Like what the title suggests, alot of times, when 2 parties are in a fight, people tend to wonder who is the one that is at fault and who is the real victim.
Also, at alot of times, it is not that simple and easy to tell because somethings can’t be viewed from the surface.
For example, someone that is constantly portraying that image of being spiritual and kind vs someone that has no intention to hide his/her true feelings.
Who will you sympathize? Who will you trust then?
Yes, i am indeed talking about myself and someone that i was once very close with. I have mentioned briefly previously that our friendship has deteriorated to the worst. There is no room for reconciliation as far as i see. I do not think any reconciliation will happen without Transparency.
To me, any r/s requires transparency and that is what it is lacking in this friendship.
I do not know if i am blogging this with anger, with disappointment or disgust. It is a mix feeling and i dont intend to act like i am an angel. But i hafta admit i am damn pissed off by hypocrisy.
Honestly, i no longer care what the ex cell group think anymore. I mean, there used to be a group which we called “cell group” but ever since the group split due to some crap reason, there is basically a division.
I am glad that i am no longer with certain people in the group because as if the world isnt bad enough, the crazy amount of judgments and discrimination is making me suffer. Whenever that happens, i will be told that these people/ problems are here to train me to be a better person.
Yes, i dont deny that. God does send people to our lives to mould us. But frankly, i have enough of these problematic folks at work, i really dont see the need of mixing around with more negative people (wad’s worse is, they claim to be your spiritual family).
In short, it is just stupid to suffer on and am i glad to be out of the group.
Ok, having said that, i am not saying the entire group is evil. I really received alot of help before, from different people in the cell group and they are not all bad and mean. The 1 thing i cannot stand is how mighty some they think they are, there is no humility but only rigid ways of manipulating.
I was judged constantly for every word i say. Anything i say or do can be mis-interpreted and deemed as non-spiritual.
One good example : i am sick and when these group of people ask me if i m ok, i replied that i am sick.
Guess what’s the next reaction from them?
They: You cant say you are sick! You cant proclaim that you are sick! If you do, you will really be sick!
Ok, i do believe that the mouth should proclaim the good and not the negative stuff, but i dont intend to lie either. If i am sick, then i am sick lah!
Y should i lie and say that “OH NO I AM SO DAMN WELL”
I will get better isnt it. Must i lie to get better?
Cant i say “look i am sick but i will recover”
So, i guess God thinks it is enough, enough for me. Thus i am out of that silly hypocritical group.
So, yup, i do not care what they think of me anymore. I do not care if they side this hypocritical person that i fall out with and i do not care if they bitch about me behind my back. How would i not know? They bitch about anyone that is in the group, people who left, people who are still around, basically everyone and everyone is at fault EXCEPT they, themselves.
Everyone is at fault but when it is their turn to be wrong, there is always a very good enough reason to back themselves up.
This sounds extremely familiar with the person i argued with and till today, she is still acting angel infront of me and the rest.
I asked her sometime back: I asked you if you did it the other time, but you said no. Now that you talk about it, it seems like you did, so did u or did u not?
She: Errr. Yes, i did.
I: Then y u say you didnt when i asked you then?
She: oh, because i do not want to affect you, i do not want you to lose faith.
I was in total confusion. Why would hiding something from me be good for me? Why would telling the truth to me make me lose faith? Lose faith in what? In who?
So i continued asking…
I: lose faith in what?
She: I do not want you to think that a spiritual person can do something not right and cause you to lose faith in your walk with God.
HONESTLY SEVEN SHI KAI QI, i didnt say it then because i was totally manipulated, but try telling me that now and i will ask you to SHUT THE F UP.
Stop using God’s name in vain, 7. That is so disgusting. Please.
As for what is that “something she did”, i shall not mention as it is not really nice. I am gonna tell the truth but i m not intending to divulge her personal stuff here.
Like what i told her, i really do not take this shit. She can act like a victim all she wants and go ahead and say it is me that hurt her, that malign her and wadever. Her bf can continue calling everyone that knows the both of us and check if she is indeed so shitty as what i have told him. I am not the one sleeping beside him anyway, so there is no need for him to trust me.
Before i continue saying anything, maybe you can take a look at this and right, this is what i meant by being a Hypocrite:
And just mins, or the most, an hr after i read the above, guess what i see next?
