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Posts tagged ‘sex’

Right or Wrong?

Hi.

Actually, i never want to touch on such topic as it is really sensitive. Ok, perhaps not sensitive but it is not really worth debating over- because it will take ages and there will not be any conclusion anyway.
It is the usual thing – different perspectives from different individuals.

We should respect each other,i agree with that. We should respect each other’s choices and thinkings.
So instead of arguing our own perspective through, perhaps we should let it go and stop teaching others what to do and what not to do.

Take for example, Xiaxue and her pregnancy and her baby. I see so many people teaching her what to do and what not to do during her pregnancy.
I was not offended because i do not even know her personally. I was not really angry but i was disturbed when these people started to wana take control of her pregnancy and life. I was questioning how Genuine were these people, do they truly care for her or were they just being 1 of those that want to get involved in everything, even with the person they do not fancy, even with the blogger they detest?

Yea, human should not tell each other what they should or shouldnt do. But sometimes, genuine advises don’t hurt at all.

SO ENOUGH OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL TALKS and back to what i really want to say!

Anyway, why i am writing about this is because i was pissed this morning.
Yes, i get irritated rather easily. Thus i went to take a breather and calm myself down before i write this. LOL

Ok, relax, it isnt something so serious anyway. Hurhur.

Let just say, i have a friend name B.

I shall call him B because his gf is some lunatic stalker freak -i think. (sorry for that name because you will find out later)

I do not want to be called a r/s wrecker again you see. (just in case)

Ok, B sent me flowers out of friendship and to cut the long story short, his crazy gf found out from i dont know where and he questioned me about it.

I was lik WTF?

Pardon my French.

But it was really WTF to me… i mean, i do not appreciate being questioned about if i went to tell the gf about the flowers.
This is plain ridiculous.

Why?

BECAUSE

1) if you are game enough to send flowers to other women other than your gf, then u r prepared for any questionings from the gf right?

AND THAT SHOULDNT BE MY PROBLEM???

2) why would i go and tell the gf because i didnt even have the intention to break or wreck up any r/s.
Especially Not yours for sure. I am not that desperate for a r/s, a man, or YOU? (not a question, it is a statement)

In Fact, i have never thought of us in that way.

Ok, i admit the things i said and did might have misleading effects, shrugs.

But whatever.

Oh ok, Sorry.

I was just pissed the other time, for being questioned if i went to tell the gf. Even if i really like you and went to tell your gf, you dont freaking question me like that. Because i shouldnt be the one carrying the burden of this ‘problem’ and you should be the one.
Yes, sorry to say that. I know it is a bit unfair to Men but this is how it works what. If a Man cant even account and stand up for what he did, what kinda Guniang is that?
Is like, you heard of ‘Gentleman’ and not ‘Gentlewoman’ right?

But thank God i did not do such despicable act if not i wouldnt respect myself either.  But I wouldnt even do that even if you are Brad Pitt lah.

#Justsaying
Hope i am understood.

Then, we are cool with things again because he apologized. I am ok to let matter rest.

We chatted and randomly, although not surprisingly, i saw how many sleazy FB pages and Weibo pages he followed or liked.
I dont mean to stalk  but it shows up lah. Look, it is Internet, you can see who you befriend and what pages you like right?

(I have alot of guy friends who did that and i am used to seeing such but  honestly, i am not trying to say i am free of lust or anything but i just dont go around liking pictures of Penises. :/ )

Yes, i mentioned that alot of my guy friends go around liking those sleazy FB pages and websites that shows boobs, almost naked or naked photos of all kinds – thais, chinese, japs, wadever nationality.

Like what kind? You ask me.

Here it is- an example:

disgustingsorry that i kinda covered up some parts.
It isnt gross on bed if you are doing it with your gf lah, but it is gross to put it here because i am not hosting a Porn site lah. -_-

I wouldnt judge and say they are bad guys but for sure, i definitely wouldnt have a good impression on someone lidat or consider dating someone lidat.

I know i know i know that it is guys or even human nature to look at sexy and intimidating sleazy pictures, i sometimes have that urge to take a 2nd look at pictures of long legs and cleavages too – well we cant deny a woman’s shape is 1 of the most amazing creations ever, Right?

