Yeap, it has been quite sometime since i last blogged. A month of being missing in action might be the norm for most people but looking back, i used to blog weekly, if not, bi weekly! Goodness! I am hoping that i am not turning lazier but the fact that i have to convince myself i am not….
Ok, anyway, let’s just say i am busier with new stuffs and i have to commit myself to the more important things.
I was thinking what i should blog about since most people usually would do a flashback on 2013 or coming up with a list of 2014 resolutions.
I guess i do not fancy the latter so perhaps i will just do a SHORT flashback on 2013 because honestly, i cant really remember much of what happened in 2013. (Maybe i do, but there are alot of things that i have chosen to forget)
So… let’s see…
In Year 2013,
I am with God and never leave HIM in anyway. I am still rooted in a very nice spiritual family – BBG.
To others, they might think that BBG is unlike the Church i used to go but i am very sure this is the place God wants me to be in.
Thank you God, i believe you are moulding me in Your way and blessing me in Your way too.
I am closer to my family of course. My Mum, my Sister, my Aunt and all. However, it wasnt really a good year for us, Mum was hospitalized for her weak knee and Sis and i have to visit her daily and took care of the house. Now, dont u go judging us. It is really NOT easy to do all the chores that Mum does. You know it perfectly well unless you have a family of your own.
Well, good thing is, Mum recovered and her being her, she is strong enough to look pass the fact that she is ageing though she can be rather negative at times. But alls well.
Sis and i faced the biggest challenge ever as we fought like crazy. We really felt very sad and bad that period of time, we have done everything we could to reconcile and in the end, she had to move out to cool down for a period of time… But thank God, she came back and she came back with an open mind and thank God, she is more kind and considerate this time round.
But all in all, i am just thankful that my family members are safe and sound, healthy and good.
I guess this section has to be the shortest. One word – Mediocre.
There is slight pay increment, there r some benefits here and there and i am thankful for all that.
However, the politics here is worse than Workers Party vs PAP.
So..i dont know. Basically i dont know what else to describe about my work except that i have a change of Boss and the current Boss gave a more detailed planning and direction for all the lost sheeps who were under poor management previously.
That is perhaps 1 good thing and yah, more stress might be on the way.
I have also started planning, doing something for my personal plan. I went overseas, i met up with relevant professionals.
However, due to budget constraint and my ill discipline, the plan was held back for very long. It is not helping when i was kinda timid and i was always lacking the courage to pursue what i want. But in year 2014, i swear i will just go ahead with all that i have on hand and do what i can and let God do the rest! Amen.
This must be the most exciting topic in this post. (at least to me and John? lol)
After being alone for 2 freaking long years (i have never been single for that long) I am in a relationship again.
To be honest, previously, i lost all faith in r/s (i know i say this many times and i always end up with some jerk after saying that but really, this time it is different)
If you follow my blog, you would know. If not, you can read here and here. If you are too lazy to read or find out, let’s just say, i was really not intending to get hitched in any way. Yes i did hope for it secretly but really, on the scale of 10, my desire to be alone was 8.
I have hurt and i have been hurt alot of times and each time after a break up, i would tell myself that i want to be alone because i am oh so jaded and i have lost all faith. But, you know, each time i say that, i was secretly hoping that someone will come around and show me that there is hope in this world, i was secretly hoping for someone that will appear in my life and show me what loyalty is all about, someone that is different, that will view loyalty as the most important factor in a r/s, someone that respect, that loves, that knows Love is not just a feeling but a Decision. (i actually blogged about this sometimes back, please read it here)
However, after the last r/s in 2011, i have decided firmly that such person does not exist, either that or he prolly does exist but he will never be mine. (yea, that’s negative but you cant blame me, i have suffered f-up r/s for at least 10yrs and having said that, i am not saying that i was never at fault, i believe no 1 party should bear all blames for failures for r/s)
Then, someone appeared in my life silently, normally, with an add in Facebook. John, i think you must be grinning at this.
Look, i mentioned that i will write about us once things are more stable and etc. Thus i wont go into much details now but hopefully that day will come and i can write about really fruitful news and hopefully we can move on further to another stage of the r/s by then.
Anyways, John was my schmate in Chung Cheng High Main (secondary school) and i never liked him back then.
He was just someone that my then- best friend dated. Other than that, all i knew of him was that he represented the sch for table tennis and apparently he was good at what he did, he studied in the special stream class and he was good with soccer. Thats all i knew about him and i had absolutely no interest in knowing more about him back then. Not that he wasnt attractive or anything but i was really immersed with Counterstrike and was more interested in friends outside school.
So anyway, that’s how we initially knew about each other. We hardly spoke and i think the only time i said something to him back then was an insult, he told me i called him ‘bastard’ and i shant talk much abt it.AHAH!
After 10 over years (got or not ar?), i duno how God work His miracle, John saw a pretty me (AHEM) on FB and he added me. LOL, ok la, he added me cos he knew it was me and also because i am pretty can? LOL
From then on….. i shall save e details for next time. HAHA!
But i really wana say, since the day we started dating, i have never regretted because he shows me everything i want in a man, everything i ask from God and we are on the same page in almost all things. We possess the same perspective most of the time, our moral values tally with each other, we admire each other and are very attracted to each other, we acknowledge that God is the One that is in the center of the r/s and honestly, the list goes on.
“Wah, this is long but seriously, i really really want this to work out as much as you do John. “
We are working very hard towards it and thank God for this surprise blessing, both us are grateful and we pray that we will always cherish this r/s the way we do now. Though we are really just mths together, some even say we are in the honeymoon period, both of us really want this honeymoon period to last and till date, we still feel very happy upon seeing each other and we will always make up after each fight with rational minds. Hope this continue and although we can never guarantee the future, i hope nothing ever changes because John really closed the chapter of 2013 for me wonderfully.
I started seeing a psychiatrist and i am talking to a psychologist too. Well, ntg can be concluded as of now but at least i am under control for whatever i am suffering from. Many people view Depression or Mental illness as something shameful. I was one of those people. I always think that only the weak people will admit that they are depressed.
For me, it is even tougher as i am expected by the world to walk out of any crappy mental problem just because i claim that God is real.
But i have made peace with myself and accepted that i might be stressed, and i have issues in me that might be unresolved. I believe God created professional help for people like me. Thus i am happy i have started talking to someone and on the path of getting my healthy mind back.
I also stated working out and i have lost weight, i have put on weight. It no longer matters i guess, as long as i am healthy. In the later part of 2013, i started to slack off. I am determined to return to the Gym soon (cut me some slack, CNY coming! 😛)
Looking good, looking good. But can be better! HUAT LA 2014! Especially after spending that $400+ on a tooth. It wasnt even serious op, it was just a normal tooth being plucked out. FML.
Alright, i hope the above summarized my 2013 generally and it is honestly not short at all. LOL
I have no resolution for 2014 but i do hope that i can be more hardworking, less hot tempered, and more diligent and patient for 2014. I am very happy now. I have the best family, the best bf, the best friends around me and i want to lose none of them. I wish that all of them will be happy and safe everyday. I wish that i can achieve more in my career and hopefully the house that Mum and i wanted will be ours soon 🙂
As i really gtg, i hope the crazy amt of photos i post will make you happy because i am signing off!
Happy Chinese New Year and may all of you be blessed with Peace and Prosperity!
With the ex colleagues
John came and fetch me after the wedding and we hanged
And i shall end my post with the current KPOP hair color i just did.
Love my hair 😀