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Posts tagged ‘MBS’

What is inside me?

IMG_20131124_12Hi.

I haven’t been blogging seriously for some time. There are no excuses but i was just not in the mood to do it.

I would love to say that there are some new happenings in my life. But really, i duno if there are stuffs happening too.
Forget it, i dont know how to make this clear too.

So, work is really in a mediocre state till i have nothing much to say. It is really JUST about the money money money. Kaching!

Recently, i realize that i am sicker. Sick of pretending, sick of wanting this and that to happen, sick of being sucha perfectionist, sick of working out (which i usually love), sick of sleeping and sick of not being able to sleep, sick of eating (fml please. food leh), sick of heading out, sick of staying home, sick of this sick of that.

Why am i like that?

Whenever i feel this way, it is time for me to take up more challenging stuffs, like serving a new ministry, start a new hobby, learn something new. Perhaps i have been really lazy and nuar for the longest time of my life and thus for now, i really cant stay in a stagnant state.
Many ask me to find a new job since i am suffering here everyday, but easier said than done. We all know it.
A new job means interacting with new people, adapting new working environment, learning new stuff, handling new office politics and etc.
Plus, how would i know if i will be paid better and all? (fml for wanting this comfort zone)

But, isnt that what i want? New challenges?!

Many say maybe it is time for me to start dating again. Actually i didn’t really stay home as a nun. I mean, i still talk to new people now and then but am too jaded to start trusting, start loving and in short, i am sick of having a r/s.  I am sure my reasons are justifiable, who would be keen to start risking the heart being hurt and cheated again after all the shit i went through 2 years ago? (oh and that excludes shits i went tru before 2years ago)

But, isnt that what i want? New challenges?

Many say i should start doing something more, maybe head out, know new people or learn a new language. But frankly, i am too tired for all that.
I guess i just need a break. Like a long hiatus, like a getaway. But where is the time, the energy, the money and the companion?

I have no more leave to take because i have used them up due to my health issues, i have not enough money for a long Europe trip (please, i dun wan a 3days 2nights getaway), i have almost no friends to go with. I sounded so pathetic. FML.

But it is true. As i aged, the friends who were once very close to me are al married and busy with making babies, the money is put to other good use and a large part of it went to my personal plan, the time i have is left for work and exercises, the little amount of time i have left is also used to make myself sleepy so i can sleep.

Yep, the health issue is not getting better although i have been trying and i found myself trembling and shaking just this morning. This is crazy.
Slept at 940pm, woke up at 2am, went back to sleep at 3am, woke up at 6am and went back to sleep at 7am. Finally woke up at 8am and feeling out of breath.
I light a cigarette and tried to smoke all these nonsensical worries away, but i cant even hold the stick properly. Terrible.

Then my good friend told me i am not determined and i do not have the willpower to overcome my own sickness. Thank you very much.
I seriously duno what else can i do to make myself recover from this crap.

If working my way to be better, to do healthy stuffs, to be a better person, isnt “helping myself”, what is?
If seeing the doc monthly, increasing dosages, spending useless $ hearing the doc say that i need time and each time i visit her, all i was told was i need more time and patience  to recover….

Time. I do not know how much time i have. No. i am not suffering from terminal illness, if i am blessed enough (i am in Christ name) i should be able to have lots more time on earth. But what i mean is, age is catching up, i still do not feel that i have achieved much in life.
Look, what have i achieve?
Probably i am earning more than the past, but i am unhappy everyday, dreading my feet to Tg Pagar at 8am.
Probably i am alot more healthier than the past, but i am still on medication.
Probably i am happier, but when can i finally feel that “yes, this is the time of my life. i am truly happy and stable”

Ok, this post might be alittle negative, forgive me. I wk up feeling like crap. I nida rant. Maybe this is what they call- mid life crisis (mid life????)
Ok, perhaps it is just the late twenties crisis. Maybe it is peer pressure and seeing my peers far ahead of me can be quite taxing sometimes.

I talk alot this time about how i really feel inside me for the longest time. I rarely do this yea. So this post isnt about some updates of what i did, where i went and who i met. It is more of a real update of how i feel.

But it is all talk lah. Back to reality, i still have to face all the shits, i still have a meeting on Friday for my plan (really, i have kinda lost the motivation to do what i planned, but i have already commited myself to it, giving it up now really just show how loserish i am) i still have to face TONS of backstabbers at work, i still have to face the problem i created myself, i still have to try to sleep, i still have to work out, i still have to try to eat properly (only because i promised John) i still have to ….ARGH, i have to live.

