Believe. Faith. Love. When they are alive, HE is alive.

Posts tagged ‘updates’

Vdates May (Birthday 2013 post)

IMG_20130504_19Hi^

Its a new month! Its May May May~ Its my Birthday month^ My Birthday was yesterday and i am wiser by another year ūüôā

What Old? Old? I am still so young please. 30 is the new 20 and i am still far from 30, so technically i am still in my teens.

HAHAHA.

I had many celebrations this year and it was nothing i expected. If you read my blog regularly, you would have known what happened previously and also why i did not expect to have celebrations this year.

However, whatever is the past is the past, i really do not wish to bring them up anymore. I am just happy that i enjoyed myself this year with different celebrations.

Anyway, this is another post about my updates and also my birthday highlights. So, before i start with my birthday celebrations, lemme briefly talk about what happened before that.

I took 1 whole week of MC during the week of Labour Day. Not that i want to enjoy 5 days of PH though. Mon i was having slight fever but it is nothing serious. However, my back was hurting so much that i decided to see a doc about it. It really might just be the age (ahem, my body age that is) The doctor said that it might just be my sitting position.

Ok…

For that, i really should just ask Gary about it since he is the expert.

Then i got to the polyclinic on Tues to check on my ears and backache followed by the slight fever (you know how serious the dengue cases are nowadays). Something went wrong with the ears and i cant hear clearly so they helped to clean up the ears and it improved.

I continued to take the anti pain medicine i got from Monday and on Tues night, i put on a mask before i slept.

Wednesday was Labour day and it was also a Public Holiday in Singapore. However, i woke up to my HORROR, to this:

IMG-20130502-WA0000

Terrible.

I almost couldnt recognise myself. Felt so damn angry. I am not sure who i am angry with or what i am angry with, i am just upset.

My face was so swollen and itchy, full of rashes and my eyes cant really open.

I do not know which to blame, the mask or the medicine that causes the allergy but am i furious. My skin used to be so silky smooth and in just 1 night, it turned into sandpaper. As for my eyes, i am speechless.

Look at me.
With make up and without make up on the top and below pics are just way beyond recognition.
My friends thought i went for plastic surgery!
Madness.

IMG_20130501_234436

Whatever it is, i am not risking again. Thus i will never buy any cheapo mask that is on sale anymore. EVEN IF IT IS FROM GUARDIAN. Cheapo masks just cannot be trusted.
I am also gonna be more careful about the med i take.

The doctor did not really identify the real reason of my allergy but she gave me some anti-swell and anti-itch medicine and 2 days of mc for Thurs and Fri.

I guess my boss is displeased but i cant do much. As much as i want to be professional about work but honestly, to me now- work is just work.

Yes, we should be diligent when it comes to work but i really do not believe in sacrificing health for work. I used to do that when i was with Lifebrandz and frankly, nobody appreciates and despite staying till wee hours for my work with a swollen eye back then, there is simply NO appreciation from the direct boss at all (not to even mention the management-they all saw how bad my eye was infected but so? they do not care)

So…i really think it is not wise to risk health for work. It is afterall just work.
I saw this somewhere “never let your work make you unhappy, it is just work”

I think it is  very true.

Anyway, my bday week wasnt so good eh? Down with sickness and all. haha.
When i return to work, i saw this rude email from 1 of the IT consultant (we sub out to this IT person to handle our IT issues) :

The following needs proper instructions :

  1. Membership tab ‚Äď Please provide the exact writeup for updating
    (FYI, i provided this info for 3 times and i wonder if he understands English)
  2. Event and Promo ‚Äď Please let me know what exactly needs to be done, don‚Äôt let me decide, if it cannot be done, I will let you know.
    (i was asking for his advise since he is supposed to be the expert of IT. But he seemed to be offended)
  3.  Do not question why this and why that, if need to remove or change, please provide info.
    (I do not know why cant i ask the reasons. I have a boss to account to. What is so difficult about answering the IT questions because non of us know why and especially my Boss. Isnt his job to explain to us why certain glitch happens? If we dont ask him, we ask who?)

I am so tempted to post his company name here but i reckon it is not very ethical n since i am still working here, i shant announce it now.
I really really do not understand why are the people SO RUDE in here. The colleagues, the management, every single one.

Ok, you might say i am the real problem since everyone else ‘seem to be the baddie’ as i described. I really do not think it is unfair to say that because what you hear or see is just 1 sided story of mine.

But i can only say, i have never try covering my fault if any. Everytime i ask nicely about something, i will be snubbed, everytime i ask someone to do something (within their jobscope) they will behave rudely.

Worse, the people here SMIRKS everytime you present an idea. How nice.

Really really terrible here. I have been working for years and i met different people.
There were conflicts yes, but never one time did i encounter such weird culture before…a place FULL OF RUDENESS.

197686_539127249471432_151242746_n (1)

I am really enduring and if not for the plan i had………….

I can only say that i am upset daily whenever i turn up for work now.
Lost the motivation because there isnt unity when it comes to work. And i cant possibly be the only person to make things work.

But what can i do right?

Hold on since i cant do much and i still have plannings on hand…

Ok, anyway, i dont even feel like talking about my job no more. It will dampen my mood.

Oh, 1 more thing i just heard from the colleagues – “Malaysians are so hardworking, Singaporeans can never be as hardworking….”
(then why r you here?)
a min later – “Malaysians are best in cheating, Singaporeans better, wont cheat (in political votings)”

Then, another of my colleague is telling me how the bitchy Ops Manager is bitching about me behind my back, saying i feigned illness to skip work.

Seriously…

Feign Illness?

This is call Feigning illness????

This photo is NOT EDITED and TRY looking like this just to feign illness???

IMG-20130501-WA0002

.

.

ENOUGH OF SUPER SHALLOWNESS.

My Birthie is much worthy to be mentioned that the rotten worms.

IMG_20130502_164718

IMG_20130501_024736Love the Birthday Card from Church. ūüôā

.

My first celebration was with Zen my bff. Haha. We havent been catching up till recently. He is 1 of my best male friends, some one that i can trust alot but he is very noisy. HAHA.

IMG_20130501_3

We basically  hang out at KPO with Moscato (yearning satisfied) and we chat up for abit. Never really stay out for long as i am still tired from the backaches and never really celebrate but the catch up was good.

:))

IMG_20130502_2

IMG_20130502_165859

IMG_20130501_004210

IMG_20130501_020307

IMG_20130502_6

IMG_20130502_5

IMG_20130502_4

IMG_20130502_10

(Please note that this happened on Tuesday night, no more Fever and it was the eve of the public holiday. This is also the day i cleared my ear infection and thus was given MC for the day. Just the wait itself at the clinic took 3hrs. That is excluding the consultation and the procedure of cleaning the ear. Thus the MC given is also legit. **THIS IS BEFORE I GOT THAT SWOLLEN FACE AS SHOWN ON TOP. I was having ear infection and the problem was solved after the cleaning. I  continued to take my anti pain med for my backaches.)

Anyway, i hate to explain and reason everything i do, specially so when i am innocent. The above explanation will be the last explanation i have to give. I trust that the doctors employed by Singapore Polyclinics are not phonies that can help you take sick leaves just anyhow. Doubting me is just as well as doubting the doctors and i really hope that these bitchy people/colleagues will never be sick ever because i wonder who will say that they are feigning sickness the next time round they are sick.

I also went dinner with my Family. We ate very good food though they are just hawker food. My sis brought us there. I did not talk much to her but we did communicated and we started to talk again, not as much as before but we are talking at home.

I guess thats good. ūüôā

So Mum, Aunt and Sis gave me a treat.

Thats my first Bday Dinner.


IMG_20130501_192034
IMG_20130501_13

IMG_20130501_191552

IMG_20130501_11
IMG_20130502_141641IMG_20130502_165658

Went over to Gf’s place and had Mian Xian. She did not cook specially for me thou. HAHA. It was just coincidental that she cook mian xian.
We chatted, watched TVB drama and laughed about nonsense. I played w the doggies as usual.

IMG_20130503_4

IMG_20130503_1

IMG_20130503_2 IMG_20130503_3

Then, it was my Ex schmates turn to celebrate with me!

They really gave me a great surprise.

Initially i only asked 3 or 4 friends to gather and have dinner over the weekend. ( I even planned for it to be on weekend because i did not want to do it on weekdays since everyone and including myself is working. Look, if i want to feign illness, i can conveniently ask them to do it over weekdays since they also wudnt mind)

But anyway, they gave me a huge surprise when the other people whom i did not invite, turn up for the dinner. Actually i would love to get all of them but i was afraid that they wouldnt be bothered because they are very busy people! We have also not been contacting for sometime…

So can you imagine my happiness when i see these friends who made an effort to come for my Bday!


