Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Posts tagged ‘Mum’

500 days of New Life

500 Days.

& lesser.

 approx 500 days for me to be completely bleached. 

a complete cleansed heart.

no memories at all

only realise it till i see it

i am very relieved and very very thankful 

extremely happy for myself

🙂


From e bottom of my heart, Thank you God. Jesus. CHC. Pastor Kong, Sun Ho, Eng Han & Janet, Mum & Sis, BBG211, Seven, Mel, Gary.

Thank you, Valencia.

Thats right, i thank you for being so strong despite the really bad shits you went through and standing stronger than ever.

I love you.

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Salvation

Hi!

I have exactly an hour to finish this blogpost and i hope i am can rush out everything in an hour.

If i do not write it now, i doubt i will have anytime to till weeks later.

Anyway, i have plenty of updates but because of time constraint, i am still thinking what should i cut short.

To start off, i would like to Thank God for His promise that come to pass. (I urge you to read on, of cos, with no obligations)

Mum went through Water Baptism on 10th March, Sunday at our church City Harvest Singapore.

I honestly teared alot of times even before she went through the actual ceremony because i was very touched by how each step God directed us.

Finally, Mum and i are 1 people 🙂

Let me give a small brief on the whole journey Mum took before she baptise herself. (I actually realised that it is not that short)

It was almost impossible for her to even believe the existence of Jesus Christ. She has been a Taoist all her life, since born. Mum came from a traditional Chinese Family and the family is Taoist.

To them, Taoism means praying to their very own ‘Chinese gods and deities’ and they believe that these gods are more ‘powerful’ and more ‘suitable’ (even if Jesus Christ existed), in fact these gods and deities might be the only gods.

Yah anw, thats Mum and her faith since she was born.

I was also a hardcore Anti-Christ since young because of what i was taught since young. I hated Church and Christians. In my opinion, these Christians are the most irritating people in the world because they are preachy, they cant stop judging, they think they are the most noble and greatest people in the world. In fact, i guess i hated the people more than the religion itself (back then).

However, i believe the existence of Jesus Christ, but i just feel that i do not want to know Him because i rather stick to ‘my own gods’.

Looking back, i have many chances to know Jesus Christ. I can even recall each event:

1) Pri sch – tuition at a Church. I went there for free tuitions because it is free. oh ,my pri sch bff is a Christian and thus she brought me along.

2) Secondary Sch – I am still in touch with this Pri schmate and we happen to know some peeps from CHC. Honestly, that was 1 of the worst period because i have never feel so disturbed. I was turn off because the way they show concern to me was really more than i could take. Moreover, i was at a rebellious age.

3) Poly Days – I cant rem if i encounter any chances to interact with Church nor Jesus Christ during this period.

4) Working Days – Plenty of encounters.

My ex Boss was a super Pai Kia (gangster). Ok, he isnt exactly a gangster, he is just a hooligan. LOL.
But the smart type lah. Cant explain but he isnt those that loiter around Geylang and with no income. He is quite good at what he does.

He did asked me to join him at his Church and he explained Jesus to me. Pardon me but i nida be honest so at tt time, I was lik “F*** OFF. i dont want to know about Him. I know HE is some ang mor with beard. I noe HE might be God but i have my own god so please spare me the agony. Please let me pray to my own god and respect me pls”

He never gives up on me but i never give in either. After he finally ‘conned me’ (haha) to his Church, i was lik OMG. PLEASE . I WILL NEVER B A CHRISTIAN.

This was in 2004? i cant really rem. But i was really not into all these preachy stuffs. Even though my life was not great and i was not happy with life and all,  i dont believe anyone can help me. I was damn lost.

My ex colleague was also sharing Jesus to me and i was like WTF. (pardon the french again, but i really really felt that way and i dont wana act nice and all with hw i felt)

Then 1 day during that same period, i did gave in a little. I rem i was drunk and i mumbled this “Look, if you are real, you grant me wish n I wud believe you exist”

Nope, it didnt happen, my wish didnt come true i brush this Jesus thing behind my back.

My ex colleague was still comforting me, of cos, she wud do it in the name of  Jesus and i have no idea why i cry when she was talking about Jesus. I mean, i wasnt exactly emo over Jesus, i was supposed to be sad over my own issues and there i was crying for whatever reason-idontknow?

