Argh, i gained abit of weight (i dont know if is consider as abit or alot. lol) recently. Y cant i be skinny all the time and not worry about wad i eat! HAHA. Ok, thats the b*tchy side of me.
Okok, at least i am not like SUPER FAT and ugly. I shld be happy and just go lose some weight instead of hating. haha. 😦
Good day! It is Friday! The whole world is happy today. haha.
I am happy too!
I am kinda happy. But then, i sometime wonder, why should i be happy because of situations? Shouldnt i be happy all the time? Why am i only happy when certain situations happened according to my way and liking?
Very irritating right? I have to even find reasons for being happy.
To be honest, i just do not want to build my emotion on situations and human. Thus, whenever i am upset, i will ask myself: why are u upset? Dont you know that God has taken care of your life? Whenever i am happy, i will ask myself: Is gd that u r happy, but will u b able to stay stable and happy when this happy incident doesnt happen anymore, or will you turn disappointed or bitter?
Yah. I really just do not want to build emotions on situations that human created. yea.
Anw, i am very blessed, because i nv thought i will be able to encourage people. (but, YES i did! :p)
Usually, i get advices and encouragements from others all the time. Yes, i am not exactly independent, i like to learn from people, or you can say, i am not really a leader.
However, God says ntg is impossible right? So i guess i have no choice bt to believe that i might be a leader someday. haha.
I aint doing a fantastic job at encouraging and helping the people who needs more help than myself. But i am EXTREMELY grateful and touched when my friend (lets just call her ‘Mimi’ as i dont want to let the whole world noe who i am talking to. it might or might nt affect her) told me that she feels exceptionally encouraged by me and all that i have done (i honestly do not think i did alot, really) and said have greatly impacted her. Honestly, i aint trying to brag, my point is, i am really very encouraged and i realise that when God is at work, He wudnt just benefit 1 person, but all that are involved in His work will be benefited. Perhaps, after talking to me, Mimi felt better from all the crap she was feeling,? 1 thing i know for sure – through her, God gave me the chance to serve Him, to love, to show love, to be more tolerant and patient, to be more confident and feel better of myself.
Praise the Lord!
I dont see myself as a patient person, i like to help people yes, but when it comes to counselling, i will feel abit obligated and uneasy. I mean, who am i to counsel people? Why should i counsel anyone because it might backfire or it might not even help the person, and if it really doesnt work out, then i am wasting my time!
I soon realised that, those excuses start to chew on me whenever i feel like saying no to people who needs a listening ear. Thus, yea, even if it is at my inconvenience, i will try my very best to listen, even though i might not be giving the best advice. 🙂
All these wouldnt be possible if God didnt close certain doors in my life. It will take a long long time if i were to tell my story from the beginning. Thus, all i can say is, i am glad i am on God’s path. I am confident i am.
If i am still in that company (i was already a Christian when i am in that co but i wasnt stable and i just go with the flow and environment), i would still be an arrogant stuck up b*tch, despising people, choose people to befriend with …and ETC.
Now i look back, i was like.. -_-, i feel embarrassed for myself, i was lik.. WHO ARE U TO DESPISE PEOPLE?!? OMG.
If i am still in that r/s, not only will i be suffering constantly, i wouldnt have time or mood to go to church, to do what i am doing now, to love. Because all i have is fear and my time n life will be compromised.
If i am still in that state, in that company with that bf, i would have missed out so much time with various friends, wads worse is, my Mum will be SO neglected!
Omg, the list goes on. I believed i talked about this topic before yea. But ya, this sermon i listened to before i went to sleep last night, really really touches me so deeply. I feel that i can relate to the sermon totally, every single word.
And yes, despite feeling upset, disappointed and stress, towards every closed door/opportunity now, i will tell myself NOT to dwell in the emotion and get out of it asap. Because we are to love Close Doors like Open Doors!
Open Doors are obvious blessings, they are your new opportunities, they are your Obvious blessings from God.
But Close Doors, are in my opinion, blessings in disguise, hidden blessings!
They are as important as Open Doors. Why?
Look at me, i am a LIVE example. Haha!
Alright, i better get going and do some work, thus, i shall stop here, will leave it to you to enjoy the word of God by Pastor Joel!
p/s: I am thanking God everyday for closing doors for me. haha, and for not answering certain prayers of mine, for He knows whats best for me and thus He ignored the silly desires that i prayed for. Rem to count your blessings n appreciate your close doors!