IMG_20130503_5Dress of the day, i like!

IMG_20130503_7
IMG_20130503_8

IMG_20130505_22

IMG_20130505_18

IMG_20130505_19

IMG_20130505_20

IMG_20130503_6
IMG_20130503_9

IMG_20130503_10

IMG_20130503_14

IMG_20130503_11

IMG_20130503_12

IMG_20130503_13

Thou my expression didnt show much because i am not really some1 who can show my excited and happy feelings on my face, but i was really very happy that night.

There were Regine (credits to her because she organised this party), Jay (he supported greatly and he choose the lovely lovely venue), Aaron and wife, Ricky, Alan, Cole, Shuling and KP.

We had dinner at The Fullerton Waterboat House. The food is very good and i will definitely be back again. Really very good catching up over dinner and every1 look so good and well. I am happy that each and every 1 of us is moving on and progressing well in life.

images22222222

IMG_20130503_211508

0211

We moved to the rooftop bar above after dinner and we took hell lotsa pics that night, the place overlook MBS and has really nice scenaries.

Later on, Jay, Aaron & wife, Shuling, me and KP went singing while the rest ended their night as they  were very tired. Actually all of us were very tired but it is weekend and i am already recovering and my face wasnt so swollen already, so we thought of hanging out more.

IMG_20130504_170031

IMG_20130504_1

IMG_20130504_2

IMG_20130504_3

IMG_20130504_4

IMG_20130504_6

IMG_20130504_8

IMG_20130504_9

IMG_20130504_11

IMG_20130504_13

IMG_20130504_14

IMG_20130504_15

IMG_20130504_16

IMG_20130504_17

IMG_20130504_18

IMG_20130504_19

IMG_20130504_20

IMG_20130504_21

IMG_20130504_165152

We headed home after the long night and i remember we were really happy that night.

The second last celebration was of course with my dearies HAPPY 3! My most most supportive friends – Gary and Seven.

We had Mookata and Gary treated us to that. So awesome but so sinful. He topped it up with a sinful choc cake that tastes like heaven. haha!

I love the earrings he and Seven bought and i will definitely wear them soon ūüôā

IMG_20130505_055643

IMG_20130505_071712

IMG_20130505_170355

IMG_20130505_4

IMG_20130505_000813

IMG_20130505_021053

We went to sing again because Gary felt like singing and i can only say…i was really touched by the love of these 2.

I was happy, really happy.

My last celebration was with my family again. Mum cooked alot of awesome dishes and there is my fav fried chicken (i had a really sinful week and because i was unwell the whole week, i did not manage to exercise last week -_-)

Aunt and Sis went to buy the Choc Truffle cake at SwissBake for me. It was really really nice of them and the cake taste so so so good!!!!!!

I thank Aunt for coming over specially to celebrate with me on my actual day! ūüôā

IMG_20130505_222142

IMG_20130505_26

IMG_20130505_27

IMG_20130505_28

IMG_20130505_30

IMG_20130505_31Pardon the PJ. I am at home, what you expect me to wear. haha.
Yah, i dont wear tshirts at home!
I love PJs!

IMG_20130505_183221

Yea, thats all for all the celebrations this year, this year is by far, my best bday year ever. I remember i was sad every other year in the past years. So i am really thankful for this year. ūüôā

Thank you my dear dear family and friends, thank God for these angels.

Thank you again and again, because i really did not expect all these surprises and love. It is true that surprises and happiness best come without expectations.

Although i have not many fanciful presents this year but to be very honest, i enjoyed myself more than any of my past bdays. Maybe as i grew, i cherish people around me more than material stuffs.

I think the medicine (anti- itch) is acting on me and i am groggy now.

So i shall stop here and let the pictures do the talking. Till the next update!

p/s thanks all who sms/whatsapp and fb me for my bday. Appreciate it!

Loves

ValliezLesley

Advertisements

Vdates 3rd week April 2013

IMG_20130420_8Hi^

Its another week and i am seriously dreading the coming month. I have no mood to celebrate my Bday and i dont even like the idea of my Bday approaching that fast.

Totally hated it and am still dreading it. I know i shouldnt but i cant help it. My Bday seems to be shitty every year.

Anw, first and foremost, i feel so sorry for the loss of  one of the local actors. He passed away last Sat due to lymphoma cancer.
I am not a big fan of local entertainment/ mediacorp shows or ‘celebs’. Well i just watch wadever is on the tv since the tv is already on most of the time when i return home from work, daily.

But this actor can really act, and he does not possess that arrogant aura that most of the local celebs do. In other words, he is rather humble as he appears.

It is the loss of Singapore’s media scene.

hwy

Rip Mr Huang. You will be missed. 

Anyway, there are too many sad news recently. I guess the world is turning sadder day by day. Nobody want to read or hear about the news nowadays because it is filled with too much sadness and negative stuffs. What makes it worse is the ignorant comments coming from the netizens.

There are bombings, serious rape cases, stupid adultery scandals, natural disasters, wars and whatnot.

It is really depressing to read about the news now.

I have not much to update too.

I am not really happy but i aint that depressed now… it is getting better for me, i guess.

While i am still not very motivated for the plan i had but i know i have to face it someday unless i quit.

I am giving myself a break till May. Will officially get really busy when May comes. Time really flies isnt it. Before we knw it, it is already almost half a year of 2013.

ūüė¶

Anw, just to touch on the sermon of Mary Magdalene (i mentioned in my previous blogpost)..

I rem i was still in a very depressed state and i just suddenly decided to read some biblical material/ books. I do not usually like to read, i rather listen to sermons most of the time.
Thus i dont usually pick up those stack of books on my desk.

That particular night…i picked up 1 booklet sent by RBC¬†Ministries¬†.
Previously, Christina (my CG mate) registered for me and got them to send me materials regularly.
I was really guilty of not reading them because i am lazy… ūüė¶

So anw, that night before i read the booklet, i actually said a short prayer and i mentioned “Jesus, i do not know if you are around. I know you are real, but i do doubt your existence whenever i am so depressed…i am guilty of that but if U are around, will you please give me a sign?”

Then i went to my bed, still tearing, holding a booklet by RBC – it is about Mary Magdalene.

I was reading by myself and my Mum came in.

She on her daily podcast (i seriously think God is very good to my Mum. She was playing with her radio on her hp previously and she just randomly chance upon this FM channel that gives sermons daily in mandarin) and she began to listen.
I do not usually listen to her podcast as it is in Mandarin, i am more used to listen to English ones but i do listen with her sometimes.
She might not understand what she is listening but she enjoys listening and sometimes she would ask me. I am so happy for her.

So that night, she came in with her podcast and i read my material…I never talk to anyone in the family after the fight with my sis, thus i just do my own stuff while she does hers.

As i was reading this in my mind in English “Jesus chased 7 demons out of Mary Magdalene and the name of this lady was mentioned in the bible for more than 12 times…”
Mum’s podcast was speaking the EXACT WORDS IN MANDARIN!!! OMG.

I was so shocked, i mean..what are the chances!??!

I dont usually listen to her podcast and i dont usually read the books sent by RBC…
But on that particular depressing night, after i made that tiny prayer… I actually experienced this very rare and weird, yet peaceful encounter!

¬†I do not know how to describe but it is very amazing. Some might tell me it is just coincidence but i really do not think it is so coincidental…Somehow, something in me tells me that Jesus gave me this sign that HE is there.

I feel peaceful and i fell asleep with Peace in me, for the 1st time after the fight broke out between Sis and me in the family.

As i type this now, i can still feel the goosebumps… Just imagine! Reading and listening the same thing altogether, in 2 different languages and coming from 2 different sources, in the same room.

It is very creepy haha but it is really very miraculous.

Praise my Lord for the little surprise ūüôā

Anw, just fyi, after reading, i actually realise that alot of people including myself, mistaken Mary Magdalene as the prostitute, or the woman that committed adultery in the bible. She is actually NOT and there is no concrete evidence that she worked as a prostitute. 

jesus-appears-to-mary-magdalene

But i have to say, the devil isnt some1 that gives up easily too. I was disturbed in the morning, when i was praying, there is this constant voice (not literally in my ear but more like it is speaking in my head. I cant tell if it is psychological on my part but i noe the uneasy feeling in me) that ask me why am i praying and speaking to me telling me  that it is of no use even if i pray.

The feeling was very uneasy and i rem feeling very tired and angry…

I never stop praying though and i even play the worship Songs sang by Sun and i tried to keep myself calm while listening and praying at the same time.

