Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Posts tagged ‘Jesus Christ’



I have exactly an hour to finish this blogpost and i hope i am can rush out everything in an hour.

If i do not write it now, i doubt i will have anytime to till weeks later.

Anyway, i have plenty of updates but because of time constraint, i am still thinking what should i cut short.

To start off, i would like to Thank God for His promise that come to pass. (I urge you to read on, of cos, with no obligations)

Mum went through Water Baptism on 10th March, Sunday at our church City Harvest Singapore.

I honestly teared alot of times even before she went through the actual ceremony because i was very touched by how each step God directed us.

Finally, Mum and i are 1 people 🙂

Let me give a small brief on the whole journey Mum took before she baptise herself. (I actually realised that it is not that short)

It was almost impossible for her to even believe the existence of Jesus Christ. She has been a Taoist all her life, since born. Mum came from a traditional Chinese Family and the family is Taoist.

To them, Taoism means praying to their very own ‘Chinese gods and deities’ and they believe that these gods are more ‘powerful’ and more ‘suitable’ (even if Jesus Christ existed), in fact these gods and deities might be the only gods.

Yah anw, thats Mum and her faith since she was born.

I was also a hardcore Anti-Christ since young because of what i was taught since young. I hated Church and Christians. In my opinion, these Christians are the most irritating people in the world because they are preachy, they cant stop judging, they think they are the most noble and greatest people in the world. In fact, i guess i hated the people more than the religion itself (back then).

However, i believe the existence of Jesus Christ, but i just feel that i do not want to know Him because i rather stick to ‘my own gods’.

Looking back, i have many chances to know Jesus Christ. I can even recall each event:

1) Pri sch – tuition at a Church. I went there for free tuitions because it is free. oh ,my pri sch bff is a Christian and thus she brought me along.

2) Secondary Sch – I am still in touch with this Pri schmate and we happen to know some peeps from CHC. Honestly, that was 1 of the worst period because i have never feel so disturbed. I was turn off because the way they show concern to me was really more than i could take. Moreover, i was at a rebellious age.

3) Poly Days – I cant rem if i encounter any chances to interact with Church nor Jesus Christ during this period.

4) Working Days – Plenty of encounters.

My ex Boss was a super Pai Kia (gangster). Ok, he isnt exactly a gangster, he is just a hooligan. LOL.
But the smart type lah. Cant explain but he isnt those that loiter around Geylang and with no income. He is quite good at what he does.

He did asked me to join him at his Church and he explained Jesus to me. Pardon me but i nida be honest so at tt time, I was lik “F*** OFF. i dont want to know about Him. I know HE is some ang mor with beard. I noe HE might be God but i have my own god so please spare me the agony. Please let me pray to my own god and respect me pls”

He never gives up on me but i never give in either. After he finally ‘conned me’ (haha) to his Church, i was lik OMG. PLEASE . I WILL NEVER B A CHRISTIAN.

This was in 2004? i cant really rem. But i was really not into all these preachy stuffs. Even though my life was not great and i was not happy with life and all,  i dont believe anyone can help me. I was damn lost.

My ex colleague was also sharing Jesus to me and i was like WTF. (pardon the french again, but i really really felt that way and i dont wana act nice and all with hw i felt)

Then 1 day during that same period, i did gave in a little. I rem i was drunk and i mumbled this “Look, if you are real, you grant me wish n I wud believe you exist”

Nope, it didnt happen, my wish didnt come true i brush this Jesus thing behind my back.

My ex colleague was still comforting me, of cos, she wud do it in the name of  Jesus and i have no idea why i cry when she was talking about Jesus. I mean, i wasnt exactly emo over Jesus, i was supposed to be sad over my own issues and there i was crying for whatever reason-idontknow?

Maybe it is just me bottling all the stress up for too long, i thought.


Still, i didnt keep this Jesus thing very serious and i brushed it away again.

Mum was all along in the picture during these days. She prayed to alot of ‘chinese gods’ for me. I dont remember those names of the gods but she just never stop praying, because she really feel the ache seeing me so lost in life, failing in things i am involved.

Nothing helps.

We went fortune telling and i was told over and over that if i pray to this n that, i will get this n  that, i will be this n that.