But liking such pictures, websites, contents and FB pages – SO FREQUENTLY and it turn into an addiction and habit…is a little too much isnt it?

Not to mention, it is abit degrading.

I mean, why would one need to be so hooked on such pornographic stuff? It is ok to look, but to look at them on a regular basis like you are addicted to it? Not sure if that is Normal, yes it is def Common but Common doesnt means Normal. :/

Actually… Lust and Addiction doesnt necessary has to be linked to sex nor drugs.

Lust can be anything, like a gal can actually lust over Chanel.

You know what i mean? And Lust is actually very unhealthy.
Thus i wud say also, that any brand suckers are also very unhealthy.
In my opinion.

Ok anw, back to where i stopped off.  B actually told me that it is a virtue to be honest and open about such addiction.

I AM SPEECHLESS.

How can doing something so low, be a virtue??? Whats more is, you have a GF  for goodness sake?!

I was very pissed by such lame excuses for such cheap doings but is fine, i mean, i am disgusted because of the excuses and lameness.
But as i am nobody but a friend, i have no special/ romantic liking towards this friend, it is fine. Not like i am the wife or what right.

I feel sad for the gf though.

Then, today..we were talking about some silly gossip- Aaron Kwok splitting with his beau of 7 years.

32B27FE125E3B2648266C5E97921

It is really silly because nobody wud bother much about these celebs break ups. I am just being the usual me, bored and wanted to just read about such gossips.

So i randomly told him that Aaron Kwok is quite a jerk for being irresponsible, errr i dont like that ex gf of his anyway but i just find him irresponsible lah – as a man.
But i do like Aaron’s face. LOL

He spoke up for Aaron Kwok  as usual, because apparently Aaron Kwok is his idol or something.

I expected it but i didnt really expect someone to be so oblivious  just because the person who committed the irresponsible act is a Man, and an idol.

Look, why did i say that Aaron Kwok is irresponsible is because i feel that any man who wana be serious with his gf would have married or proposed sometime after they have dated. Of course, time frame is not the most important issue in a r/s.
Some people get married after 2 mths of dating, some take 10 over years. But honestly, anything above 3 years is alittle too long to me.

I am not sure about you, but the really responsible men i met or know, cant wait to marry the gal once they are financially stable, and emotionally stable.
And that dont really take 7 long years.

Sure, i did said that time isnt the most important issue in a r/s but frankly, how many 7 years can a gal holds?
Even if she doesnt mind (which i doubt. yes, such gals exist but what are the chances- maybe 2 out of 10?)
7 years of youth, from a gal who is in her prime, in her twenties till now…i think the gal is in her 30s :/
All given to a man and this man has never given her any status by acknowledging her as his gf.

Thats worse than not proposing lah.

and thats the irresponsible part i am referring.

I seriously find that its a tad too much and yes he happens to be a celeb but we all know he is almost 50 and i dont think he needs to ‘maintain’ any image (if he has any except being a playboy)
I am sure the fans or whoever that are concern will be happy for him if he can settle down right?

So whats the problem? Why didnt he admit his r/s with this gal despite many photos taken.
So is she a fling or what?
Someone that he isnt proud to even acknowlege or what?

Ok, in case you think  that i am being too uptight about Celebs gossips…i nida emphasize, i am talking more of the r/s issue and not so much on Aaron Kwok and his Ex here.

My point is, despite any happenings (whether the gal is good or not, whether she wants marriage or not, whether she is a bitch or not), if you are still dating her after almost a decade (a decade is 10 years, so 7 years is…ok lah, almost a decade what) then you should at least admit her as your gf or have plans to marry her right?

If she is a bitch and she isnt worth marrying or if you are not sure if she is the 1, u shld just break off right? So you wouldnt be wasting her time and your own time right?

I feel it is a Man’s responsibility to be able to give sense of security to the woman he loves or wants.
Lets not look at this case as ‘Aaron Kwok’ the celeb.
If it is just a normal man, what other excuses would 1 have? (but as i mentioned before, it doesnt matter if he is a celeb or not because he is already outdated and nobody cares about his celeb status now because he isnt BigBang or Justin Bieber and i dun think it is wrong for me to say that people wud rather see or hear that he settle dwn than breaking another gal’s heart AGAIN)

So B was saying that i do not know what went wrong in the r/s and i shouldnt judge and all.