The uneasy feeling only went away after a while…

For non believers, you might be skeptical because i would be too. Even the believers might find it hard to believe but all that i share here is true.
I just thought of sharing and hopefully this encourages you that God is always with you, no matter what you are going through.

It is hard for me because i realise that everytime i minister to people in need, or even when i am just assuring friends and readers in my blog that God is around us, something not so nice wud happen to me, and i know perfectly well that it is from the evil and NOT from God.

I know that my assurance will bite back at me each time but i believe my God is larger than the world’s problem, He will not leave me nor shortchange me.

As i am typing now, situation at home still did not change and it is as bad as it can be and thus i m not looking forward to my Bday. I always thought it will be nice to celebrate with my family, with fun and joy… but looking at it now, it most probably wont happen already.

But by Faith, i am still hoping for the best, even if it doesnt happen on my Bday this year, hopefully things will turn out better soon.

I still believe that God will turn every situation around that is meant to break me.
I still believe that HE will use every situation to bring out the best of me, for me.
I still believe whatever HE allows is for the Best final end result and the process is not important.

Besides, they say that before a great blessing come pass, there will be trials..isnt it?

Frankly, my Christian journey is full of ups and downs. There are also a huge number of skeptics in my life, be it close friends or just friends…
I have people questioning my Faith, i have myself questioning my own Faith, i have people questioning my character and my¬†thinking…

Sometimes it is tiring for me. I am a Christian and that doesnt mean i am perfect, it just means that i am so well aware that i am imperfect and thats why i humble myself and i allow God to work in me. I might fail now and then but i shouldnt be judged as if i am Jesus Christ Himself… Instead, i hope you can see what makes me better and who actually help me along the way. I am trying my best to be good but sometimes i fail, and i fail really hard. Do you know that my best is nothing compared to God’s? Thus i am trying to let God take over, it is easier said than done actually.

I always say i should stay happy no matter who say or does what to me. In this world, too many people are teaching you what to do and what not to do.

I have people telling me “hey you should do this and you shouldnt do that”, i have people saying that “how come u like urself so much that u have to post pictures of urself all the time?”, “how cme u look better in pictures?” , “how come you are not as rich as compared to others in your church?” “how come you still lose your temper, you are a Christian and you shouldnt be angry”, “how come u r not dating? u stay at home everyday, how to get a bf like that? you should go out more!”….. SERIOUSLY.

Worse, a hairstylist who is apparently my church friend even say that i shouldnt cut my hair short because i am not skinny.
Yes, i am not skinny, i am not super slim. I am¬†voluptuous¬†but i am Not fat. But in ignorant Asians’ eyes, a UK8 or 10 is already Darn fat.

So, why do these people care so much? Do they really care or do they just wana talk bad about you?

Look, why cant i upload pics of myself? I like to!

Look, why cant my pics look better than my real? I dont look that bad in real please, my pics are not photo shopped and i am not admitting that i use photoshop because i do not know how.
They are filtered like everyone else’s, i did make use of apps to make them look better by adjusting lightings & colors and i admit that i use a new software now ¬†(on my¬†android)¬† to make the skin look smoother, the chin sharper.
So? Every gal does  that too, so why are u faulting me?
I like what i see and i do not change the entire picture to be another person. You can still recognize me from the pictures isnt it? NO?

Look, why cant i have short hair just because i am not model-thin? So curvy gals should always have long hair to cover the face? I dont get it.

Look, why cant i be angry? It doesnt mean i am a robot with no feelings just because i am a Christian!?

The world is madness. People are not looking at themselves but they are looking at others and criticizing others.

It is easy to say “Ignore others, just do everything with conscience and with¬†integrity and feel happy” but how many can actually do that and not feel affected?

It is really not easy to live with critical people and the world will really be better if people stop teaching others what to do.
But it wont happen so we have to always adjust ourselves. Sadly.

Well, i thought of dying so many times before. (of course my problems are more than what i typed up there lah. Obviously i wont want to die just because people’s critisize me of not being skinny right?!)
But honestly, if Dying is the solution, the whole world should be Dead long ago.

We are all waiting and anticipating that ray of light each and every day isnt it?

So, thats the life i am living. Everyday. I am not any better than any of you here. Just in case people think that i am living very well and happy and  thus i can post all the positive and happy posts. I did not reveal my sadness previously, but that doesnt mean i am not sad ok. I am sad.

But i guess i am learning to be happier, everyday.

ūüôā

I believe God will not shortchange me, maybe there is still hope in me. Haha.

Even if is 1% of hope. I hang on to it…I hope that you are hanging on to Hope too. For you will not know what tomorrow brings.

Ok, i dont know why it turns a little emotional now.. haha, so i better stop!

On a side note, i am loving my skin now. Havent been so perfect for quite sometime! Thanks to Hada LaBo!

IMG_20130421_3

IMG_20130421_2

Ok, this is Confirmed non edited/ non filtered – bare skin under normal lightings.
Get that bottle of Hada Labo and try out now!

IMG_20130421_1This is obviously filtered.

Gf is complaining to me now over wechat, haha. I am blessed to have cute and awesome friends. Though not alot but i am thankful for real friends and a few of them is enough ūüôā¬†And i miss the 4 babies of Gf!

I cant wait to go back to church, head out with gf, 7 and Gary soon, hurhur.

Today is Monday, arghh. 4 more days to weekend and i seriously cant wait. What makes the wait even more miserable and unbearable is my injured leg. Guess i overstretched it and i am kinda crippling now. I hope it gets better so that i can go jog soon ūüė¶

IMG_20130420_1 IMG_20130418_1I am loving my new exercise gear in neon colors! ūüėÄ

IMG_20130420_18Mum and me eating infamous Tao Huey at Granny’s.

As i said, i have nothing much to update now so i shall stop here. Till e next post! God Bless.

Some Pictures (ok, is ALOT) of my Hair now, i love the Purple streaks (and some of them turned pink now)

I might get rid of them soon? Still deciding if i should do another color, so i better showcase them now. haha.

IMG_20130418_2
IMG_20130418_3
IMG_20130418_4
IMG_20130420_2
IMG_20130420_3
IMG_20130420_4
IMG_20130420_5
IMG_20130420_6
IMG_20130420_9
IMG_20130420_10
IMG_20130420_11
IMG_20130420_12
IMG_20130420_17

IMG_20130420_7

Loves
ValliezLesley

Vdates – the broken one.mid Apr 2013

Hi.

I do not know what to say or how to start but i am gona do it before this blog turns into another dead piece of place.

First of all, i am better but i am obviously still hurting. This hurt has turned from something so raw to an inner hurt from within.

Imagine Pain from a raw wound to an internal pain in the bones kinda pain.

Yeap.

It is very painful but since i am still breathing, i guess i have to just bite on…

I was feeling so lethargic and i wonder why. Because i am not usually that tired (yes i am tired but not till this extent)… I woke up feeling super restless and really really sleepy. I wonder why. I slept earlier than usual (used to be 1am) and has been sleeping earlier at around 10+ or 11pm.

Yet, i am feeling super super drainned.

Frankly, i am quite worried.

I was reading around and i chance upon articles about Depression.

HERE.

I cant help feeling afraid because it is the symptoms i have been experiencing.

It is total sadness.

I once heard that, if you want to overcome your fear or depression, you have to face the reality that you are depressed or you have to come face to face and confront your fear (be it fear of height, fear of getting into another r/s and fear of whatever)

Yes, i know i am depressed emotionally but i did not expect myself to be depressed in the health, i did not expect myself to be mentally unhealthy- that’s what i mean.

And honestly, i find it hard to go home. I return home with a heavy heart and i hate to face the people at home. I dont hate the people but i just hate to face them.

Especially my sister. Life seems normal for her, she does not feel anything and yes, perhaps she shouldnt be feeling anything… Not that i hope that she is living in misery but it pricks me to see her so nonchalant and ignorant about the hurts she has brought.

In another words, she is trying hard to be a stranger in a family and thats not exactly something i ought to be happy about.

Returning home now is just like going back to a House to sleep, eat and bathe.

Right, that home i used to call home, is now a house to me. No love, No Warmth, Nothing.

Thats what she described when she was young and when there wasnt anyone with her in the family.

Ironically, now that everyone is around, trying to make things better (except that abusive Dad of mine, he isnt around anymore) and i feel even more lonely than ever. The House is now filled with people, but the loneliness is not any lesser, but worse.

I hope she is happy that i am getting this treatments, that i have to go through loneliness with more people in the family which she went through alone years back.

Yes, i am tasting the shit, i am also recalling how Dad used to abuse me and dote on you. Are you happy now that i am worse off than you?