I even changed my Chinese name because the fortune teller say it will bring me luck.

This fortune teller, apparently is very famous in Sg.

However, 1 week after i changed my Chinese name, i got into a car accident. So much for better luck.

Next, i met Nic, my bf then. He  was a Catholic and yah, i have to go church with him often.

We eventually brk up and i went back to church a few times on my own after the breakup but eventually i stopped going because i couldnt receive the Word there.

Well, at tt time, i didnt want to commit to any religion anymore because to me, all religions exist and i just have to pick 1. But i wasnt the least interested to pick.

Then, everything falls into place, i got myself a new job, i knew Allan through work and he brought me to church.

It was CHC and yes, i was super skeptical but i didnt want to turn down a potential working partner that might help in my job back then.

I wasnt very impressed because i really hated how loud CHC is, and i was still haunted by that bad experience i had with CHC during my teenage days.

However, i said the Sinners Prayer the 1st time i visited the Church. I guess i was so lost that i cant b bothered anymore, i guess i was empty and i just needed some people around me (you know, church people are super willing to do that ), but i do not mean the boyfriends kind.

So i was in church and i really felt happy, very happy. I have no lack, i mean, i wasnt as ‘well off’ as now, i was in debt, i was single, i was just lacking of everything in life, $, achievements, romance and etc.

But Still, i dont know why during that period of time, even though i was lacking, i felt i have NO lack. It is a strange feeling and i also cant explain why my body produce Endorphin on its own.

However, i grew tired of Church and i grew lazy, i admit my Faith wasnt build strongly and i backslided.

You must be thinking why am i talking about myself when i am supposed to share about my Mum’s journey to Chritianity. If you read on, you will probably know that it is closely related.

Frankly, from the moment i went Church and Baptism, Mum was not happy.
During my Teenage days, she would say nasty things like “dont involve me if you r really going to church, you are blind to even trust church and  just dont get me into trouble by going to some western God” (ok, i dont know what trouble she was talking about???)

But because i am already an adult when i went for baptism and i thought she prolly do not want to say much.

Well, after i left church for 1 year, which is also around the same time i met my Ex. I suffered the most during that 1 yr.

My mind wasnt even on God nor Church though i still rem i am a Christian but i was really weak.

My mind was more on my Ex who gave me tons of nonsense like betrayals and physical beatings and abuses.

I was in hell for that 1 year.

After the break up, i took quite some time, with the help of my churchmates, leaders, pastor and of cos, GOD.

I returned to Church.

My life changed ever since.

I am not super rich now, i haven met anyone i fancy nor fancy me, i am still me.

But it doesnt matter, i know i am really living well now, not sure about the near future but i like it now, i like the ‘alone feeling’ now.

I am not super rich but i am getting better off than before.

Besides all that, my life was good in the sense that i am more responsible, i love people more (i hope,haha), i def love my family more, i def live better with them with lesser quarrels (i used to quarrel with sis and mum v often and there was no peace at home), there are abundant laughter at home now – more than ever, all in all, i grew up.

Stop smoking – a huge thing in my life as i felt i smoke almost al my life, since 14. I begin to talk more like an adult and think more like an adult (according to people la. how can i say tt of myself, i still feel i m like a kid most of the time!)

In conclusion, my Mum finally worry lesser for me. She saw alot of changes in me. Not only that, she sees the changes in the family and herself.

Yes, she suggested to me that she might want to check out what this God is all about since she saw my changes, since i always boast about Him.

She visited church a few times, she prayed, she teared, she felt God. Please dont ask me to explain how, i mean, i can do that but as i mentioned before, it is very personal. I cant explain or describe in words, you know, such experiences is so personal, it is really tough to put it in words.

I asked her if it is her own feelings or emotions but she said no, she has never encounter such feeling when she was a Taoist.

I would say the same too.

She attended church and she kinda slided away but she still comes to church w me occasionally. She does believe in Jesus.

After alot of struggles and fear, she managed to step out by Faith and she went for Baptism.

I was worried initially that she doesnt know what is Baptism all about. I was worried that she baptise for the sake of it and not understanding it.

I mean, she isnt so sure about the whole Christianity thing even though she is aware who is Jesus. Even i cant say i know the bible well.