Yah, Life is simple, it is just not easy. And i should stop whining. Sometimes, dont you just wish that Life comes with instructions?
For example, a guide book. You flip to page 1 for Monday and 2 for Tuesday and etc, then follow what God wants us to do and where God wants us to go, meet people God wants us to meet and etc.

Ok i am sounding a little naive and unattractive already. Better stop here.

Shall upload pics and tts it, i am not writing anymore. Feel like resting the poor brain that hasnt been resting for almost a week.

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Went to gf’s crib recently after doctor’s appointment. Had fun with Kinect and babies, of cos, with gf too! 😀
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Met up with Alan and John recently.

IMG_20131116_2Some dude- Alan’s fren

IMG_20131116_3Ah Zai

IMG_20131116_4seriously, i really don’t know her. I dont even know if i can call her Alan’s fren.
Her name is Apple Gao, btw.

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IMG_20131116_6I know i really bring joy, but need to be so happy not?

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IMG_20131116_10i nida explain this. Look, i am not leaning on John ok, it was er….awkward.
Because errr Apple was lik….wanting to be closer to Alan and Alan doesnt seem lik he like it and so i kinda push her to him and aiya. 
Sua, i duno what to say.

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IMG_20131116_13Yah, trophy for Singaporeans. 
Mandatory shot when u have it, Krispy Kreme.

IMG_20131118_1Everyday, my eyes are lidat, i can never open them.

IMG_20131122_1Random. Trying dresses for Christmas, got more later. HAHA

IMG_20131123_1Gf day. Thanks to her and Chris, we went to….

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AMEI Special Showcase for the MBS Vips.
Pardon the blurry pictures, samsung S3 really..you know la.

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IMG_20131123_233048And this is my dinner with my gf after the concert, i was zombiefied. 

IMG_20131124_7 And this is me and XiaoHui at Jackson’s wedding. Congrats Bud! 
God will surely bless your wonderful new journey with Net!

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IMG_20131124_201520#Ootd for Jackson’s big day. Not bad ah, the dress.
But it is too loose and i am  thinking of selling, any takers?

IMG_20131124_201640Went Jockey’s to meet John after the Wedding.
My dinner at Jockey’s.

John’s fav place -_-

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IMG_20131123_154136 Cute not? Cute right? Haha. 
My talented Sis made this. So love hor.

IMG_20131124_19Went to H&M and tried on different attires.
My favs are the red and the bottom right.
Tts almost what all the others chose too.
My dear John chose the 3rd frm the top and the 1st on the bottom left.
FHL.

IMG_20131125_17And i am supposed to be touched when he tk pics of his food for me cos he says that he dun do that usually.
And becos of that, i took pic of my dinner and sent him and i was made to promise him that i have to eat proper meals for dinner.
How sian.

IMG_20131125_1At Jockey’s.

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Happy Birthday Mummy Love

Hola!

It is finally the eve of 2 PH that is connected to the weekends! Wee!!! I really cant wait for 6pm to come, the start of my long weekend~ I want nothing but my bed. Thanks.

Anyway, this post is a little late. My Mum’s bday was yesterday and the celebrations we had was sometime back.

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Firstly, i really want to say i am sorry, for being so harsh on Mum on days she couldnt express herself properly, on days she refused to listen to me, on days which i feel lousy. I am so sorry  that she has to put up with me constantly. Frankly, she show me how unconditional her love is and in order to love unconditionally, 1 has to ACCEPT – accepting whatever lousy characteristic and habits of the loved one.
I always say i love her unconditionally, but Love is patient and i am not even patient towards her, whenever she do something that doesnt pleases me, i get pissed. I am terrible. I am terribly guilty. 😦

I have to remind myself daily that i will not scream nor shout at her  anymore (despite situations), and i will always give in to her because she is getting old and she might not be as alert as before and that i ought to (REALLY OUGHT TO) be very patient with her.

I know i cant do it, i seek for prayers and i am praying that i am able to love her unconditionally like how she loves me, thru Christ.

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So, even though Mummy might not be able to read this part, i still feel better writing it out because i do not want to portray  that perfect daughter image but in actual fact, i am actually far from being perfect.

Having said that, even though i might not like Mummy all the time, i Love her always.

Thank you God, for giving me sucha nice, strong and loving Mummy. I really thank You for her. I thank my Mum for being so strong, so loving, towards me and my sis. Thank u Mummy that you have never thought of leaving us nor giving us up ever since the day Dad let us down. Thank you for your love Mummy, your love is very strong.