Sure.

I shouldnt judge but i aint saying what the others are saying of Aaron, I aint saying that he is a jerk because he sleeps around or because he is known to be a flirt and all.

My point here is, no matter who, celeb or not, a Man should be responsible and should be able to acknowledge the gf (he has never do so even  after 7years) and thats the only right thing to do, as a Man (despite status) Isnt it?

Well, he argued with me and pulling all the other philandering Male celebs in and blaming them, digging their scandals and all.

I was lik What The Heck?

I aint arguing here as a Fan leh, i am stating the facts about Irresponsible Men!?

Ok, so i cant be bothered to go on anymore.

Check this out, this is ridiculous:

B: maybe he wanted to marry her already leh?

I was like… why am i wasting my time talking abt this shitty piece of news with someone like B?

Then i remembered : i aint talking abt Aaron Kwok, i am in fact talking abt the responsibiliy of a Man lah!

And i was kinda pissed because i was putting myself in the gal’s shoes. I think if i have a daughter and my daughter is dating some1 for 7 years but the guy has no intention of marrying her, i will ask her to wake up her idea.
But! But if she didnt want to get married, i will prolly ask why and feel upset inside me (LOL) and perhaps just let her be…

BUT IF THE GUY SHE IS DATING DID NOT WANT TO OPENLY ADMIT THAT SHE IS HIS GF FOR 7 YEARS….i think i might disown her because i cant believe i will have sucha silly daughter! Haha. Kidding but i will really be very upset for her.

So, honestly, i wonder how B will feel if this happen to his daughter…like dating a irresponsible guy who refuses to acknowledge her as gf.

But as expected, we cudnt come to an agreement on this ‘ A MAN’s Responsiblity” issue. So we kinda stop talking.

Frankly, it is not  B i am complaining. I know everyone has their own thinking and i cant make every1 tinks like me.
But if the guy friends around me, if my dates, if my co workers think and behaves like B, i am screwed, i will cry.

1stly, i cant appreciate Men lusting over sleazy stuff online OPENLY (you may lah, i mean, you are an adult so you def have the right to make choices ma) but i dont like such men lah.

(Oh, even worse for guys who are attached. I know there are plenty. But i think there is still a small group of Men in the world that doesnt do such stuff lah. )
It reflects alot on a Guy i would say.
Imagine seeing Obama’s fb being linked to various sleazy pages…Omg Gross. dont even want to think about it.

These overly lustful men can also say they wont like a petty pricky woman like me too, i am fine leh.

Yes, some do it in the dark, thats worse. Definitely.

Integrity is doing something right even in the dark. So it will be best if a guy do not lust over such stuff so much, YES EVERYONE IS LUSTFUL I KNOW but you do not have to make it an addiction or habit right!
(is like, everyone likes fried chicken but do you eat it daily just because you like it? No what, you wud think of your weight, your shape, and most importantly- your health what! No?)

So, if you really cant be healthy and you need to …you know…look at boobs and feel high behind that keyboard, FINE.
But at least be discreet lah. 
I am not teaching Men to be sneaky ok, but i really dont get it why some men can feel no shame and say it is a virtue to be open about it.
Need to be proud of being open about seeing naked women bodies daily meh???

I cant appreciate people (Men especially) making excuses for their wrongdoings. Sure, i do that too, sometimes.
Every human err and i agree that nobody should judge anyone about that.

But honestly, making excuses for being irresponsible is really not sexy lah. Especially when a Man does that, it is so so not appealing.
Not Macho at all.

Ok, i aint a perfect woman, and i know i shouldnt even judge or discriminate horny and irresponsible men…LOL…but i just cant help it but write what i feel here. Because i am triggered to.
I believe almost every woman would feel the same too.

Of course, i admit that there are irritating things that women do that will piss a man off too. I cant deny that at all.
Thus we are all not perfect.

But….. But… But….What i wrote above is really….cant explain it, just something from me that i wana pen my views on…

Can’t help it if you dont like what you read.