Maybe it is just me bottling all the stress up for too long, i thought.

Weird.

Still, i didnt keep this Jesus thing very serious and i brushed it away again.

Mum was all along in the picture during these days. She prayed to alot of ‘chinese gods’ for me. I dont remember those names of the gods but she just never stop praying, because she really feel the ache seeing me so lost in life, failing in things i am involved.

Nothing helps.

We went fortune telling and i was told over and over that if i pray to this n that, i will get this n  that, i will be this n that.

I even changed my Chinese name because the fortune teller say it will bring me luck.

This fortune teller, apparently is very famous in Sg.

However, 1 week after i changed my Chinese name, i got into a car accident. So much for better luck.

Next, i met Nic, my bf then. He  was a Catholic and yah, i have to go church with him often.

We eventually brk up and i went back to church a few times on my own after the breakup but eventually i stopped going because i couldnt receive the Word there.

Well, at tt time, i didnt want to commit to any religion anymore because to me, all religions exist and i just have to pick 1. But i wasnt the least interested to pick.

Then, everything falls into place, i got myself a new job, i knew Allan through work and he brought me to church.

It was CHC and yes, i was super skeptical but i didnt want to turn down a potential working partner that might help in my job back then.

I wasnt very impressed because i really hated how loud CHC is, and i was still haunted by that bad experience i had with CHC during my teenage days.

However, i said the Sinners Prayer the 1st time i visited the Church. I guess i was so lost that i cant b bothered anymore, i guess i was empty and i just needed some people around me (you know, church people are super willing to do that ), but i do not mean the boyfriends kind.

So i was in church and i really felt happy, very happy. I have no lack, i mean, i wasnt as ‘well off’ as now, i was in debt, i was single, i was just lacking of everything in life, $, achievements, romance and etc.

But Still, i dont know why during that period of time, even though i was lacking, i felt i have NO lack. It is a strange feeling and i also cant explain why my body produce Endorphin on its own.

However, i grew tired of Church and i grew lazy, i admit my Faith wasnt build strongly and i backslided.

You must be thinking why am i talking about myself when i am supposed to share about my Mum’s journey to Chritianity. If you read on, you will probably know that it is closely related.

Frankly, from the moment i went Church and Baptism, Mum was not happy.
During my Teenage days, she would say nasty things like “dont involve me if you r really going to church, you are blind to even trust church and  just dont get me into trouble by going to some western God” (ok, i dont know what trouble she was talking about???)

But because i am already an adult when i went for baptism and i thought she prolly do not want to say much.

Well, after i left church for 1 year, which is also around the same time i met my Ex. I suffered the most during that 1 yr.

My mind wasnt even on God nor Church though i still rem i am a Christian but i was really weak.

My mind was more on my Ex who gave me tons of nonsense like betrayals and physical beatings and abuses.

I was in hell for that 1 year.

After the break up, i took quite some time, with the help of my churchmates, leaders, pastor and of cos, GOD.

I returned to Church.

My life changed ever since.

I am not super rich now, i haven met anyone i fancy nor fancy me, i am still me.

But it doesnt matter, i know i am really living well now, not sure about the near future but i like it now, i like the ‘alone feeling’ now.

I am not super rich but i am getting better off than before.

Besides all that, my life was good in the sense that i am more responsible, i love people more (i hope,haha), i def love my family more, i def live better with them with lesser quarrels (i used to quarrel with sis and mum v often and there was no peace at home), there are abundant laughter at home now – more than ever, all in all, i grew up.

Stop smoking – a huge thing in my life as i felt i smoke almost al my life, since 14. I begin to talk more like an adult and think more like an adult (according to people la. how can i say tt of myself, i still feel i m like a kid most of the time!)

In conclusion, my Mum finally worry lesser for me. She saw alot of changes in me. Not only that, she sees the changes in the family and herself.

Yes, she suggested to me that she might want to check out what this God is all about since she saw my changes, since i always boast about Him.

She visited church a few times, she prayed, she teared, she felt God. Please dont ask me to explain how, i mean, i can do that but as i mentioned before, it is very personal. I cant explain or describe in words, you know, such experiences is so personal, it is really tough to put it in words.