But I am very blessed, Seven, my churchmate,my bff, told me to let go n let God.

True enough, i did that. Things fall in place.

God really does His part n i am so wonderfully blessed because throughout these days, even before this baptism thing come into the picture, my leader Eng Han and his Wife Janet have never stop asking about me and my mum, helping us in whatever needs.

I shant elaborate but frankly, Janet really helped alot, despite her own situation now, she never stop showing concern, finding out the right procedures for my mum, for her to be baptised, made alot of phonecalls and etc.

On the day of Baptism, Eng Han brought his whole family to church to support my mum. We were extremely touched.
Thank you Eng Han, Thank you Janet, Thank you God for wonderful Leader. No matter what happens, he is my wonderful leader that God sent.

Ok, anyway, back to Mum. She looks and feel happier of cos, now that she is a baptised Christian. Even before she was baptised, ever since i turned Christian, Mum got to know a handful of people who are Christians too- they often encourage her.

To me, God really does His part and everything just fall nicely in place. I do not need to ‘brainwash’ or ‘psycho’ her.

She is now telling me she will be going back to church soon. Please pray for her guys! 🙂 I certainly wish to see her going more to church, i will do my part in giving her more knowledge on the Word, perhaps i can get my friends to give her Bible studies too! Please pray for us!

I really have alot to share on our journey but it is very long and i am not sure if any1 will want to read that much of info. haha.

Of cos, it was never easy to make sucha big decision for both of us, i cant possibly write down everything and every miracle but trust us that we came a long way.

I am now very grateful to God that my Mum is saved. I am still praying for the rest of my family!

I mentioned i was very irritated by some Christians in the past, in fact, i have to admit, back then, CHC has a history of having more aggressive preachers/believers. I do not blame them, sometimes i feel i behave the same way too.

Trust me  that we are not paid to be so diligent. We merely want to share the happiness we found. Perhaps we really do it the wrong way at times, but do forgive us for being aggressive at times. (Nobody is perfect right) We just feel too much and it is not that i do not respect you, i might love you too much to let you stay in the stage you are now. Because i have tasted the worst (for me, it is almost worst) stage of my life, and i manage to come out of it just because i knew Jesus, thus i really want you to experience the same happiness as i.

However, i have learnt and is still learning how to respect and love people around me regardless of religions. I have to bear in mind how irritating it is when a non believer has to tolerate preachy messages by believers.

Pray for me ok! haha.

Ayte, i used 1 hr and i havent finish blogging, this post must be super long.

I will be back – signing off now, continue tomorrow! 🙂

So here i am, continuing where i left off.  So…

In conclusion, Mum and i really tasted the sweetness and thus made our decisions.  Once again, i am not converting anyone. I understand how i might have irritate u for the above but i just have to say what is in my mind right.

If you are not comfy, which i understand too, i used to irk at the preachy stuffs too, you may just skip reading (this post) lah. I dont know about you, i hafta admit, whenever i am not comfy (about topics on Jesus and Christianity)back then, a part of me was actually aware that there are certain bad habits (i had) that i wana avoid facing.
Also, a part of me is stubborn and not open minded about Christianity, it is not the religion i loathe. It is perhaps, just me…I was really too strong opinionated to accept the fact that i am actually curious about this God.

Well, not sure about you but in anyway, be happy for me and my family ayte? 🙂

Ok, pictures pictures.487310_547500898613945_1191150806_n





I wana encourage some Christian friends here, if you are praying for your unsaved frens or families, please do not be discouraged.

The day will come, and it has to be God’s timing.
After all these years, i have learnt  that no matter how perfect our desired timing is, we cant beat God.
His timing is indeed the best.

Dont Give up! 🙂


Joy to the world, Jesus came! (Updates + early Xmas post)



Merry Xmas! I love December, my fav mth of the year. Yah, my fav mth is not May, not my bday mth. I love xmas.