So much for all the LOVE GOSPEL.
She commented on my insta picture, dont ask me what is she trying to say, i have to read it a few times to understand too.
Language aside, see how a person can change from a loving angel that stands by God’s kingdom, to a person who accuses.
I have made myself very clear in my reply to her and if you are still not getting the picture, perhaps i can fill you in. She is saying that i am not talking to her face to face but spreading stuffs abt her behind her back, telling people how displeased i am with her. She assume that whatever nasty picture or post i posted is about her. There was no name mentioned but she just choose to believe it is her i am talking about, without me hinting or anything. She just conveniently match whatever i am saying to herself.
So, the reason why i have gave up meeting up with her to talk it out is because i am extremely tired and it is really not easy listening to lies when you already know they are shit excuses and lies. So why would i wana meet up and waste everybody’s time then?
i have ENOUGH, and i really mean ENOUGH. There are numerous times of me wanting to salvage, i apologized whether it is my fault or not. I just tried to be nice, i prayed and i endured her lies as much as she endured my temper.
Yes, she was the 1 that kinda help me through my lowest period, she was there for me whenever i needed help a year back and she was really really caring back then.
I am not a person who bite the hand that feeds, i am definitely not a disloyal person that can just disregard someone that helped me so much before. Of course, it is up to me to say what kinda person i am but if you really know me, you would know. You would know that if you help me with 1 hand, i will and i can do anything to help you back, to repay you with both my hands.
But, in this case, does it mean that i am indebted to her forever even if she is lying constantly and disrespecting this friendship/me?
Frankly, there was much struggle inside me and i really felt affected initially when the friendship starts to break down. But as time goes, i became very numb towards her dishonesty and eventually gave up.
I want to spill so much but there are just too many examples and honestly, i dont feel good writing much of her personal stuffs here.
In conclusion, this friend has preached too much, way too much to me, in God’s name but i see ntg of her actions showing what she preaches. Which disgust me.
Secondly, as a friend, she was only there for me when she was single, which is fine too. I mean, everyone does neglect their friends a little once they are in a r/s. But, leaving me alone for the longest time once she is attached. Lying to me and manipulating me with al the bullshit excuses. Wads the point of that? I rather have no concern than fake concern. That is disgusting.
Thirdly, as an insurance agent of mine, there are numerous time of MIA actions from her despite promising my Mum that she wud meet up with her to do the claims and etc. It is fine if she is busy and stuff and couldnt make it. But at least have the decency to text or inform if she cant make it right?
NO NEWS from her at all and only till midnight 12am, she replied that she was tired and busy while what i heard from her bf was that she was already with him having dinner in the evening. Yeap, have time to eat, no time to text to inform. That is very spiritual and responsible.
I would love to add that, none of us (neither me nor Mum) asked for her to come, neither did we fix a date for her to come. She was the one that said that she would be coming over on either Sat or Sun. We let her do the decision making, let her choose the dates and time and we didnt even ask till 9pm on Sunday after hearing NOTHING from her.
So please, Gary, Bf of hers, if you are reading this, please STOP speaking up for her because there is simply no excuses for being irresponsible.
You told me your patients play you out sometimes, you said that they do not turn up despite making an appointment with you sometimes.
But you know what, they are YOUR patients, they are your customers.
In this case, i am a customer, a friend.
I can give and take as a friend, and i can do that if your gf is responsible enough to inform us and not keep us waiting. We didnt even text her till the very last minute of Sunday. (Look, she promised to come either Sat or Sun, if we that mean, we would have texted her on Sat to ask WTF is she)
As a customer, i will totally make a complaint towards sucha agent.
This is not the 1st time that she is behaving lidat?
Previous times, wrong information given to us about the claims, we accepted that, fine, since she said that she will compensate but that is really not the point.
And Btw Gary, please dont come speaking to me telling me you want to know the whole damn shit.
You should stop being a fool yourself first because if i were you, i would be damn pissed off if my gal has to smoke in secret and claiming that she didnt, INNOCENTLY after spraying on some perfume.
Another Lie for you.
And the church people who came to me in shock asking me is it true that she is a smoker.
I mean, cmon, i used to smoke and i still smoke very occasionally.
Smoking doesnt mean one is bad but “hiding” shows alot of the person.
I have never denied nor hide like someone does but well.