Do you still feel that you are the only Victim in the family now?

I can assure you that i am going through Hell now, are you glad?

I have been praying to God for Grace and Forgiveness. I cant stand the fact that she is so blinded by her selfishness and she cant see the hurts she caused me. I do not know how to overcome now and i really pray that i can see her and look at her, her doings, in God’s way, through God’s eyes.

Because my own eyes failed and my heart for her failed and died.

This blog is started to spread Positive thinking and stuffs.

I did not imagine that it can be so hurtful and low, but i am sorry guys, i cant hold it inside me anymore. Suicidal thoughts are worse and everytime i think about what might happen after i am dead, i cant help thinking that it might be better if i am dead.

But looking at it, my mum would probably be so hurt and she wud have wasted all her efforts in bringing me up…

My friends might forget me, shrugs. I dont even dare to think of what my sister will feel.

1 of my favorite artiste suicides and he left the world feeling so upset for his departure from earth. Рis that really what i want for my Mum?

Suicide is not a feasible solution, afterall? …….

I am also trying my best to be better and to recover… Trust me, i am doing my best…

Just to take a break from all these sadness (i am not emo. i am really very upset.  & i guess it is not hard to understand.i will never emo for things that are pointless)

Since the sister has decided to back out from the ‘plan’ we had initially, i have to start the journey alone, yes all by myself. It is not a bad thing but it is not really worth being happy.

In any way, i will have to continue the plan and not letting circumstances bring me down, right?

The Sister’s friend did told me that he is more concern about my family well being than my plan. I appreciated that thought but honestly, instead of holding on to something that is not within my control… i have to grab on to something which i can control isnt it?

Do i hv to lose everything before the whole Depression gets worse?

So thats that for my ‘plan’. Will share more when things are more firmed.

I got myself registered in the recent craze (not so much in Singapore but more of TW, HK and China). Weibo.

My account is so new and i honestly feel ashamed, terribly ashamed that i cant even navigate.

It is all in Chinese, not  that i cant read Chinese but honestly, to read everything in Chinese is really tedious and i feel giddy while doing  that.

Some of its instructions are so deep (to me) and i just want to give up using it.

It is like Twitter but much much harder (maybe language aside, the way it is constructed is really not very user friendly).

Ayte, i started it for fun, for stalking of Celebs (if i hv the time) so it doesnt matter.

If you r a weibo user, do add me up and perhaps you can guide me how to use!

My Weibo is at http://weibo.com/valliezfaith or you can find me at Valliez Lesley.

Not sure how to add friends even, dont ask me. Ha.

I went over to visit GF again and i frankly felt better though it is hurting inside me the whole while. But Cel and the 4 doggies did their part and their best to cheer me up.

We played and we had fun with our ‘mini project’ and we ¬†drank the very not nice Champagne that i brought over.¬†Chatted till dawn and i really like the time spent.

IMG_20130413_10IMG_20130413_11

IMG_20130413_4 IMG_20130413_9

IMG_20130413_22 IMG_20130413_1 IMG_20130413_15 IMG_20130413_8 IMG_20130413_13

Gf looking prettyIMG_20130413_12 IMG_20130413_3 IMG_20130413_14
IMG_20130413_6

OMGIMG_20130413_17 IMG_20130413_18 IMG_20130413_19 IMG_20130413_20

.

.

perhaps one’s sadness can really be told through the eyes. they say i have sad eyes. WT!

IMG_20130413_16 IMG_20130413_2

Thanks babies. ūüôā I really feel¬†slightly¬†better that night…

IMG_20130412_1

Its been sometime!

IMG_20130412_3

Random play
(lyrics seems legit now, for me)

.

Then it is time for Church on Sat. I did not serve that particular Sat because i do not think i have the capacity to minister to hurting people when i am hurting and doubting. Perhaps i am still not vry mature in handling my own emotions and minister works. But i guess is better that i acknowledge it than forcing it through.

Well, someone went with me, though i appreciate that someone went with me but i am really not thankful that the whole thing bores him and the whole outing was like crap. Full of boredom and sadness. Like i say, i have no special feeling or yearning towards someone &/ or anyone right now.

Anyway, i do not need anyone to accommodate to me anymore, if it is not to your liking, then dont do it on account of me. In short, dont do anyting for me against ur liking.

Well, whatever.

The movie later on that Sat was TERRIBLY CRAPPY – the Exorcism part 2 or something. It deserves 0.5 star over 5 stars. I dont even know how i manage to give it 0.5 stars. It is the lousiest movie i watched in these 2 years i think. Please dont even try. Just wait for Fushion or wadever.

What really was the best on Sat was Pastor Kong’s Sermon on Saturday.

20120626.144537_jun2612_konghee

It touches me as it really touches the raw wound i am having. As usual. I used to find it hard to hear from God during tough times but i have to be thankful that most of the time, when i am desperately hurt and in need, God still speaks to me.

That day, Church sang a worship song and i cant remember the title but there was this lyrics that goes: I am desperate for you (Jesus)

Honestly, life is not at its best but it has been great till this recent family sadness happened. I did not forget Jesus of course, before, during the incident. But i admit i was abit slacked off before this incident.

Also, whenever i help to minister to someone hurting, telling and assuring the person about God, days later i will be confronted by the Devil of the same doubts as that person whom i ministered to.

You might be thinking “then i really wont dare to help anyone anymore” I have that thinking too. But honestly, thank God and Holy Spirit, i can never bear to see some1 in pain so i will always help if i can, even if it means i will have to go through trials myself.

Anyway, i just want to say, no matter if i am going through trials because my leaders are going through trials or whether i wud go through trials because ¬†i am doing God’s works…. I will bite on and not stop doing whats right because God’s favour will be on people who have a heart for Him and doing His works.

Yes, i am very very hurt and depressed still… but that doesnt mean God is unreal right? I believe He is still with me, probably He hasnt show up or show any solution yet but by Faith, i believe. Even Oxygen doesnt seem like it is ¬†physically there, but i still breathe in Oxygen right?

Ok, continuing where i left off, after worship song, i realise that i really am desperate for Jesus now. It is human nature, when you are in trouble, you will then cry louder and yearn deeper for your Saviour. Right?

Pastor Kong went on to preach about Faith. It is a common topic for any Christian and honestly, if i did not go through the hurts i have in Family, i will probably sleep on this topic again. It seems like ‘Faith’ has been overly preached.
Probably this is the time i should receive Words abt Faith again.

I cant remember the whole sermon, and i used to think that is very bad. But i grew to realise and know that, you do not need to understand the whole sermon to be edified. Even if you only receive 1 point out of the many points, you have received the Word that you needed.

I remember Pastor Kong saying this (this has been said many times by different pastors before too but i guess i needed this reminder hard in the face) – The devil has came to steal, steal what? Steal your wealth? Steal your house? Steal your income? Steal your bf/gf? The devil can steal everything but everything else can be recovered, eg. income can be cut but you will never b jobless forever if you r willing to work.
There is one thing that is dangerous that the devil steal & this as it might not be recoverable  Рyour Faith.

My Faith was terribly shaken and i even blame God for not removing the label on me. The label of ¬†‘inferiority’ and ‘depression’. I questioned and i drifted away and i really feel a distance between Jesus and me. It was not until this sermon, which reminded me that Faith is something that bridges the distance between me and God. I am only far from God because my Faith is breaking and the bridge therefore is breaking..

My Faith is weak, it might not even be the size of a whole mustard seed, but i believe there is still a very tiny bit left and thus i am still around.

It is not easy to hang on, but it is also hard to  give up. 

Because who knows what is at the end of the tunnel?

What if that moment of success will come after the 20th time of failure and what if i am already already at my 20th time and the 21st time will be a success?

Pastor Kong went on to say about a woman who went to Pastor Cho bc of  her daughter. A daughter whom she nearly wanted dead because she is so terrible a person. The woman and her husband were feeling hopeless for the daughter.
Frankly, my sister isnt a very bad person, she is a sweet girl and i believe she is not one that wants me dead. At her age, i wasnt so concern about my family members too. Perhaps after some incident outside with my abusive and psychotic Ex, i realise that Family is still the best and i cherish my Family more than i used to.

Thus even though it is 2 different cases, but i find the relation way too similar, the way we feel hopeless (the woman and i ) about the family and the way we are disappointed with our kins.

Pastor Kong said that, for situation to change, we have to look at the situation with Jesus’s eyes. His perspective will never be bad, it will always be good. If we can look at the situation with Jesus’s eyes, things will change.

Frankly, i have never been able to look at my sister with Jesus’s eyes because His eyes is full of love and forgiveness. I am full of sadness and grievances for my Sister…

Thus i really pray that situation will change not by human nor actions but by Will of God.

