Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Posts tagged ‘memories’

Remember

要记得的 一定会记得

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Apple of my eye

 
Watched this show again yesterday night. I miss my school days suddenly, terribly.

I do not have any romantic r/s in school as my puppy loves back then were all outside of school. Thus i cant understand the romance behind the pen poking, in classrooms and along basketball court. hurhur.

However, i miss the friendship during secondary school. It was the most treasured. Primary school friendship is too unstable as we were all still kids from 7yr old to 12yr old, friends might be like toys, come and go.

During the more difficult age of 14 to 16, we are neither kids nor adults, the age which we step into maturity, the age  which we start to value relationships, (try to) handle relationships like adults, we go through thick and thin during this period in school, we ganged up against teachers, we stood united with each other- taking loyalty very seriously.

Thus, for me, friends made in secondary school are the most memorable ones.

As for romance, i have my story too, but just not in school. There are some people whom i met, spent time together, got separated, met again, but they left again. In this show, i wonder why didnt the guy try harder to stay in contact with the gal, i wonder why they didnt make up and why did the both didnt get together in the end.
Well, perhaps, thats the furthest they can go, as soulmates, but never lovers, Then i ask “but why?”, they look so good together and they get along so well? Perhaps, everything might change after they turn lovers? Perhaps they were never meant to be husband n wife and if they end up married, they might not get along as well as i thought?

I still do not like the ending, because i would rather see the both of them together. But, there are a few lines that i really love:

Gal: 被你喜欢过,很难觉得别人有那么喜欢我。
         Because of how you liked me before, is hard to imagine anyone else can like me as much as you did.

Guy: 我要这世界因为有了我而有一点点不同。
           I want the world to be slightly/ little different because of my existance.

Guy: 原来当你真的非常非常喜欢一个女孩,当她有人疼有人爱,你会真心真意的祝福她快乐。
           If you really love a girl so much, seeing her having some1 doting on her, you will wish her happy with your sincere heart.

I think, i can understand the first statement made by the girl, though i have my fair share of meeting the wrong people who cast doubts in real love in my life, there are still nice people that i met, who made me understand that sentence.

As for the 2nd statement, i feel is very inspiring. You do not need to be someone big or famous to make a slight difference in this broken world. A slight difference matters, for eg. when the world is broken down with greed and haters, you can make a diff by being a honest and peace loving person – influencing people around you? Shrugs, but that itself is already a slight diff made, right?

The 3rd statement – it can be excuse for cowards who do not dare to give commitment to the person they fancy, thus watching the ones they fancy ending up with others.
It can also mean sincere and selfless Love (Love is selfless, also quoted in bible).

I havent reach that stage yet, thus my Love isnt unconditional, not for any1 as yet.

Alot of thoughts came to mind when i watch this show. It is especially touching when the guy kissed the groom at the end of the show (watch to find out why he did that!).

Not fantastic big production, but it is a heart-warming show. I like it.

Whats your thoughts on this show then?

Beauty for Ashes

A friend asked today, if i still miss him, my ex.   
My philandering ex boyfriend.
Yes, by the name of Adrian, my last boyfriend before i turned single this year.   

(This is also the first time i am actually “talking” about this break up so openly, with slightly more words.)  

Honestly, i am so busy nowadays that i seldom have extra time to.    
Yes, he does come to my mind sometimes, but i forgot since when, he seem to be out of my mind for quite a long period of time.    
I did not realise till i was asked about him.                                     

Other times, it would be some familiar (yet unfamiliar kinda feeling) places we went before or songs we listened to.

I know he is attached now, i am not happy for him but neither am i upset over it.
Guess thats what the world says ….”You have moved on”

Well, i did questioned, how can a guy say he wana marry you for 1 year and then,2 mths after the break up, hook up with another girl so soon?

Then i realised, i was silly to even believe in an unstable man. However, i will save the details of what happened during the 1 year r/s.

My life is not at its best now, but i am really enjoying every activity i am doing now, i totally thank God for where i am at now, for pulling the wrong
person
out of my life.
(Saying that, it doesnt mean he is  wrong for anyone or everyone.
perhaps just not the right one for me.
perhaps there are certain things i can never tolerate but other women are willing to.

To be fair to him, i wasnt the best gf either.
I gave him alot of stress.
I couldnt execute forgiveness
i couldnt handle lies
and I lost myself and was forced to insanity.

When insanity sets in, it is too late and too sad.
Yes, i was in tremendous stress and fear and before i know it, i am in depression.)

I didnt take a very long time to ‘recover‘, but trust me, it wasnt that fast to me either.
Finally, i see myself crystal clear again and started to do things, go to places i enjoyed, before losing myself, started to attempt things which i might not dare to try in the past.

Mostly, i thank God for getting me out of the shit holes of lies, betrayals and physical abuse.
With the constant reports of  men having sex with online sex workers, i really couldnt imagine (yet not surprising) if i spot my ex being in the list (if we are still tog). @ the very least, i do not need to fear now.

Having said that, he taught me alot and he gave me a chance to set my priorities, he made me understand that i should never compromise my expectations again, he let me seen the worst in a man, he let me understand that words are cheap. In short, i paid a huge price for a lesson that will benefit me for life, i believe. 
Of cos, i have my fair share of bad r/s (s)  before, but it has never been so real and painful like this one.
Nevertheless, we shared some good memories, even though is kinda little.
We did smiled and hugged before.
They are not really precious memories, (as in really precious) but i m glad it happened.
I also spend more time with my family, especially my Mum now, we are closer together and i really really treasure it.

Different people move on using different ways, some may see that, turning to religion is a form of weakness.
I dont deny that, because i dont think i am strong after what i have been through.
However, turning to God is actually a different thing totally because in the past, i move on bitterly. Now, i can only say, even though it is the fact that i am so broken due to the way i am treated, i move on with all my heart.

Which also means…i do not wish him dead, anymore. hahaha!
Perhaps thats Forgiveness.

I believe God will turn my ashes into beauty, but i am sure the best has yet to come, and it will come, by Faith and not sight.
(of course, i thank my lovely Mum for being there during the bad times, my little sis for encouraging me and making logical sense to me even though she is about the age my ex is dating now, haha. I wana thank 7 for not giving up on me, and of course, my Pastor Kong for promising that 1 year is more than enough for my recovery, Mr Chew Eng Han, my cell leader and his wife Janet)

Thank you for building me up and preparing me for bigger things, better person, n awesome times.
I say Lord, You are my God, my times are in Your hands  🙂

p/s IS TGIF! Weeeeeee
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