?
Is like, you heard of ‘Gentleman’ and not ‘Gentlewoman’ right?
But thank God i did not do such despicable act if not i wouldnt respect myself either. But I wouldnt even do that even if you are Brad Pitt lah.
Hope i am understood.
Then, we are cool with things again because he apologized. I am ok to let matter rest.
We chatted and randomly, although not surprisingly, i saw how many sleazy FB pages and Weibo pages he followed or liked.
I dont mean to stalk but it shows up lah. Look, it is Internet, you can see who you befriend and what pages you like right?
(I have alot of guy friends who did that and i am used to seeing such but honestly, i am not trying to say i am free of lust or anything but i just dont go around liking pictures of Penises. )
Yes, i mentioned that alot of my guy friends go around liking those sleazy FB pages and websites that shows boobs, almost naked or naked photos of all kinds – thais, chinese, japs, wadever nationality.
Like what kind? You ask me.
Here it is- an example:
I wouldnt judge and say they are bad guys but for sure, i definitely wouldnt have a good impression on someone lidat or consider dating someone lidat.
I know i know i know that it is guys or even human nature to look at sexy and intimidating sleazy pictures, i sometimes have that urge to take a 2nd look at pictures of long legs and cleavages too – well we cant deny a woman’s shape is 1 of the most amazing creations ever, Right?
But liking such pictures, websites, contents and FB pages – SO FREQUENTLY and it turn into an addiction and habit…is a little too much isnt it?
Not to mention, it is abit degrading.
I mean, why would one need to be so hooked on such pornographic stuff? It is ok to look, but to look at them on a regular basis like you are addicted to it? Not sure if that is Normal, yes it is def Common but Common doesnt means Normal.
Actually… Lust and Addiction doesnt necessary has to be linked to sex nor drugs.
Lust can be anything, like a gal can actually lust over Chanel.
You know what i mean? And Lust is actually very unhealthy.
Thus i wud say also, that any brand suckers are also very unhealthy.
In my opinion.
Ok anw, back to where i stopped off. B actually told me that it is a virtue to be honest and open about such addiction.
I AM SPEECHLESS.
How can doing something so low, be a virtue??? Whats more is, you have a GF for goodness sake?!
I was very pissed by such lame excuses for such cheap doings but is fine, i mean, i am disgusted because of the excuses and lameness.
But as i am nobody but a friend, i have no special/ romantic liking towards this friend, it is fine. Not like i am the wife or what right.
I feel sad for the gf though.
Then, today..we were talking about some silly gossip- Aaron Kwok splitting with his beau of 7 years.
It is really silly because nobody wud bother much about these celebs break ups. I am just being the usual me, bored and wanted to just read about such gossips.
So i randomly told him that Aaron Kwok is quite a jerk for being irresponsible, errr i dont like that ex gf of his anyway but i just find him irresponsible lah – as a man.
But i do like Aaron’s face. LOL
He spoke up for Aaron Kwok as usual, because apparently Aaron Kwok is his idol or something.
I expected it but i didnt really expect someone to be so oblivious just because the person who committed the irresponsible act is a Man, and an idol.
Look, why did i say that Aaron Kwok is irresponsible is because i feel that any man who wana be serious with his gf would have married or proposed sometime after they have dated. Of course, time frame is not the most important issue in a r/s.
Some people get married after 2 mths of dating, some take 10 over years. But honestly, anything above 3 years is alittle too long to me.
I am not sure about you, but the really responsible men i met or know, cant wait to marry the gal once they are financially stable, and emotionally stable.
And that dont really take 7 long years.
Sure, i did said that time isnt the most important issue in a r/s but frankly, how many 7 years can a gal holds?
Even if she doesnt mind (which i doubt. yes, such gals exist but what are the chances- maybe 2 out of 10?)
7 years of youth, from a gal who is in her prime, in her twenties till now…i think the gal is in her 30s
All given to a man and this man has never given her any status by acknowledging her as his gf.
Thats worse than not proposing lah.
and thats the irresponsible part i am referring.
I seriously find that its a tad too much and yes he happens to be a celeb but we all know he is almost 50 and i dont think he needs to ‘maintain’ any image (if he has any except being a playboy)
I am sure the fans or whoever that are concern will be happy for him if he can settle down right?
So whats the problem? Why didnt he admit his r/s with this gal despite many photos taken.
So is she a fling or what?
Someone that he isnt proud to even acknowlege or what?
Ok, in case you think that i am being too uptight about Celebs gossips…i nida emphasize, i am talking more of the r/s issue and not so much on Aaron Kwok and his Ex here.
My point is, despite any happenings (whether the gal is good or not, whether she wants marriage or not, whether she is a bitch or not), if you are still dating her after almost a decade (a decade is 10 years, so 7 years is…ok lah, almost a decade what) then you should at least admit her as your gf or have plans to marry her right?