Sidetrack from the sermon – After this incident, alot of people around me has been asking me to let go and Let God…even a co worker whom i do not see myself talking much to (not from the same company, more like a Marketing partner) will comfort me and pray for me, telling me that i should let go and Let God – (he doesnt know what happens thou)

I am rather thankful to Pastor Kong and my church, perhaps i am destined to be rooted here, to receive and to give. Even at this very minute, which Pastor has to face tremendous accusations and stress, he still manage to minister to broken souls and i am one of the broken souls… I am thankful to him, my church and of cos, God.

Here is a Video from the very¬†anointed Pastor John Bevere to cheer us on during this crazy tough time ūüôā¬†Click here.

Perhaps God really hasnt left me a bit, and i am still trying to find out more traits of God… Will you keep me in prayers?

Right, i have to go… and hopefully, the next time i am back, i will have better and happier stuffs to blog about…

My birthday is coming and i remember saying that i really love Birthdays but i did not expect things to turn out this way, even the Sister who once wanted to celebrate with me…is now not on talking terms with me…

Best Birthday present or what…

Upset, but i leave it all (emotions) to you, my Lord.

images

Be Back soon,

Valliez Lesley

Vdates April Week 2 ’13

IMG_20130316_5  Hi there!

Cant believe another week flew JUST LIKE THAT. I hate how time flies, it is flying rapidly especially.
May is coming and May seems like someone’s birthday – mine! haha.

I know of people who doesnt give a hoot about Birthdays but i do ok, it is a big day to me because i am super         in love with myself. To me,  my birthday is a special day because thats when an awesome person is born and thats me. Thanks.

But as the age increases, the desire to blow candles on the cake decreases :/ but i am still looking forward to celebrating of cos.

Just that i do not know who to celebrate with. For a long time, my closed friends have been bz with their lives and we have stopped celebrating Bdays for each other.

Do i sound like a loner now? Omg, i hope not. LOL

(Realised that the dark picture brings across an Emo message but no!!! i just love the effects of the photo and it is not supposed to be emo!!!)

I mean, for Bdays- i would love to celebrate with the closest people and not just any random person…my closest people are all busy but i am sure some do rem lah!

Anyway, still weeks to go and i am not really looking forward to that day now so perhaps i will talk about this later. :/

Ok, i guess is time to do some simple updates for the past week and events. Not much happenings and as usual, i took pictures to make recording easy.

I realise i havent been doing ‘Serious Blogging‘ for some time (some self improvement lessons).
Not that i am expert at self improvement but there are some experiences that i might be able to share with you guys – if it helps-good, if not…shrugs. Haha!

Maybe soon!

20130404_135142

Went to see a doc last week because of the itchy throat. I decided to knock off at 12pm, not that i want but the throat is feeling crazily uncomfortable.

It was just amazing how the whole experience turned out to be. I was rushing to the clinic near my office, i actually reached the 1st clinic at 1248pm and i was told  that i am late. The info they gave online was that they are open till 1pm.

The nurse insisted that their last patient has to be in the clinic and register by 1245pm. Ok i was late by 3mins and i am denied the chance of seeing the doc. What a clinic. The nurses continue to gossip and laughed loudly after i took my leave.

Very nice.

So i went to the next clinic that was 3 levels above the previous one. I reached there at ard 1253pm? Super late and i thought tts it, i will have to run to another clinic. But this time roung, the nurse there was so nice and she registered my name and i went ahead with the consultation.

The doc was a friendly and nice old man. He found out that i stopped smoking, he warned me  and told me NOT to touch it again. Haha.

Then, i sat down near the recept area and waited for my turn to collect my med. I was taken aback by a group of people who (suddenly) joined me and they took out their bibles and started their bible studies. YES! Right there! Haha. I was kinda ‘invited’ to join them.
I am not sure how they know i am a Christian, perhaps they saw my Cross pendant but i did not think it was obvious as it was inside my dress that day. Haha.

I joined them anyhow.

I am very touched and surprised by the message i received that day. I believe when a non believer meet with such situation, he/she will freak out and get disgusted (thats hw i wud feel when i was a non believer years back).

But for me, i know very well that God is always around me, no matter what and where. He is always talking to me. Thus the message that day really was very edifying for me.

It was 1 Chronicles 12.

Yes, the whole chapter.  You may read it Here.

However, just fyi, a short brief on the chapter:

It simply means that, if you are doing God’s work and doing it right (like David in the book). God’s favour will always be with you. Even people who do not like you, even neutral parties or even the enemies’s people, they might come to you and help you.
It doesnt has to be what you do or did that makes people wana take sides with you, it simply means God has favour over you and will send people to you.
You will also come out strong and defeat your enemy because you are doing God’s work, and being obedient to God.

This applies very much in life and of course, the current situation of my Church. I am touched by this chapter as i seldom touches the bible (opps) and i doubt i would like to read 1 Chronicles even if i happens to read the bible. I like the New Testament more actually. Haha.

Thus i am very grateful that a visit to the clinic actually allow me to feel and hear God. I thank Him for ¬†the peace and confirmation he put into my heart. Of course, i will also apply this chapter in my own plannings for my own stuff. ūüôā

Thank you God, for letting me know You are always around me =)

Project Fruits

IMG_20130405_2 IMG_20130405_1 20130405_222155

20130405_214430

20130405_230525 20130405_211601

The Friday night.

I spent my Friday night doing this! Haha. I call it “Project Fruits”
I was supposed to have a meeting with my sis tt night but we postponed because of Project Fruits.

I spent almost 3 hrs cutting up all the fruits and putting them into sticks. Mum was helping alot on this and she was cutting and cutting, especially the pineapples. I am so thankful. I think i shall sms her now and tell her i love her. Haha cant help it!

It was so much fruits and it was the first time i bought so much fruits all at once. $30 worth of fruits! Ronald was kind enough to help me carry them back.
If not,  i would never be able to carry those fruits home, it weighs more than 15kg i think.

Project Fruits is actually for Gary’s clinic opening. He needed fruits and i offer to bring since i insisted of bringing something over.

I mean, who would attend an opening party empty handed? I can’t do that.

So i googled for Fruits Basket online and Duh…the fruits baskets that the various florist sell ¬†look super MEH and ¬†they are so expensive.
The fruits look super unappealing and i was disappointed.

Then i thought of doing something special and ¬†thus i Youtube for DIY fruits baskets. Tada! I found clips on DIY fruits baskets! I thought it was simple but it actually was quite tedious and i am so blessed to have Mummy to help me. Mummy always nv fails me ūüôā

It was alright except for the cutting and all.

Did the arrangement in the morning and i am pleased with my DIY Fruits Basket. Honestly, it can look better if i use more time, it can be improved actually.

20130406_101301

This is the Top View

20130406_101306

This is how it looks actually.

IMG_20130406_3

IMG_20130406_1

I instagrammed it while i was in the cab down to Gary’s clinic.
Of cos, it was meant to be a surprise thus i didnt reveal the real picture of the pressie till i reached the clinic.20130406_115236

20130406_121635

20130406_121638

20130406_121640

I am glad the guests and Gary love it. I know ¬†Gary is a perfectionist and he always expects the best. I know he shouldnt blame me even if the fruit basket turns out like shit but i do not want to give a pot of ‘shit’ to people on people’s opening la!
And if i am the one opening a shop, i wouldnt expect to receive a pot of ugly looking thing also la!

I am not expecting to receive praises and thanks, really i am not. I once mentioned in my fb, insta and blog that i appreciate people who are thankful and grateful and not taking others’ favour for granted but i really do not mean i need praises and¬†recognition¬†all the time, Especially this time.

But i was surprised that Gary thanked me a couple of times. I guess Seven n Gary r being extra careful and sensitive to my feelings nowadays. I am the one that is very thankful to them for being so sensitive to how i feel. Thank you Happy 3. I really do not need those praises and non stop thanks but i am ¬†very happy you guys love me. ūüôā

Anyway, i thought i did not do much and i feel very embarrassed to being thanked for a couple of times. Tsk!

Congrats Gary! Congrats on your new opening and enjoy the challenging new journey that awaits you!

Friends, if you want to know more about Dr Gary and his services, you may read HERE.

Also, even if you do not need Chiropractic treatments, if you are like me who wants to find out more on how to lose those bumps and bulges, you may also read up Dr Gary’s blog. He is a very positive friend and his encouraging blog might just help you some way or another!