*Would love to thank WordPress for this awesome snow feature! So cute isnt it, seeing snow falling dwn while reading. Weee
(I changed the theme of my blogskin, this isnt exactly my fav skin tbh. I like white skins. But i will kp it till Jan because of the falling snow effects. I tot a darker skin goes nicer with the falling snow)

 Even way before i am a Christian, i love xmas. I thought it is a very romantic festival. Haha. i dont even know why. Maybe it is in the mth of December and even though there will never be snow in Singapore, but we are all yearning for snow in our hearts! 🙂

However, after i became a Christian, Xmas means more than just romance/fun/parties/turkeys/music. It means very very much to me. It is a day to commemorate You-Know-Who. Haha. I LOVE JESUS!

Yes, it is to commemorate His Holy Birth. Words cant describe hw thankful i am to Him. Born to earth to suffer as human and for us. Ever wonder y the whole world celebrates Xmas though not everyone is a Christian? I am not sure too, but i (hope to) believe there is a place for Jesus in everyone 😛

Anyway, many people do make use of Christmas to get themselves intoxicated in clubs. Tsktsk. If thats what you are intending to do, please dont ok? Use this day to spread love to more people (more on that later), show love to your family and loved ones 🙂 Jesus is about Love, Christmas is about Jesus, so…Show Love!

I am listening to Mariah Carey’s Christmas album now. My heart is dancing. hurhur.

I was feeling chirpy when i start writing this post till those nasty colleagues start irritating me again. I kp telling myself i need to really chill.


L stands for 1 of those nasty people i face. Me is me la.

L: eh, y is M so much better than u ah? y isit that she can do it and you cant ar?
Me: I dont do photoshop, i dont know how and i stated that i am a Marketer and i dont touch design works. I conceptualize but i dont do manual design works.
L: dont know why she can and u cant.
Me: y dont u get her back then?

Look, i wasnt trying to b mean, i am extremely pissed off yes, bt i really hope they can be clear abt my jobscope. I tried my best in designing using Microsoft and if my best isnt enough, then i guess is obvious whats best for both of us right? I duno y people here likes to demean people lidat.

Another one added in:

A: Oh, we cant blame u. The previous gals are more intelligent generally.

(yah, call me sensitive but does she mean i m like…stupid? i dont meddle with designs but it doesnt mean i didnt contribute to the company, moreover, i am never a designer to start with)

On my 1st day at work, i was told that i am ugly, I am not pretty, I am merely ok looking because of my thick make up (n i only put on eyeliner and foundation at wrk). I am really ok, (if it was the past, i would b really upset). What i cant accept is, how can they be so rude huh?
I was told by the people here abt hw nasty is the wrking environment and hw nasty is the boss.

Oh, and i realised, they might be talking abt themselves since day 1. Really.

So, thats about my working environment basically. Everyday, there are gossips flying around and there are hurting words and statements floating around. To be honest, i am not very happy but i have told myself to not be affected by such people…though is not that easy.

Anyway, enough, because the more i talk about it, the more i m bitter. I might as well touch on happy stuffs.

Ok, this Xmas, i will probably spend with my mummy. Though she sleeps really early. I will see if there are other plans or anything. Yes, i admit it is kinda boring to spend with the tv and your teddy bears. I do not particularly need a bf to be with me but it will be nice if you can spend with a loved one. My friends are prolly nt really planning for anything. I am still thinking what can i do to make my Xmas more meaningful this year and not just spend it like any other year.

1 year flew pass and i remember i was a total wreck 12 months ago. A total wreck that cries everyday. haha.

Actually, looking back, i dont think i achieve alot but i think i am better off, and is SO MUCH better off, after 12months.
Seven said that i achieved alot in this 12months, well, thank u my dear  but i personally dont think so.

Maybe i can list down what r the changes that took place and hw my life is better? Yea.

1) No longer in fear, no longer tying myself to the bondage of fear
2) No longer is abused physically and mentally
3) Spending more time with family, get to know and understand Mum’s thinking, feelings and her life more.
4) Earning better than previous jobs
5) Spending more financially on Mum, providing a more comfortable life for her
6) Serving in a ministry in Church
7) Helping out in various voluntary works
8) Manage to control my temper though not fully but am more disciplined
9) Manage to noe how to save $
10) Manage to be less calculative with $
11) Learnt how to pray with boldness
12) Learnt how to not feel lazy (especially when needed to wake up early to do hardcore labour works for some poor families)

Actually the list can go on but i cant think of anymore now, so make do with 12. Oh ya! Haha, there is this song call 12 days of Christmas! And there is an Indian version, it is super cute. I posted in my FB. I shall post here. Haha.