Anyway, 6th of August is the day my Superwoman’s birthday. We celebrated the week before at MBS for a weekend staycation.

The hotel is really overcrowded and all weekends are fully booked till next year. I tried asking a few friends that are connected to the place but all of them told me that the hotel is fully booked for weekends. I was rather disappointed.


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However, thanks to my wonderful pretty lovely cutesy GF, i managed to get a room! HAHA. It was on a Sunday though, thus sis and i have to take leave on Monday. Doesnt matter because Mum secretly wishes to stay at MBS for sometime. But i do know that all she ask for is peace in the family and us to be safe. She is not someone that will desires or lusts for luxury.

So we checked in on Sun, GF and Chris bought a Birthday Fruit Tart (big enough for 6 pax) and we did the usual lah, singing and clapping along with the Birthday song.
After Chris and GF left, Aunt (yes we invited Aunt too!) Mum, sis and i went up to the Skypark and took some pictures, walked around the boring shopping mall and had dinner.

We were quite lethargic actually.

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IMG_20130729_6Please ignore the Likeaboss/modelwanabe pose of sis, it is unintentional, it is the Sun.

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I guess there is nothing to be unhappy about with the service of MBS. You guys ‘know’ i am quite a fussy person when it comes to Service (even though i do not admit to that, lol)
But really, we do not need to comment much on MBS’s services. I am saying this not because it is a huge name nor because it is ‘branded’.

Even the food of their ‘affordable and casual’ class of bistro possesses restaurants’ standards. A must try is the ‘Ayam Penyet’ at A Taste of Nanyang. It is affordable, costing less than $10 a plate. We did not try any fine dining because Mum is definitely not into that. Knowing her, she will reprimand us for spending a bomb for something so little and knowing her, she rather have local delights. :s
So anyway, if you are not intending to spend alot since the room alraedy costs quite a bit, try out A Taste of Nanyang  on level B1. If not, you may also try ordering the food from the room. I had Fish and Chips and it is okok, cant really remember the price for that but  price is approx $20 for Wanton Mee, Never get to try the raved about Fine dinings there, perhaps another time.

Mum watched her tv prog on channel 8 and Sis and i strolled around the mall to digest the food in us. We popped into 7-11 and ended up buying more snacks. LOL.

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Went back to the room with lotsa food and we spent the night chatting away with FOOD. Mum was feeling tired and she slept before we did. On the next day, Sis and i went pool dipping and camwhored like crazy. Then we checkout and brought Mum to lunch.

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I was feeling so CRAZILY TIRED pls. I always feel tired whenever i stay in hotels because i can never sleep well outside, i cant even slp well on my own beloved bed, not to say other beds. No expensive beds can make me crash immediately.  Sis then went to the hospital for her check up , Mum and i went home after lunch.

Mum was happy although she keep nagging at us for the surprise as she hates surprises because she will want to prepare this prepare that for event like that. I also do not know what is there to prepare. LOL.

On 3rd Aug, we went to House of Seafood for her 2nd celebration. This time round, we included Aunt as well as Granny. The place was raved like crazy by my colleague  and online but OH please, listen to me, DONT GO. DONT EVEN TRY. I will do a Vshare on House of Seafood in my next post so i wont spoil this Bday post.

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Loving the Red. Cant help it.IMG_20130803_23

Yesterday was the actual day of Mum’s hatchy. I intended to bring her out for dinner again but sadly, i kinda lost my temper on her in e morning. I want to kill myself! :s

She was asking me for advices for some work related issues which i hope i wont get to write it here because if i do, it will be a bad and big thing then. But i was pissed when she refused to listen nor believes. I hate it whenever i am asked YET doubted at the same time. It is very frustrating.

Thus the morning was not very good for us. Things got better in the evening and we went for dinner downstairs my house. I bought durians for her as she was craving madly for durians. We finished 2 boxes of durians (that is a total of 3 med size durians and 4 small durians) on the night itself. Thankyouverymuch and FML.  I probably will cry when i see the weighing machine this Thurs.

So, her Bday ended with a prayer from me. My sis is still at Taiwan so she sent back her wishes and we are waiting for her to be back on Thurs.

Well, i do not know how to end this post so i shall end it with a simple prayer for my dearest Mummy, do pray for her as well ok?

May the Lord bless her with His presence for His presence is nothing but the best we  can ever ask for.
His presence heals and He brings joy and peace.
May He shower all His love and blessing on my Mummy, may Jesus bless her with Longevity and safety daily.

Amen! 🙂

 

 

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