Dr Gary will also be speaking at The China Club Singapore on the 22nd May 2013. Wednesday. This workshop is open to all China Club Members and UOB Lady Solitaire Cardholders Exclusively. Please find details below:

chiro


IMG_20130406_23

Gary and his ¬†parents ūüôāIMG_20130406_22

IMG_20130406_21

IMG_20130406_18

IMG_20130406_2

20130406_121624

20130406_120618

Mandatory Speech by Gary. Hurhur

20130406_120612

20130406_120157

20130406_115308

1365235412654

.

.

IMG_20130330_8

There. Thats me obviously. With boring Dark Brown hair (sometimes very light brown because of sunlight)

I was thinking of adding some colors to my hair but i hated Ombre as it is so common nowadays and almost 4 gals out of 10 gals have ombre hair.

Moreover, my hair is abit too short for ombre. Thus i wanted something thats not so flashy yet chic ( i personally think that the flashy ombre that alot of bloggers did recently look kinda cliche, i understand that it is stylish but anything too much is Not. To me.)

Went to Ooosh  and got my hair done by Perry. He is a personal friend and he is the Director of Ooosh. Perry has very rich experiences in Hair and Beauty. Whoever walks out of Ooosh always brings a wide grin with him or her, thats my own observation while i was there.

Alot of times, i am there whenever im in town, just to catch up with Perry and his wife. I did not do my hair there (back then) and it is not like they are my preferred hairstylist from day 1. We started out as friends and then i realised that their works are awesome and their services really gain recognition and praises from the customers.

Just to add, i am not very impressed with Salons that sponsor the whole loads of bloggers and whatnot because if you are good, you wouldnt need to do that (thats my own opinion).
Moreover, i hate looking ‘similar’ or having the ‘same’ hair with another person, thus i prefer to go to a¬†recognized¬†and ‘proper’ hair salon.
I do not mean that the other salons are crap, i just prefer Ooosh in this case as i am doing something which the whole of Sg has already been doing. I trust that i will not walk out of the salon looking like another person because ¬†there will be some ‘unique’ twists which Perry will add in.

My hair is now not super awesome but i like it, it is not too Flashy and it looks a little ombre but it is kinda hidden. Not exceptionally special and i am sure there are people with similar style but at least not a handful i guess?

Anyway, i also brought Mum along this time. I make it a point that whenever i am ‘enjoying’ , be it good food or good relaxing activities, i will include Mummy because she deserves good stuffs more than anyone!

Thus Mummy joined me and she got herself a new hairstyle that day too.
Mum has always been very careful with how she spends thus she always cut her hair at those $10 salons downstairs my house.
I had enough of letting her ruin her hair (lol, not that i despise the $10 hair salons but i believe in paying for good services) and thus i dragged her along with me to Ooosh.

IMG_20130406_13

IMG_20130406_11

Mum looking Happy ūüôā I love her to bits

IMG_20130406_19

Me and Amanda. She is super cute and chatty.
My long hours there aint that bored because of her.

IMG_20130406_17
IMG_20130406_12

Brought Mum to have dinner at Ion (forgot the name of the rest!)
and spent my Sat with her, walking around Ion after the Hair sessions.

IMG_20130406_6Our New Heads ūüôā


b4aft

Mandatory Before & After Pic

I personally think it is still acceptable and quite ok ah. Not very Lianish like some ignorant people would say.
Anyway, i feel it depends on a person’s behavior instead of appearance to determine a person’s character.
For those that do not know what is ‘Lianish‘ (as i have a couple of foreign readers) it basically means lady hooligans/gangsters with outrageous appearances or just think “Lindsay Lohan” =x

Of course, i adore my hair now and i would post a lot more pictures!

IMG_20130406_24

IMG_20130406_16

IMG_20130406_15

IMG_20130406_14

IMG_20130406_9

IMG_20130406_8

IMG_20130406_7

IMG_20130406_5

Ok, thats all for now! Haha!

Ooosh! at Delfi Orchard boasts a groundbreaking hair & beauty concept based on a social entrepreneurship model.
It is helmed by award-winning hairstylist Perry TJ.

Delfi Orchard, 402 Orchard Road #01-05/06

Singapore 238876
+65 6733-1068 / 6733-6113
http://www.ooosh.com.sg

.

.

Went out with my Aunt on Sun and went shopping with her. Happy to spend time with her ūüôā

IMG_20130407_173717

Ytd i lost my patience with Mum, feeling so guilt stricken. ūüė¶ But i am very blessed, my Mum understands my foul temper and always gives in to me (worse feeling builds up inside me).

I have to keep reminding myself to stop being so rude to Mummy and control that foul temper of mine.

Anyway, the week was a busy one and this Wed marks my last QiGong class, i am looking forward to Zumba and more intense workout sessions! Havent been losing much ever since that 2.5kg. =(

Anw, i did this funny crap:

1365325472243

P/S Looking forward to the Holiday i am having with my Family (although still a long long way :/ )

1365320427449

Gona be a busy week ahead, Till the next post^

ValliezLesley 

IMG_20130408_093507

Vdates April week 1

IMG_20130402_1

Hi there^ Its been sometime since i last updated about myself.

As you already read, the last few posts are all about Leslie Cheung and his death anniversary and etc.

Well, a little updates about myself over the past week.

Aunt and Mum went Easter service  on Good Friday with me to church, Mum enjoyed the drama as usual and Aunt is very touched.

I didnt ask her, i knew she used to be a skeptic when it comes to Christianity. But she responded to whatever the Pastor says and she prays on her own without me asking her to. I just let things ¬†flow itself and i do my own prayers. Other things just fall in place…

Please pray for me and my family yea, my aunt said the sinners prayer:) !

Mum is looking very mischievous. omg.

IMG_20130329_2

I have alot of friends who are stubborn when it comes to this topic, like opening their mind towards Christianity?
They will tell me things like “I will never convert no matter what”, “dont need to tell me anything about Christianity, i will not want to listen” and etc.

Well, i dont blame them, i was like that in the past.

However, i feel there is no wrong in opening up to know more about different things, Just like my friend who asked me to go to the buddhist¬†temple ‘to have a feel’ of what the religion is about, i did not reject.

Of course , i know how it feels,  i was a buddhist / taoist since young till 3 years ago. But it feel that there is no wrong or right in choosing your own Faith.

What i did not feel from being a buddhist or taoist (the love and r/s with God),  & what that did not make me a better person during those times, i experienced it when i am a Christian.

So why would i go back to those days? I feel i have experienced the best already and i wouldnt even think of going back.

But this does not stop me from opening up my heart and mind to listen to others when they have something to say about their religions, however deep in me, i know what is the Best, this wont change.

Thus i am a little upset whenever skeptics say those things that shut me up totally when they want me to share about Christianity. I am like… “you ask me share isnt it?”

Haha. Then i realised, some people arent really sincere in listening to my sharing on my views and ¬†choice of Christianity, these people are purely prepared to ‘argue’ with you. Like…they came prepared, so no matter what you say, they will ‘counter’ you with their own views and it is usually very negative towards Christ.

Shrugs.

IMG_20130329_3

IMG_20130329_4

Ok, anyway back to Aunt, i am thankful to God that she was touched, I absolutely believe that NO ‘brainwash’ is needed.
She was skeptic not only towards Christ but also my Church especially.
But i guess the Power of God really is almighty and it touches ūüôā She is feeling happy throughout. ūüôā

Also, i would like to add, Aunt can feel the peace and calmness not due to me (obviously) and also, she kept an open mind and really stayed neutral when she went to church, her mind was blank and wasnt full of negative critics and biasness.
So next time, before saying you do not feel anything even after going to church, it is not exactly wrong, but you can try going to the service with an open mind instead.

And i would like to emphasize, just like the past, nothing about $$$ was mentioned like what the media makes us to be like. Other than the usual offering which every other churches also will mention, nothing about soliciting $. Thus Aunt is very comfortable. CHC does NOT ¬†solicit¬†money from anybody-members,non members, public or “Reporters-that-visit-for-whatever-reasons”

IMG_20130329_1Pastor Kong delivering a very powerful message on Healing.

IMG_20130329_175251

The Easter Drama by the Drama team. It was awesome as usual.

IMG_20130330_1

Serving for Greeters for first service on Good Friday.

IMG_20130330_2

We then booked a cab and went to Bedok for dinner. It was rainning Cats and Dogs and there is no way to take a train, EXPO is terribly packed.
I really cant wait for church to go back to Suntec. ūüė¶

IMG_20130329_6

IMG_20130329_8

IMG_20130329_9

IMG_20130329_5

We had Dinner at this place call Kungfu Paradise. The concept is alittle like Xin Wang but it looks better from the outside. Food is super MEH. Service is not very bad, as in the servers are patient towards my requests. However, they are really very forgetful. I need to repeat 4 times for my ice water, 2 times for my chili sauce and etc.

