I have exactly an hour to finish this blogpost and i hope i am can rush out everything in an hour.
If i do not write it now, i doubt i will have anytime to till weeks later.
Anyway, i have plenty of updates but because of time constraint, i am still thinking what should i cut short.
To start off, i would like to Thank God for His promise that come to pass. (I urge you to read on, of cos, with no obligations)
Mum went through Water Baptism on 10th March, Sunday at our church City Harvest Singapore.
I honestly teared alot of times even before she went through the actual ceremony because i was very touched by how each step God directed us.
Finally, Mum and i are 1 people 🙂
Let me give a small brief on the whole journey Mum took before she baptise herself. (I actually realised that it is not that short)
It was almost impossible for her to even believe the existence of Jesus Christ. She has been a Taoist all her life, since born. Mum came from a traditional Chinese Family and the family is Taoist.
To them, Taoism means praying to their very own ‘Chinese gods and deities’ and they believe that these gods are more ‘powerful’ and more ‘suitable’ (even if Jesus Christ existed), in fact these gods and deities might be the only gods.
Yah anw, thats Mum and her faith since she was born.
I was also a hardcore Anti-Christ since young because of what i was taught since young. I hated Church and Christians. In my opinion, these Christians are the most irritating people in the world because they are preachy, they cant stop judging, they think they are the most noble and greatest people in the world. In fact, i guess i hated the people more than the religion itself (back then).
However, i believe the existence of Jesus Christ, but i just feel that i do not want to know Him because i rather stick to ‘my own gods’.
Looking back, i have many chances to know Jesus Christ. I can even recall each event:
1) Pri sch – tuition at a Church. I went there for free tuitions because it is free. oh ,my pri sch bff is a Christian and thus she brought me along.
2) Secondary Sch – I am still in touch with this Pri schmate and we happen to know some peeps from CHC. Honestly, that was 1 of the worst period because i have never feel so disturbed. I was turn off because the way they show concern to me was really more than i could take. Moreover, i was at a rebellious age.
3) Poly Days – I cant rem if i encounter any chances to interact with Church nor Jesus Christ during this period.
4) Working Days – Plenty of encounters.
My ex Boss was a super Pai Kia (gangster). Ok, he isnt exactly a gangster, he is just a hooligan. LOL.
But the smart type lah. Cant explain but he isnt those that loiter around Geylang and with no income. He is quite good at what he does.
He did asked me to join him at his Church and he explained Jesus to me. Pardon me but i nida be honest so at tt time, I was lik “F*** OFF. i dont want to know about Him. I know HE is some ang mor with beard. I noe HE might be God but i have my own god so please spare me the agony. Please let me pray to my own god and respect me pls”
He never gives up on me but i never give in either. After he finally ‘conned me’ (haha) to his Church, i was lik OMG. PLEASE . I WILL NEVER B A CHRISTIAN.
This was in 2004? i cant really rem. But i was really not into all these preachy stuffs. Even though my life was not great and i was not happy with life and all, i dont believe anyone can help me. I was damn lost.
My ex colleague was also sharing Jesus to me and i was like WTF. (pardon the french again, but i really really felt that way and i dont wana act nice and all with hw i felt)
Then 1 day during that same period, i did gave in a little. I rem i was drunk and i mumbled this “Look, if you are real, you grant me wish n I wud believe you exist”
Nope, it didnt happen, my wish didnt come true i brush this Jesus thing behind my back.
My ex colleague was still comforting me, of cos, she wud do it in the name of Jesus and i have no idea why i cry when she was talking about Jesus. I mean, i wasnt exactly emo over Jesus, i was supposed to be sad over my own issues and there i was crying for whatever reason-idontknow?
Maybe it is just me bottling all the stress up for too long, i thought.
Still, i didnt keep this Jesus thing very serious and i brushed it away again.
Mum was all along in the picture during these days. She prayed to alot of ‘chinese gods’ for me. I dont remember those names of the gods but she just never stop praying, because she really feel the ache seeing me so lost in life, failing in things i am involved.