If she is a bitch and she isnt worth marrying or if you are not sure if she is the 1, u shld just break off right? So you wouldnt be wasting her time and your own time right?
I feel it is a Man’s responsibility to be able to give sense of security to the woman he loves or wants.
Lets not look at this case as ‘Aaron Kwok’ the celeb.
If it is just a normal man, what other excuses would 1 have? (but as i mentioned before, it doesnt matter if he is a celeb or not because he is already outdated and nobody cares about his celeb status now because he isnt BigBang or Justin Bieber and i dun think it is wrong for me to say that people wud rather see or hear that he settle dwn than breaking another gal’s heart AGAIN)
So B was saying that i do not know what went wrong in the r/s and i shouldnt judge and all.
I shouldnt judge but i aint saying what the others are saying of Aaron, I aint saying that he is a jerk because he sleeps around or because he is known to be a flirt and all.
My point here is, no matter who, celeb or not, a Man should be responsible and should be able to acknowledge the gf (he has never do so even after 7years) and thats the only right thing to do, as a Man (despite status) Isnt it?
Well, he argued with me and pulling all the other philandering Male celebs in and blaming them, digging their scandals and all.
I was lik What The Heck?
I aint arguing here as a Fan leh, i am stating the facts about Irresponsible Men!?
Ok, so i cant be bothered to go on anymore.
Check this out, this is ridiculous:
B: maybe he wanted to marry her already leh?
I was like… why am i wasting my time talking abt this shitty piece of news with someone like B?
Then i remembered : i aint talking abt Aaron Kwok, i am in fact talking abt the responsibiliy of a Man lah!
And i was kinda pissed because i was putting myself in the gal’s shoes. I think if i have a daughter and my daughter is dating some1 for 7 years but the guy has no intention of marrying her, i will ask her to wake up her idea.
But! But if she didnt want to get married, i will prolly ask why and feel upset inside me (LOL) and perhaps just let her be…
BUT IF THE GUY SHE IS DATING DID NOT WANT TO OPENLY ADMIT THAT SHE IS HIS GF FOR 7 YEARS….i think i might disown her because i cant believe i will have sucha silly daughter! Haha. Kidding but i will really be very upset for her.
So, honestly, i wonder how B will feel if this happen to his daughter…like dating a irresponsible guy who refuses to acknowledge her as gf.
But as expected, we cudnt come to an agreement on this ‘ A MAN’s Responsiblity” issue. So we kinda stop talking.
Frankly, it is not B i am complaining. I know everyone has their own thinking and i cant make every1 tinks like me.
But if the guy friends around me, if my dates, if my co workers think and behaves like B, i am screwed, i will cry.
1stly, i cant appreciate Men lusting over sleazy stuff online OPENLY (you may lah, i mean, you are an adult so you def have the right to make choices ma) but i dont like such men lah.
(Oh, even worse for guys who are attached. I know there are plenty. But i think there is still a small group of Men in the world that doesnt do such stuff lah. )
It reflects alot on a Guy i would say.
Imagine seeing Obama’s fb being linked to various sleazy pages…Omg Gross. dont even want to think about it.
These overly lustful men can also say they wont like a petty pricky woman like me too, i am fine leh.
Yes, some do it in the dark, thats worse. Definitely.
Integrity is doing something right even in the dark. So it will be best if a guy do not lust over such stuff so much, YES EVERYONE IS LUSTFUL I KNOW but you do not have to make it an addiction or habit right!
(is like, everyone likes fried chicken but do you eat it daily just because you like it? No what, you wud think of your weight, your shape, and most importantly- your health what! No?)
So, if you really cant be healthy and you need to …you know…look at boobs and feel high behind that keyboard, FINE.
But at least be discreet lah.
I am not teaching Men to be sneaky ok, but i really dont get it why some men can feel no shame and say it is a virtue to be open about it.
Need to be proud of being open about seeing naked women bodies daily meh???
I cant appreciate people (Men especially) making excuses for their wrongdoings. Sure, i do that too, sometimes.
Every human err and i agree that nobody should judge anyone about that.
But honestly, making excuses for being irresponsible is really not sexy lah. Especially when a Man does that, it is so so not appealing.
Not Macho at all.
Ok, i aint a perfect woman, and i know i shouldnt even judge or discriminate horny and irresponsible men…LOL…but i just cant help it but write what i feel here. Because i am triggered to.
I believe almost every woman would feel the same too.
Of course, i admit that there are irritating things that women do that will piss a man off too. I cant deny that at all.
Thus we are all not perfect.
But….. But… But….What i wrote above is really….cant explain it, just something from me that i wana pen my views on…
Can’t help it if you dont like what you read.
Conclusion is…there isnt Right nor Wrong but whatever a person does, determines his or her character value.
How much are you worth then?