I spent GoodFriday with my family and i am happy, i am thankful to my church mates for the flexibility too. Because i have to take care of my Mum and Aunt, i cant really concentrate serving and am thankful for the understanding mates.

The next day, i prepared and wana head out to serve the 3rd service and before i head out i actually scalded my palm. It was looking horrible with bruises and blisters. I was in great pain and i could not make it to serve on Saturday. I ended up sleeping at home.

The past week was ok ok but i remember being really hurt by my sis 1 of the nights. I can write a whole page of the incident but i decided to forget it.

I am still very much affected and hurt over her behavior and words but i rather not talk about it. ¬†I just pray for God to give me grace to forgive and to bring back the harmony and peace…

I have been very stressed recently. I guess it comes with the age and the increased level of commitment. Sometimes i feel that i am almost ‘there’. Very suffocating and i really just wish to lay there doing nothing.

Sometimes, i know i might be heading towards Depression.

For me,  Depression used to be an uncontrollable state of emotion.. it used to be.
After i know God, i have learnt that Happiness is a choice, sometimes i can hear God saying to me – dont give up, I am still with you!

You see, i know when i am at my brim, i know i might be slipping back to the dark sad days but i remind myself ¬†everytime (when i am about to give up on everything)… if the terrible 1 year of abuse can be over and i am alive and kicking, living even better now…what can be worse ¬†than that that i cant take?

Sometimes, after being stretched for a certain extent..you will really come out stronger.

Things are better and will be better.

Anyway, this is another busy week. I missed Qi gong last week because i am extremely tired and stressed out. I ran 5mins more than usual last week.

IMG_20130330_3

I totally dread running and exercising, i will be lying if i say i love Sports. I never like sports. But i want to keep myself fit. 
Trust me, i make tons of excuses when it comes to exercising. But the moment i started running, i find it kinda hard to stop.
You will want to run 15mins initially, but you will always tell yourself to run alittle more, which ended up in a 30mins run. 
And each time, you feel better about yourself after the run. #truestory

Today, i have Qigong and i cant wait for it to be over as i am signing up for Zumba next. Decided to attend classes on Sun this time as i have enough of being SO TIRED working out after a working day.

Running tonight again, still deciding on the route to take tonight…

Will be doing up something special for Gary’s clinic opening on Sat, gona spend my Sat with Mum ¬†after the opening. Another busy week.

And before i know it, first quarter of 2013 is almost over ūüė¶

IMG_20130402_104806

ValliezLesley~

V updates L

vvvv

Some updates about my past week.

I finally get to sing!

Have been wanting to sing because i can hardly remember the last time i sang. It was my hobby and frequent activity in the past but i guess i hardly have time for that recently.

I miss my singing bffs. They are none other than the usual clique but they are now married and are busy making babies i reckon.

Maybe we will get to meet soon? Not sure, the meeting has been delayed n more delays.

Anyway, i was a very blessed kid that day, paid the minimal (with all the discounts and all, thanks to W) and get the biggest room. Haha.

I personally prefer Party World than KBox, Partyworld doesnt give you store rooms even if there are only 2 pax (KBox’s rooms are pathetic, too small and are of size of storerooms) and PW even have massagers in the rooms, and the service is also very good.

I havent try the K Suite though and thus i prefer PW if you want to compare the common rooms.

1315934c88ae11e2ab4322000a1fa430_7

Needless to say, i need to Sing him. ūüôā Oh, you can also listen to the cover HERE.

75ca7ef488ee11e2ae9022000a1f9a21_7

77322bf288ad11e2b62722000a1fbc10_7

One more cover HERE

And i cant imagine people actually downloaded my singing. Surprised! HAHA.

cover

295675_10152606913135276_1927509311_n

Singing wasnt fantastic but dont judge lah, i havent sing for so long and i am not professional yo.

d918df1288af11e2a1e322000a9e0853_7

Damn shiok. Singing and massaging. If you mind, clean the feet with wipe tissue or something lah, ntg is perfect, i doubt they washes that cloth?  Not sure.

What else did i do, ok, the usual hang with Gary and Seven, we just chillax mostly now and sit around boozing and goofing.

The couple is leaving SG soon, i wish them a safe journey!

I completed another event at The China Club and i cant be any happier to work with the organizer Mrs Benelli / Chef  Roberto of Garibaldi and also, Pisotorio Foundation.

A little info on Pistorio Foundation:

5a38a5aa8c5711e2aa5e22000a1f96ec_7

The Pistorio Foundation, founded in 2005 by Pasquale Pistorio, is a non-profit organization whose mission is to improve¬†the living conditions of underprivileged children in developing countries, by building school and primary health care infrastructure and by sponsoring children’s education, health, and welfare.

Our vision is to send to school 10 000 children every year by the year 2015.

We operate exclusively through a network of volunteers and in close collaboration with rigorously selected local NGOs. All available resources go directly to our projects on location to benefit the children we are supporting.

Currently we have ongoing projects in Burkina Faso, Morocco, (Tibet) China, Thailand, and Cambodia. We are supporting the long-term education of 868 children throughout these countries. We have doubled the size of a primary school in Nibagdo, Burkina, we have built a dormitory at a school campus in Lithang, Tibet (China), a primary school and dormitory in Chiang Rai, Thailand. Currently we are completing construction of a secondary school in the rural area of Nibagdo region.

Our aims are
to acheive maximum transparency and efficiency in the non profit sector, 
to change the lives for the better of as many children and families as we can reach, 
to raise awareness amongst our friends and international community on the current living conditions of children in the developing world,
to raise attention and sensitivize communities towards children’s rights issues and the urgent need for the proper implementation, enforcement and respect of the rights of the child worldwide

The Foundation has no political or religious affiliation.

You may also read more and see visuals HERE.

The Dinner was a success, we had a silent Auction and we managed to help raise funds for Pistorio Foundation too.

The details of the dinner were posted on my blog previously HERE

I learnt that, there are kids all over the world that are deprived of the chances to study,live or even survive & the number of these kids are more than what we can imagine.

What really surprises me is that, with just $8, you can provide 1 backpack for a kid. $8 is only (approx) 1 full meal at Subway!

And at $80, you can provide 1 full year of transportation fee for 1 child. ($80 can last me for only a month!)

I am really not the kindest person ever, you see, i am still quite transparent with my emotions, which might or might not be a good thing.

I still complain and whine abt certain nonsense……ok back to the topic>>>

But, i seriously feel for these kids. And what makes me ache in e heart is, with that little amount of $, i can actually help so much.

$8 is not even the price of a packet of Cigarettes.  During those days which i smoke, I used to smoke 2 packets of Cigs a week and that amount to $20+ already. Imagine how many backpacks i can afford for the kids?

If you are interested in doing your part for these poor kids, please go to the website and read more on this foundation and how you can make your donations. You can be assured that there are no 3rd parties related or associated to this foundation and 100% of your donation will go directly to the projects.

Anyway, the night was really a busy but meaningful one and i am glad i am involved.

581696_10152619230440276_903538193_n
My pleasure to have
Mr Mah Bow Tan as 1 of our distinguished guests. He is a very nice and friendly man in real if you ask me.

429744_10152619230540276_1073004964_n

Ms Sandy, 2004’s Miss Singapore. Very Gorgeous in real.

577344_10152619230585276_1952334357_n

Guess i do not need to introduce this dude, amazing to have him for e event.
(can sing and play piano spontaneously even though he is just the emcee for e night)59723_10152619230430276_627056625_nMr Hossan Leong

69820_10152619230465276_1700634667_n

Chef Roberto of Garibaldi Restaurant

Opps, miss out this pic with my sis:

600326_501987639858389_504217816_n

Will b back for more updates!

Till then, God Bless~

Pre CNY updates 123

IMG_20130203_44

Hellllo~

I hope i¬†haven’t¬†been away for too long, and i hope my post will not be so long like the previous one this time. haha!

Y is the title Pre Cny updates 123 you ask, it is as it is! 123 is the 123th post of this blog! Hurhur

CNY is coming, i hope you have done the necessary shopping, clothes, food, whatever. I am not gonna do any intro because if you¬†haven’t¬†do any shopping for the above, u r quite screwed. HAHA no lah, kidding!

You can still rush to Chinatown for the food, just that it is more expensive now and it might not taste as good as it is more mass. Dont know about you, i usually do not trust variety in mass quantity.

As for clothes, i¬†don’t¬†know how to help you but pray hard the blogshops or e-commerce shops you patronize do meet-ups. Or, just rush to the infamous Bugis St, Far East, Forever 21, Zara, Mango and ETC lah. Is too last minute already.