This Christmas, Mummy is going to Church with me to celebrate again. I cant be anymore happier. Last year, she missed the candlelight service, this year, she is going for both candlelight service and main service. I am also praying hard to bring my Aunt along. Pray for me ok!

My friends, Gary and Seven, did their part in spreading love for children at a charity event last week. Though we are not exactly doing the same thing together, but i feel happy knowing that, though we are not in the event together, the 3 of us are actually doing our part for the children/needy this Xmas. I participated in City Harvest Church Bag of Love, it is completely voluntary and i am given the chance to buy gifts for the children in the children church.
We can choose to give to the kids from Children church or the kids from JAMs church (these kids are mentally challenged).

Here is my gift bag to the kid at JAMs Church! (though i do not know which kid will get to receive my gift bag, but i pray that God bless the kid n shower the kid with His Love!)



 So this is Winnie the Pooh Bottle. Cute right?
I bought all the items in blue, because i thought it is nicer than errr Pink? Of cos, i hope the volunteers in church will help to match the right gift to the suitable kid lah. Dont think they will give a girl this bag since the items are all blue and alittle ‘boyish’. However, i thought, a girl wont mind the color and can use the items too but if i buy pink….not many boys would like?

How Cute! Mickey and Minnie Pencil Case.


PhotoFrame, i dont know what else to buy and i just grab whatever i see.


Painting Palatte


I won this Monkey at a Catholic Church CharityFair. I was there with my ex Nicholas several years ago. It has always been wrapped up since day 1. It is still VERY NEW, so i am not giving away items i dont want ok. I just love this monkey and honestly, it is not very difficult to give the items that are purchased like the above. But it is not easy to part with something i cherish, and i thought, since i am giving a gift, i should give with something i find hard  to part with. Thats where the real blessing goes right? haha. ok, perhaps only i think this way. But anyway, the monkey is on its way to the kid! May monkey bring along my best wishes!


I forgot what is the name of this Elephant! Pencil set!


I love drawing whiteboards when i was young but mum didnt like it so she always refuse to buy for me whenever i beg  for one.
Even up till today, she insist that the marker is ‘toxic’ and it will be harmful for kids who come in contact with the marker pen -_-


The Complete set 🙂20121201_153947 There is this distributor near my place. Thus the above are not very expensive.
Not to say i am cheapskate, but what i mean is, you can get nice stuffs at a value for $ price also.
I checked for the quality too, and it is really not ‘cheapskate’ at all!


Mascots around the Church for Family weekend. Lindy (beside the skinny Koala)  is the lady in my Ministry group 🙂IMG_20121130_6IMG_20121130_5


IMG_20121130_4Had Dim Sum Dinner + Desserts with my family on Friday evening last week.

Mum says there is no space for Xmas tree.
But i am going to Daiso anyway, to see if there is anyting i can find (to decorate).
(hopefully my 2 days  leave – this week, will be approved)
Lol. i remember how i used to hang socks on my bed and my sis’s bed when we were young. In order to not disappoint her, i would put some fake pressies, like sweet and lego pieces into the socks and tell her it is from Santa.

So, there you go, my updates. I promised to continue from where i left off (my last blog post).
However, not in the mood to write about disappointments today.
But i will definitely touch on that, later.

This Xmas, i urge you to spread love to people around you, or just do something to share and give!
This is a way advance Xmas post, maybe i will be back with more xmas posts!
Because i will never get enough of Xmas!
Ayte, gtg
Till then.


Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Amazing and i wonder when will i know how to love like the above.

Anyway, I started serving a ministry in church. Initially, i have alot of agenda for serving. I shall not reveal much though, nothing evil, but i thought about alot of things before i decided to even consider.

After i consider of going into a ministry, i argued with myself on the ‘pros and cons’ of serving. Look, basically, serving God and His people shouldnt have any cons but i manage to convince myself with a few reasons that are not so valid.

Firstly, the 1st thing that came to my mind is that…cmon, Sat is a day for sleep and i should wake up without the help of the alarm clock.
Yes, church is at 5pm and i have sufficient time to sleep till church begins, i can sleep till noon. But if  i serve, i would prolly have to wake up 2hrs earlier? To wash up, have lunch and prepare etc.
And what if i head out till late the previous night?