We went fortune telling and i was told over and over that if i pray to this n that, i will get this n that, i will be this n that.
I even changed my Chinese name because the fortune teller say it will bring me luck.
This fortune teller, apparently is very famous in Sg.
However, 1 week after i changed my Chinese name, i got into a car accident. So much for better luck.
Next, i met Nic, my bf then. He was a Catholic and yah, i have to go church with him often.
We eventually brk up and i went back to church a few times on my own after the breakup but eventually i stopped going because i couldnt receive the Word there.
Well, at tt time, i didnt want to commit to any religion anymore because to me, all religions exist and i just have to pick 1. But i wasnt the least interested to pick.
Then, everything falls into place, i got myself a new job, i knew Allan through work and he brought me to church.
It was CHC and yes, i was super skeptical but i didnt want to turn down a potential working partner that might help in my job back then.
I wasnt very impressed because i really hated how loud CHC is, and i was still haunted by that bad experience i had with CHC during my teenage days.
However, i said the Sinners Prayer the 1st time i visited the Church. I guess i was so lost that i cant b bothered anymore, i guess i was empty and i just needed some people around me (you know, church people are super willing to do that ), but i do not mean the boyfriends kind.
So i was in church and i really felt happy, very happy. I have no lack, i mean, i wasnt as ‘well off’ as now, i was in debt, i was single, i was just lacking of everything in life, $, achievements, romance and etc.
But Still, i dont know why during that period of time, even though i was lacking, i felt i have NO lack. It is a strange feeling and i also cant explain why my body produce Endorphin on its own.
However, i grew tired of Church and i grew lazy, i admit my Faith wasnt build strongly and i backslided.
You must be thinking why am i talking about myself when i am supposed to share about my Mum’s journey to Chritianity. If you read on, you will probably know that it is closely related.
Frankly, from the moment i went Church and Baptism, Mum was not happy.
During my Teenage days, she would say nasty things like “dont involve me if you r really going to church, you are blind to even trust church and just dont get me into trouble by going to some western God” (ok, i dont know what trouble she was talking about???)
But because i am already an adult when i went for baptism and i thought she prolly do not want to say much.
Well, after i left church for 1 year, which is also around the same time i met my Ex. I suffered the most during that 1 yr.
My mind wasnt even on God nor Church though i still rem i am a Christian but i was really weak.
My mind was more on my Ex who gave me tons of nonsense like betrayals and physical beatings and abuses.
I was in hell for that 1 year.
After the break up, i took quite some time, with the help of my churchmates, leaders, pastor and of cos, GOD.
I returned to Church.
My life changed ever since.
I am not super rich now, i haven met anyone i fancy nor fancy me, i am still me.
But it doesnt matter, i know i am really living well now, not sure about the near future but i like it now, i like the ‘alone feeling’ now.
I am not super rich but i am getting better off than before.
Besides all that, my life was good in the sense that i am more responsible, i love people more (i hope,haha), i def love my family more, i def live better with them with lesser quarrels (i used to quarrel with sis and mum v often and there was no peace at home), there are abundant laughter at home now – more than ever, all in all, i grew up.
Stop smoking – a huge thing in my life as i felt i smoke almost al my life, since 14. I begin to talk more like an adult and think more like an adult (according to people la. how can i say tt of myself, i still feel i m like a kid most of the time!)
In conclusion, my Mum finally worry lesser for me. She saw alot of changes in me. Not only that, she sees the changes in the family and herself.
Yes, she suggested to me that she might want to check out what this God is all about since she saw my changes, since i always boast about Him.
She visited church a few times, she prayed, she teared, she felt God. Please dont ask me to explain how, i mean, i can do that but as i mentioned before, it is very personal. I cant explain or describe in words, you know, such experiences is so personal, it is really tough to put it in words.
I asked her if it is her own feelings or emotions but she said no, she has never encounter such feeling when she was a Taoist.
I would say the same too.