For me, i¬†don’t¬†care. As mentioned, CNY is an excuse for my shopping spree, but i can actually shop anytime lah, so i didnt really bother to buy ALOT of clothes this year, mostly office wear or mre formal wear, for work. I¬†don’t¬†think i will be hanging out during CNY because i only have Granny to visit, and friends are all visiting their own families.

BUT, i still look forward to CNY because i like, because i am a Chinese.
As Ps Kong mentioned “alot of people actually ask if Christians celebrate CNY since we seem to be the Westernized batch that worship a ‘Western God’ ?”
I share the same answer as Ps Kong “Yes we do and we LOVE CNY because we are Chinese! It has ntg to do with our beliefs. Also, we believe Jesus isnt just a Western God. He is God. Period”
Thus, we also mean that we will never forget our roots, and in general, we cannot forget our roots, no matter what religion 1 choose to believe in.

Of course i heard of the myth and all about “ŤŅáŚĻī” and the myth about the monster “ŚĻī” (the monster’s name) and how CNY is related to it (Christians are not supposed to hmm, how do i put it…believe? worship? associate? with such symbolic erm..figure?)

But whatever. Lets be discerning, smart Christians.
Well, i believe it is a myth (that monster story), and it is like any fairytale, so i personally feel it has ntg to do with me being a Christian Chinese, celebrating CNY.
So i am cool and i still love and njoy CNY ūüôā

Anw, do allow me to say this, i love Ps Kong. He will never make me feel i am in a rigid and unreasonable place. (thats him, not meaning the place is perfect with perfect ppl. if you get my drift)
I remember going to other churches that forbid this and that.
I mean, cmon, we are all human, as long as we know what we are doing is not harming ourselves or others, y not?
I am glad i do not need to feel restricted and Mummy also appreciates this.

I have ntg much to update basically. I thought i updated quite a bit in the previous entry. Perhaps i can add in some photos this time for the past events.

Mum looks much younger and better now. Omg Mum, pls stop going to the $10 aunty hairdressers. I told her so many times but she just¬†couldn’t¬†be bothered with her looks and thus looking not so pleasant because she always patronize those hairdressers that cant be bothered/dont know how to make 1 look better.

I did a slight wave perm to my hair because the straight hair is pissing me off daily. It looks very nice only on  good-STRAIGHT hair days.
On most of the days, it is not. It curls up and i am tired of blowing the hair straight because it is rather stubborn.
Thus, i just perm it. Koreanish kinda perm, you may beg to differ but is ok, i like it. Haha.

BeforeIMG_20130202_9

During20130202_210643

After
IMG_20130202_11

Mum looks better right!
She looks too cute.
IMG_20130203_2

I do miss my straight hair though ūüė¶

Then i also met up with Zen, my very good friend, we last met up 2 or 3 years ago. Goodness. It was fun, though i do not know his friends prior to that night.

IMG_20130202_2IMG_20130202_5
Spent the weekend celebrating Sis’s bday, some Family time over weekend. Honestly, i¬†haven’t¬†been feeling too good recently. I cant help feeling sad and bad because i seem to be shouting at Mum more often recently. Like a parent that¬†couldn’t¬†control herself, i tend to scold my Mum whenever she forgets stuff, or say something that sounds absurd. Because Mum is a very conservative Chinese woman, she do not know how to express herself. She is not highly educated too, thus she always express herself wrongly and trust me, it can be very frustrating¬†whenever¬†she does ¬†that, especially at the wrong time.

IMG_20130203_38 IMG_20130203_39 IMG_20130203_7 IMG_20130203_8 IMG_20130203_10 IMG_20130203_11 IMG_20130203_12

IMG_20130203_6 Just a note, i lost faith in those food bloggers’ reviews. because despite the much ravings (especially from that famous youknowhofoodblogger), Royal China @ Raffles is so-so only ¬†for their DimSum.¬†
Dont get me wrong, it is definitely nice and decent. i will give it a 7.5/10 but the ravings were exaggerated, and i expect it to be 8 or 9.

IMG_20130203_25 HAPPY BDAY to my beloved Sister. Stay Healthy, Safe in your coming in and going out, be Blessed by Jesus, and of cos, Pretty lah! ūüôāIMG_20130203_26 IMG_20130203_29 Hope Mum loves the gift ūüôā – from sis and meIMG_20130203_30 IMG_20130203_31

@ Royal China@Raffles, Canele-Raffles City

But it is NOT her fault. I should be more understanding, and patient. But i¬†didn’t¬†and i am extremely disappointed with myself. I managed to be nicer to her for a period of time (without all the¬†shouting) but i am back to being mean again.

Of course, i will hug her and apologize and sms her all my apologies and she will stare at me, smile and then say: I keep quiet and let you scold, let you reflect yourself.
Awww. Mum is so so so best, she is the best on earth and no 1 can compare to her. NOBODY.
I love her and sometimes, i will think like a child and hope that she lives forever, and i live forever, not for myself, but to be with her. I love her so much.

I tell myself, i HAVE TO and i WILL BE nice to her from now on and STOP SHOUTING at her. I pray and i pray that i can LOVE her all i can and give her the best of me beside showering her with $ or gifts….:)

Anyway, lemme update on the Face lotion i was talking and raving about previously.

Since it is my own opinion and Review, it is Not paidРi can be blatantly honest! Wee~
It turns out that Hada LaBo is still very effective after approx 1week to 2 weeks of usage.
However, it is not as magical as what i raved about anymore.
On nights that i¬†didn’t¬†really use it, the flaky problem comes back the very next day.

Sometimes, i still feel that my skin is way too dry till it is so tight. I do not know how botox makes 1 feel because i have not try it but i hope it¬†doesn’t¬†feel as tight as i feel (sometimes). The feeling is not comfy nor pleasant. My face was so dry that¬†whenever¬†i yawn or even wen i¬†don’t¬† i can feel the tightness across the whole face. It is not the feeling of ‘firmness’. It is just…Dry.

Sigh. And i thought i found the¬†savior¬†water that can help my skin…

But to be fair, it does help me to stop my flaky skin problem. Just that, it is not Divine, not permanent. You have to keep using it if you want your result. Actually, every other product works this way too¬†isn’t¬†it? Is there any product that works¬†miraculously,¬†that will give you the perfect smooth skin after just a few apply?
I am just disappointed because during the 1st 3 days, i can expect and i see/feel the ¬†silky smooth skin even if i miss using it for 1 night. ¬†But later on, i¬†realize¬†that i have to apply it day and night in order to ‘retain‘ that silky smooth effect.

As i said, this is normal¬†isn’t¬†it? If a product requires just a few applies and works forever, the company of the product will be darn stupid. haha.
Oh, i heard that S_** is worse, i heard it gives you crazy outbreak the moment you stop using it. Wonder how true it is but i am not ready to spend that amount to risk finding out.

So, i would say,  Hada Labo is still good, i will give it 7.8/10 at this moment.

I recently added the Hydrating cream to the skin regime. I also got the Hada Labo Cleanser (supposed to moisturize as you wash).
The cream is supposed to ‘lock up the ocean’,¬†basically¬†locking the ‘moist and hydrated ¬†condition’.
I just started and today is Day 1. I cant guarantee any results now as it is only 1 day. But at this stage, the face is VERY smooth and nothing else.
It is JUST VERY SMOOTH. Also, the glow is very obvious, before and after putting on¬†cosmetic¬† it is the same, glowy and i have people complimenting that i appear to be very ‘glowy’ now. (it might also be because that i do not smoke now)

I will post some pictures of me without make up, you can judge yourself. They are not filtered and needless to say, not photoshopped (i dont know for hw many times must i say i dont know PS)

IMG_20130130_4 IMG_20130130_1 IMG_20130130_2 IMG_20130130_3

Alright, tts all for the skin, btw, my FB is back. But i am not checking it regularly and religiously like the past. I reckon i need a FB afterall, to keep myself updated about stuff happening around me, the news and trends (you get the fastest updates in FB than in forums). As i am planning something with Sis, i thought i might as well just retain the FB and since i dont really log in, doesnt matter.

IMG_20130202_1

But i am active in Twitter and Insta! Here also! ūüėÄ Hurhur~

Ok, I guess thats quite enough for a mini update. It turns out that i wrote more than i thought i would. Updated about what i have been doing recently, my family, and some humble opinions of the skin regime. Thats enough, more next time!

An Advance Happy Lunar New Year to all Chinese Readers! May this New Year shower you with Prosperity and Good Health.
Blessed CNY!:)

Lotsa Love,

VallieLesley

Tag Cloud