Conclusion is…there isnt Right nor Wrong but whatever a person does, determines his or her character value.

How much are you worth then?

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Sex isnt problematic, Lust is.

Sex is created to exchange spirits, not fluids.

Sadly, not many people see sex importantly. To many, it was just an action, like taking a dump, like sleeping, like eating. like any other normal activity that makes one feel good.

Honestly, i dont deny it is a form of pleasure, it is a form of temptation and no temptation doesnt make one feel good (though the good feeling dont usually last)

Sex is created by God, a desire that pleasure both parties. If you find that your sex life is sad, probably it is really sad because it is an exchange of love emotions and spirits, between 2 people and you shouldnt feel sad about it. Worse is you are sad and the other party actually do not know or care.

Usually, the ultimate pleasure cant be achieved during ONS, or casual sex session. People feel good only during that few mins, or rather, most men feel exceptionally good during those few minutes.

What actually follows after that is emptiness.

Before my friends feel i am preaching again, i am not saying SEX should be after marriage, i am not acting Virgin here. According to the bible, yes, sex is something that should be done after marriage. But in relation to the  ‘world’s standard’, it is not advisable to let sex wait after marriage because you wouldnt wana realise that your spouse is actually a sex maniac on the night of your wedding.

So, what now?

I feel, it is up to individual to engage sex before or after marriage.
But i am really against casual sex and they includes …..Personally, i am very turned off by paying for sex, yes, prostitution, adultery sex (yes, irresponsible-selfish pleasure), and random casual sex.
Maybe i didnt feel so strongly about casual sex in the past, maybe is the society, maybe is the media, i dont know. But i feel i was blind before i really realise the blunt truth – Sex is not exchanging of fluids but spirits and emotions.

Would you want to exchange your spirits with someone random, someone who isnt worth your precious body ( most of the guys, i noe, your bodies are not as precious as you think)?

Forget about moral values, forget about all the self-righteous moral talks. I aint gona educate nor judge, plenty of people are still gona sleep around after reading this, some will roll their eyes in disbelief, some just cant be bothered.

Is fine, thats your life.

As for me, i wouldnt wana exchange fluids randomly that might be danergous (certain diseases), neither do i wana exchange my spirit with some1 random (i do not want to risk getting bad spirit from someone i dont know, who knows what kinda crap he might be).

Actually, spirits here do not mean spirits like ghost or soul. I believe there are spirits in a person, spirits like jealousy spirit, anger spirit, spirit of violence and  etc and there are also better ones like spirit of patience, spirit of generosity and etc.

I used to convince myself that sex is just an act, like 2 pieces of flesh rubbing against each other or wadever you call it. But it is obviously not, the intense mixed emotions involved is more than enough to tell me that it is not just an act. It involves everything of a person, not only physically but also mentally. For example – a cheating bf during sex,his mind was guilty (though very little part of it contains guilt at tt point of time), pleasure (tons of pleasure), thrill, and whatever..
Yep, it is actually doing your mental state good OR harm during sex because you are actually building emotions along with the act.

So, if sex is good with the wrong people, wrong gfs, wrong bfs, it will be better when you are having sex with the right one. Right? And by then, we no longer call it Sex. It is Making Love.

Anyways, just my thoughts, whats yours? (ok i dont need to know. shh)

 

p/s I love my husband (yet to meet, haha) but i love you before i met you
because i know that if you are able to be my husband (and read this at the right time),
you must be some1 i really love.
I love myself but i love you too
and thats why i am protecting my body now, for you.
Because you matter to me, your feelings are important
and your happiness is what i care about.
I do not want to stain  myself with some random people and stain you.
I understand that not many, in fact, i do not know if there is anyone that still thinks this way…
But i aint a freak, you knew it.
I just love my body too much to let it risk being stained.

Clubbing is NOT Sex-ing (wrong marketing lines woes)

Recently, i see a huge amount of OBSCENE advertisements and shout outs from different Night spots (in my FB)

The insenstive artwork i saw of 1 of the clubs. We can disregard the distasteful art, but the tagline is just cheap.
*i adjusted the colors though, and is slightly different from original artwork,

My Facebook is filled with shout-outs from different Nightclubs (NOT the sleazy dirty ktv nightclubs. Nightclubs in this sense, are the discotheques in Sg). and these shout outs have alot to do with One Night Stands, have alot to do with casual SEX and full dodgy hidden meanings.