She attended church and she kinda slided away but she still comes to church w me occasionally. She does believe in Jesus.
After alot of struggles and fear, she managed to step out by Faith and she went for Baptism.
I was worried initially that she doesnt know what is Baptism all about. I was worried that she baptise for the sake of it and not understanding it.
I mean, she isnt so sure about the whole Christianity thing even though she is aware who is Jesus. Even i cant say i know the bible well.
But I am very blessed, Seven, my churchmate,my bff, told me to let go n let God.
True enough, i did that. Things fall in place.
God really does His part n i am so wonderfully blessed because throughout these days, even before this baptism thing come into the picture, my leader Eng Han and his Wife Janet have never stop asking about me and my mum, helping us in whatever needs.
I shant elaborate but frankly, Janet really helped alot, despite her own situation now, she never stop showing concern, finding out the right procedures for my mum, for her to be baptised, made alot of phonecalls and etc.
On the day of Baptism, Eng Han brought his whole family to church to support my mum. We were extremely touched.
Thank you Eng Han, Thank you Janet, Thank you God for wonderful Leader. No matter what happens, he is my wonderful leader that God sent.
Ok, anyway, back to Mum. She looks and feel happier of cos, now that she is a baptised Christian. Even before she was baptised, ever since i turned Christian, Mum got to know a handful of people who are Christians too- they often encourage her.
To me, God really does His part and everything just fall nicely in place. I do not need to ‘brainwash’ or ‘psycho’ her.
She is now telling me she will be going back to church soon. Please pray for her guys! 🙂 I certainly wish to see her going more to church, i will do my part in giving her more knowledge on the Word, perhaps i can get my friends to give her Bible studies too! Please pray for us!
I really have alot to share on our journey but it is very long and i am not sure if any1 will want to read that much of info. haha.
Of cos, it was never easy to make sucha big decision for both of us, i cant possibly write down everything and every miracle but trust us that we came a long way.
I am now very grateful to God that my Mum is saved. I am still praying for the rest of my family!
I mentioned i was very irritated by some Christians in the past, in fact, i have to admit, back then, CHC has a history of having more aggressive preachers/believers. I do not blame them, sometimes i feel i behave the same way too.
Trust me that we are not paid to be so diligent. We merely want to share the happiness we found. Perhaps we really do it the wrong way at times, but do forgive us for being aggressive at times. (Nobody is perfect right) We just feel too much and it is not that i do not respect you, i might love you too much to let you stay in the stage you are now. Because i have tasted the worst (for me, it is almost worst) stage of my life, and i manage to come out of it just because i knew Jesus, thus i really want you to experience the same happiness as i.
However, i have learnt and is still learning how to respect and love people around me regardless of religions. I have to bear in mind how irritating it is when a non believer has to tolerate preachy messages by believers.
Pray for me ok! haha.
Ayte, i used 1 hr and i havent finish blogging, this post must be super long.
I will be back – signing off now, continue tomorrow! 🙂
So here i am, continuing where i left off. So…
In conclusion, Mum and i really tasted the sweetness and thus made our decisions. Once again, i am not converting anyone. I understand how i might have irritate u for the above but i just have to say what is in my mind right.
If you are not comfy, which i understand too, i used to irk at the preachy stuffs too, you may just skip reading (this post) lah. I dont know about you, i hafta admit, whenever i am not comfy (about topics on Jesus and Christianity)back then, a part of me was actually aware that there are certain bad habits (i had) that i wana avoid facing.
Also, a part of me is stubborn and not open minded about Christianity, it is not the religion i loathe. It is perhaps, just me…I was really too strong opinionated to accept the fact that i am actually curious about this God.
Well, not sure about you but in anyway, be happy for me and my family ayte? 🙂
I wana encourage some Christian friends here, if you are praying for your unsaved frens or families, please do not be discouraged.
The day will come, and it has to be God’s timing.
After all these years, i have learnt that no matter how perfect our desired timing is, we cant beat God.
His timing is indeed the best.
Dont Give up! 🙂