Alot of other thoughts came to mind and i am sure it is not from God.

How can i put up with being so lazy. Is sleep really that important in life? Yes it is, but i am sure we can sleep all we want when the time is right, when we are old or sick, when is time for us to sleep forever.

As i am arguing my laziness with God, this verse came to mind: Proverbs 20:13 Do not love sleep, or you will become poor; Open your eyes, and you will be satisfied with food.

Honestly, i am still struggling with my weakness, though sleep might be 1 of them, i have other worries but i believe, because i am serving the almighty God, He will not allow temptation that i cant bear to cross my path.

Besides, i feel extremely happy to share with the different people on God and his wonderful amazing works, the differences He made in my life.
My 1st time serving last week was a fantastic experience. May God bless me with more! 🙂

It is challenging at the same time because you cant explain with logics and words on spiritual experiences. I have many skeptical friends who come to me doubting God and Jesus. It breaks my heart that somebody else is doubting my beloved Father and Jesus. I really feel heartbroken when some1 doubt and say nasty thing about them because i feel how real THEY are to me.

I cant explain fully sometimes, there are millions of reasons why this happened, why that happened, in the bible. There are people saying that bible was written by human and etc.  and i thought – Yes, some1 has to be of physical form to write but it is prompted, guided, instructed by the Holy Spirit.

Yes, I firmly believe that.

1 of my close pals even challenged me and said that he went researching in library for years, on Christianity.
and i thought – Honestly, what is Faith? It is a leap of  Faith to believe in the unseen.

Jesus Himself said: Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

I am not in the position to convert anyone but i would like to emphasize that what Christians should and will have with God, is a relationship, NOT a religion. To understand Christianity, it needs more than just reading and researching.
If you really need and want to know HIM, you have got to experience HIM.

No offence to the other religions, but when i was asked if i ‘encounter or experience’ the other ‘Gods or deities’, i can safely say..NOT really.
But i did saw miracles performed by religions. I cant really explain that but honestly, they are like magic than miracles…in my opinion at least. I was made to worship out of fear and i can safely say that, there is ZERO feelings, NO LOVE, invovled. They are strangers to me, that ‘will bless me’ if i offer joss sticks and as long as i worship them. Again, this is my personal experience and i am not against religions.

All i can say is, there is NO r/s nor love in that and i did that for around 24 years before knowing Jesus.
My life was empty.

I am not trying to convert anyone here, i just want to speak up for my Jesus. People that doubt HIM should never assume HE never existed. I mean, you may doubt but you cant be sure of your own assumption.

On the other hand, i cant describe my encounters and experiences with Jesus to you, even if i do, would you believe me?

Quoting Pastor Phil: You will never believe no matter how many miracles you seen or heard. You will only believe through the word of God.
Honestly, to me, no matter how many million times of miracles and testimonies you hear, you will only believe if you go through 1 miracle yourself, in another word, experience HIM yourself.

Anyways, everyone has their own timing in coming to the Father. He gave us the choice, but i am thankful that i am special because i manage to cross path and even be HIS friend, daughter, in my lifetime. 🙂

Sometime earlier, i was helping out the hospitality team in my church to minister to a group of Koreans.
1 of them is my friend Daniel Jongyup.

He is back to SG after he went back to Korean in Feb (end of internship). Daniel and his church members (New Eden Presbyterian Church ) went to the Native village of Malaysia for a mission trip and transist in Sg to visit City Harvest!

It was really fun knowing them and they are all nice and fun people. Many were touched by Pastor Kong’s msg that day and i was extremely touched too. I can never forget that verse Pastor Kong repeated so many times:

Hebrews 13:5 -6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have,because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”[a]

So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

May God bless Daniel’s church, of course, its members and its pastors. We will meet again!

Btw, i am currently reading this book given by my friend – Heaven is for real. (if you have not already know about this book :P)

Have been wanting to buy it and finally i got it, for free! haha. It is a nice book and i am half way through. It is highly recommended, you may find out more on this book at the following website:

Ayte, thats all for today, 2 more days to weekends! God bless every reader a good week ahead!

You are here with me †

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