I asked her if it is her own feelings or emotions but she said no, she has never encounter such feeling when she was a Taoist.

I would say the same too.

She attended church and she kinda slided away but she still comes to church w me occasionally. She does believe in Jesus.

After alot of struggles and fear, she managed to step out by Faith and she went for Baptism.

I was worried initially that she doesnt know what is Baptism all about. I was worried that she baptise for the sake of it and not understanding it.

I mean, she isnt so sure about the whole Christianity thing even though she is aware who is Jesus. Even i cant say i know the bible well.

But I am very blessed, Seven, my churchmate,my bff, told me to let go n let God.

True enough, i did that. Things fall in place.

God really does His part n i am so wonderfully blessed because throughout these days, even before this baptism thing come into the picture, my leader Eng Han and his Wife Janet have never stop asking about me and my mum, helping us in whatever needs.

I shant elaborate but frankly, Janet really helped alot, despite her own situation now, she never stop showing concern, finding out the right procedures for my mum, for her to be baptised, made alot of phonecalls and etc.

On the day of Baptism, Eng Han brought his whole family to church to support my mum. We were extremely touched.
Thank you Eng Han, Thank you Janet, Thank you God for wonderful Leader. No matter what happens, he is my wonderful leader that God sent.

Ok, anyway, back to Mum. She looks and feel happier of cos, now that she is a baptised Christian. Even before she was baptised, ever since i turned Christian, Mum got to know a handful of people who are Christians too- they often encourage her.

To me, God really does His part and everything just fall nicely in place. I do not need to ‘brainwash’ or ‘psycho’ her.

She is now telling me she will be going back to church soon. Please pray for her guys! 🙂 I certainly wish to see her going more to church, i will do my part in giving her more knowledge on the Word, perhaps i can get my friends to give her Bible studies too! Please pray for us!

I really have alot to share on our journey but it is very long and i am not sure if any1 will want to read that much of info. haha.

Of cos, it was never easy to make sucha big decision for both of us, i cant possibly write down everything and every miracle but trust us that we came a long way.

I am now very grateful to God that my Mum is saved. I am still praying for the rest of my family!

I mentioned i was very irritated by some Christians in the past, in fact, i have to admit, back then, CHC has a history of having more aggressive preachers/believers. I do not blame them, sometimes i feel i behave the same way too.

Trust me  that we are not paid to be so diligent. We merely want to share the happiness we found. Perhaps we really do it the wrong way at times, but do forgive us for being aggressive at times. (Nobody is perfect right) We just feel too much and it is not that i do not respect you, i might love you too much to let you stay in the stage you are now. Because i have tasted the worst (for me, it is almost worst) stage of my life, and i manage to come out of it just because i knew Jesus, thus i really want you to experience the same happiness as i.

However, i have learnt and is still learning how to respect and love people around me regardless of religions. I have to bear in mind how irritating it is when a non believer has to tolerate preachy messages by believers.

Pray for me ok! haha.

Ayte, i used 1 hr and i havent finish blogging, this post must be super long.

I will be back – signing off now, continue tomorrow! 🙂

So here i am, continuing where i left off.  So…

In conclusion, Mum and i really tasted the sweetness and thus made our decisions.  Once again, i am not converting anyone. I understand how i might have irritate u for the above but i just have to say what is in my mind right.

If you are not comfy, which i understand too, i used to irk at the preachy stuffs too, you may just skip reading (this post) lah. I dont know about you, i hafta admit, whenever i am not comfy (about topics on Jesus and Christianity)back then, a part of me was actually aware that there are certain bad habits (i had) that i wana avoid facing.
Also, a part of me is stubborn and not open minded about Christianity, it is not the religion i loathe. It is perhaps, just me…I was really too strong opinionated to accept the fact that i am actually curious about this God.

Well, not sure about you but in anyway, be happy for me and my family ayte? 🙂

Ok, pictures pictures.487310_547500898613945_1191150806_n

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I wana encourage some Christian friends here, if you are praying for your unsaved frens or families, please do not be discouraged.

The day will come, and it has to be God’s timing.
After all these years, i have learnt  that no matter how perfect our desired timing is, we cant beat God.
His timing is indeed the best.

Dont Give up! 🙂

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TGFE

It is finally Friday! Thank God for everyday and especially Friday!