I heard abt the lies she told to the people in church, i just kept silent. Recently, she even told me that she has received NO help from a mentor who she respect and claimed to love so much just months before something bad happened to that mentor.
Initially, she proclaimed her love and respect for him, she urged me to stand by this mentor no matter what happens.
THEN, She told me to go ahead and join that mentor and that she will not be involved with that mentor.
How DISGUSTING is that? As if that is not enough, she got the cheek to tell the mentor that she is just busy and that she cant afford the time and etc.
So much for being grateful. When something happens, she chose to go the easy way out. That, of course is none of my business and i cant judge but that enough is the ultimatum for me. I seen enough of her and that’s it.
Lastly, i really would love to say that, i have not gone around telling people how displease i am towards her. I did revealed to a few person, that includes her BF (purely because i thought he would be fair to judge since we were once all friends, i admit that i was habouring the hope that he could help to mediate matters but i was wrong), the new insurance agent ( because she needed to know why i want to change my agent to her), and 2 of our ex cell group friends.
That is a total of 4 person and that is not EVERY1 i met.
But since she want to say that, fine, once and for all, i will write it here. Not to shame her but to clarify myself.
At least i admit telling those 4 person.
She went to tell the same people about how mean i am, crying out to them that i bully her and want to pick fights with her and etc.
I haven even mention that and she wants to turn around and say it is me. ME ME ME ME ME. It is all me.
Look, i cannot conceal my anger so perfectly as you 7, i cant act like an angel and proclaim i talk to Jesus 24/7 like you did. I cant pretend that i still care for you like how you pretend that you still care for me, according to what i heard from the people you spoke to.
I cant pretend to the ministry that “opps, i forgot i have to serve and i wore slippers, thus i cant serve!”
In actual fact, who would forget about serving and wear slippers on purpose just to avoid serving?
Ok, in short, you want to pretend this and that, fine fine fine.
You cant serve the ministry because your forgot that you have to, and thus wearing slippers do not allow you to serve, but in fact, you are so kind and spiritual and you want to serve.
You do not have to account to anyone or explain to anyone because you only account to God and you are of clear conscience.
I just cant be so pretentious like you are, and i cant pretend to be spiritual and kind.
So, you are the best, i am the crap, i hope you are happy.
There are lots more examples which i really am tempted to tell but i think i shall just leave it as it is, and move on after this post.
I have decided that my life doesnt need such hypocrite to be around, my Mum need not be disappointed again because i have changed an agent and the new agent is extremely nice and helpful.
From today onwards, i want ntg to do with this woman.
At the end of this, i just want to say Thank you for all the help, but no thanks for all the lies, and lastly, i would love to ask you “is that mask of yours so thick that you can actually wear it constantly acting like an angel without being discovered?
is playing victim the latest trend or practice of yours?”
IT IS AMAZING HOW ONE CAN TALK SO MUCH BUT SAYS NOTHING.
AND HONOUR NTG THAT WAS BEING SAID.
SEVEN SHI , The preachings done with God’s name and scriptures really made me shiver and tremble with fear.
How can someone that quote JESUS and preaches like a pastor day and night, on social media platforms and in real life, be so gross n goes on lying and lying behind everyone that does not know the truth.
Putting on an angelic and innocent face, pretending to care, infront of all the people.
Ido not wish to cover up for this person. Not a bit. ANYMORE
You can say i am ungrateful and not being graceful.
But there is simply no reason why we should cover up this deceitful person just because of grace.
Winning an argument and losing a friend might be silly.
But there is Zero cost for losing such a ‘friend‘, because with a ‘friend’ like that, who needs foes?
If she cant respect the friendship and me by lying non stop and taking me for a ride, then why should i hold back anything.
Exposing the person is not Tarnishing a person.
Dont even think of shutting me up just because of your guilty conscience.
And STOP using God’s name. FOR GOD’s SAKE.
To clear the air of being maligned as being ungrateful recently. I just simply mean the above and anyone that is not of integrity, i have all my rights to say what i know. I can confidently say, trust what you read.
It is not that i cant let it go, it is also not that i m so free to harp on it but i really cant bear to see more people falling for sucha trap.
Some loving tender care fake-ness and then being led to lies and more lies.
always remember, the guilty person keep quiet not because she is innocent and magnanimous, but more what can a guilty person says towards the truth?