Firstly, i am not gonna preach about how holy sex should be, it is my belief that when 2 become 1, not only 2 flesh r joined together, but also, their souls and spirits. It should be shared between husband and wife and…. yea, and it should be special in this way and so it is.

Even if sex is not a great deal to most people (like how i used to think in the past), it shouldnt be taken lightly.

Casual sex is fun, but empty (ok, i dont even think is fun because i am a woman, perhaps?)
Casual sex is cheap (even a whore needs to be paid, if you are a free 1, how cheap can you get?)
Casual sex leaves regrets (i guess i do not need to address the issue of Aids here.)

Whatever it is, SEX should never be the main focus of Clubbing. SEX shouldnt be the main marketing focus or direction of an organisation.
I know, i know that Sex sells. I was marketing for a Nightspot located in Clarke Quay 1 year ago, and i practically ‘live’ at the clubs 3/4 of my life back then, seeing tons of different people.
How would i not know that if a Club is filled with sexy hot babes, there will be men, very naturally. Very naturally, sales will be better too.

However, the thing i am saying here is…. shout outs lik – <“I wana Suck and Lick you all night” @ “ReBorn’s Lollipoppy night” >, <“I am yours tonight, play me all over” @ “Monk”>, <“Rub you the right way at “Kaya factory”> are plainly cheesy and downright  low-class.

Do you REALLY think that, by saying all that, can attract attention of the right crowd?
The smaller clubs are really desperate for attention as competition is tough here, yes.

However, the so-called “atas” and premium club that’s located in the central of Singapore, in a prestigious Hotel, is shouting about 1 night stands on a weekly basis, Is it necessary?

Whats worse than labelling yourself as a members only club, but on the other hand, promoting your club as a whore den?

I wonder if the marketing person (of those places) is just a sex maniac or he/she just couldn’t  propose better taglines, or better stuffs to shout about, besides sex.

To be Fair, not all the clubs in Sg are that cheap. 1 example is Zouk. ( i am not promoting Zouk even though i personally like the place)

They are cool in their way, i dont really see the ‘sex element’ in their marketing collaterals. (yes they have pretty models on the posters sometimes, but nothing too over, no dodgy taglines, no casual sex promos)

I know, Clubbing is indirectly linked to decadence and sex. However, i do not see the need of obscene and somewhat offensive taglines. (unless you’re a strip club).

Many forget that, Music is the main element of a club. Some do not care, some do not know nor understand. Is ok. Is sad, but is ok.
I dont know my music very well, i listen to all kinds, as long as it is pleasing to ears, i do not prefer any specific genre.
Thus, when people laugh at me when i do not understand ‘their music’, i am fine, sometimes, i feel, no1 understands ‘my kinda music’ too.
So…whatever.

Clubbing can be fun, with the right amount of booze, Good company, Great Music. They will make a great night for most of us.

I seriously do not think that, by adding tons of Sex promotions and shout outs, will entice the experience of Clubbing much.
Look. those sleazy taglines, sex-filled contents of the marketing collaterals do not really reflect very well on the Club’s Branding and image too.

As Club goers are getting younger and younger nowadays, “thanks for educating them about 1 night stand this way”.
“You really help the society!”
Yes, internet, porno,media are alreadydoing that, but because of your irresponsible “sexual marketing”, you just did your part in encouraging casual sex.
Nope, dont deny that, you help out in that area by portraying  that casual sex is ‘cool’.

No matter how we whine, this sad fact might not change much of how the clubs want to do with their image though, however, i sincerely hope that kids can be smarter.

Honestly,it is difficult for the marketing team of a Club nowadays, we know. So difficult to stick to promoting music and other stuffs BUT sex. Thus, if their ideas are limited, we gotta remind ourselves that..Clubbing has very little to do with Casual sex and One Night Stands.

*been there done that, the wild days of partying, the experiences of decadence. not at all innocent and pure. just my 2 cents on how people market their business nowadays. in no position to critisize, but have my right to blog my views, at least-i believe,

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