Was taking a breather downstairs because it was too cold in my room. Witnessed a car accident. The loud bang was shocking.
Nobody is hurt, but the black car is totally crashed.

I feel uneasy. Anyone would be uneasy, but i feel even more uneasy because the car looks familiar.
Well, i glanced briefly at the driver and nope, i dont know the driver but my heart still skipped a beat though.

A sick feeling was in me, is like… what if the driver is some1 i know or i love? Moreover, the car seems like it is the same model of someone i know.

It dawn to me that accidents happen everyday, life is fragile, yes we know that but sometimes we need to be reminded of that.

People nowadays take everyday for granted, too easily.
Sometimes, is not until you witness such things, having the image right at your face, then you would realise that “Everyday is not Guaranteed, is not expected”

Everyday is actually a great blessing to every1. Some people fight for their life, their every breathe while some of us choose to live by everyday.

It is not easy to stay positive or happy during hard times, i can safely say that because i am a very negative person by default. Nobody would feel happy if they are facing financial difficulties, facing rejections from people, disappointments in life, fighting illness and etc.

But, sometimes, when we think that our problem is so huge, we forget that there are bigger problems that others r handling. Yes, other people might be able to handle bigger problems and you dont give  a damn because you just do not want problems in your own life. But, that is not possible as long as you are alive. Our problems may be big today, but there is nothing bigger than our God, the creator of all things. If you aint a believer, yet you are still blessed with a life, look, problems are dead, you are alive, problems cant be changed, but you can, change the way you react, think and strive on from there.

Frankly, i am trying very hard to be thankful everyday that i am alive. It is really not easy for me to live above emotions and problems too. But we really have to try if we really still want to be alive. Nothing is really ‘the end’ till the life is finished, thus, learning to be positive is essential, for every human kind.

At this time, i remember Pastor Phil (Advisory Pastor of CHC) saying this: during hard times, you need Faith when you need Faith.
Sounds deep, but actually, it makes total sense. When you need Faith at that very time, you need Faith to believe in what you need – Faith.

I sincerely pray today, for the safety of my love ones, and may Lord keep us steady and peaceful with Faith. Renew my Faith oh Lord!

 I suddenly want to post this old school Cantonese song by my favourite artiste. He is mesmerizing as an asian, singer, performer and actor. I love the meaning of the song, sometimes, i wonder if the song is written for human or God, it really make sense to confess such undying love and pursue for God. Whatever it is, it is really 1 of my fav songs. For those that do not understand Cantonese,  i hope you can read mandarin.

这一生也在进取 I am progressing in life
这分钟却挂念谁 But who am i missing at this moment?
我会说是唯独你不可失去 I would confess that it is you that i cannot lose
好风光似幻似虚 Those glamorous days seems lik illusions to me
谁明人生乐趣 Who really understand the joy of life?
我会说为情为爱仍然是对 I would say it is right to pursue Love
谁比你重要 Who can be more important than you
成功了败了也完全无重要 It doesnt matter if i win or lose
谁比你重要 Who can be more important than you?
狂风与暴雨都因你燃烧 Rain or shine, i burn for you
一追再追 I will pursue on
只想追赶生命里一分一秒 I want to pursue every second of my life
原来多么可笑 It is actually hilarious
你是真正目标 But you are the real goal
一追再追 I will pursue on
追踪一些生活最基本需要 Pursuing the basics of life
原来早不缺少 In reality, i do not lack

有了你即使平凡却最重要 Having you in my life, even being ordinary is meaningful
好光阴纵没太多 There aint much good times
一分钟那又如何 What is 1 more second of that
会与你共同渡过都不枉过 As long as i am with you, it is not wasted
疯恋多错误更多 Passionate and wrong r/s we had
如能从新做过 If i can start over again
我会说愿能为你提前做错 I would be more than happy to with you regardless

只得你会叫我彷佛人群里最重要 Only you will make me realise that you are the most important among all the people around me
有了你即使沉睡了 Having you with me, i would smile even while i sleep..
也在笑

As usual, i will do some simple translation in my own understanding for you guys. 🙂 Nice, i am. haha.

Have a Blessed Friday every1!

p/s cant wait to spend my Fri with mummy and sis again. Love them!

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